A Few Lumps in Our Thanksgiving Gravy

The interface for adding a post at WordPress really looks different this week!  The save button is tiny and positioned right above the publish button, so I put my odds of a premature post publishing at 50%.  Gak, I’m so bad at adapting to changes like this on the fly.  One thing that is interesting is the preset picture size is much larger.  Maybe that’s a good thing—let us know what you think.

Well, it’s already the week before Thanksgiving; I must be living in some time-collapsing vortex, because I could swear it’s just the week after Halloween.  But now that I look around, the yard has that bare look that I always associate with Thanksgiving.  At least the grass is still green.

What it has been around here is windy!  It was practically howling for a couple of days this week with 50 mph gusts.  Unfortunately, we didn’t get the canvas cover for the gazebo down in time:

Umm, we've had some high winds around here

The good news is that we knew we weren’t going to get more than another season out of it–our summer weather, especially the sun, takes a toll on canvas.  The bad news is that I can’t use it as a pattern for a new cover.  Still hoping that I can find a replacement; it seems so wasteful to buy a whole new gazebo next year when all we need is a canopy.

While looking over our pictures, it occurred to me that Thanksgiving craft projects (this link is full of horrible fails, mostly of the food variety) are the most likely culprits to end up on our blog, although at least one thing was produced by a company that should have known better:

When turkeys look creepy

I guess it’s the turkey equivalent of those glass hens-sitting-on-nests dishes that people use for candy dishes, paperclip holders, ashtrays, dog treats, ummm decoration?  Okay, I’m getting the cart before the horse; what it’s used for isn’t the problem.  Instead, let’s focus on that snake-like protrusion that is supposed to be a beak and snood.  Ugh, that poor tom looks like an alien pod-turkey and we know nothing good can come of that!  Maybe Syfy will be inspired by this abomination and make a movie—Turknado, Turkageddon, The Turkinator, …

I could go either way on this next turkey:

Angry Birds, turkey edition

No, not whether it’s good or not—you know the answer to that question—but whether it’s a craft project or commercially produced.  It really doesn’t matter except that you might argue that professionals should be better than this—an idea that we debunk every week, but it still should be their goal.  I’m also just a bit creeped out by the squash-like feathers on the bottom half, or maybe they’re corn.  And what’s the deal with the necktie?

Ditto with this turkey being handmade, or commercially made:

All Natural Grade A Turkey   All Natural Grade A Turkey2

What do you think?  It could have been done by someone crafty with foliage, instead of a company, but the chances of me being able to make this are pretty small.  I can’t even arrange flowers in a vase, so getting pine cones, leaves, sticks, and raffia to cooperate and make a turkey would probably involve human sacrifice.  Here’s the difference between myself and the “nailed it” crafting crowd—I know my weaknesses and would not even attempt it unless there were a bonfire handy.

I kind of like this turkey, but who made him?

Mostly fun

I’ve seen these wood projects go both ways–commercial and individual wood workers.  My only problem with tom turkey is that stick nailed to his neck.  Is that supposed to be his snood (see above link), a wooden necktie, or what?  If he had come home with me, that stick would have been removed pronto, and maybe I would have made him a tiny felt puritan hat, just ’cause B.H. likes tiny hats on things.

I think these turkeys are someone’s craft project:

They're not even salt and peppers

and a pretty poor one at that.  What about turkeys says copper and silver to you?  To top it off, they aren’t even salt and pepper shakers for Pete’s sake.  The best thing you could do with this pair would be stuffing them into the cornucopia and ignoring their existence.  No need to get the giant mallet out.

No, we didn’t set this picture up:

We absolutey did not set this up!

It did make us laugh; it’s hard to even know where to start with this non-PC tableau.  It’s probably some metaphor about the state of our country that is way over my head.  I find the Native American figure particularly bad, and I get the feeling that he and the woman were part of a set from the colors used.  Hopefully it was done many, many years ago, when people just weren’t sensitive to stereotypes.  On the other hand, the turkey is the coolest thing on the table; blue-headed ones are just so unreal looking.

Just in case you haven’t had your fill of bad Thanksgiving decor:

Whole shelf of Thanksgiving trash

I know what I prefer to all of the things in this post—cute kid crafts and pictures.  I still love the drawings of their little hands with feathers.  If you want something a little more elegant, try a flower arrangement and candles.  Heck, I’m even open to gourds, dried grasses, and twigs, arranged by someone who knows what they’re doing.  Maybe the best way to decorate a table is to have smiling faces around it who understand just how lucky they are!

To all of our readers who celebrate Thanksgiving:


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You’d Better Sit Down

Actually, we have always assumed that most of our savvy readers are sitting down while reading our posts, but with the new fad for stand-up desks, you never know.  We recommend a little rest while reading our blog, only because when you turn your head sideways to try and make sense of some things, you are less likely to lose your balance.  Also makes for an easier time knee-slapping, and forehead-hitting when something needs that sort of reaction.

While we recommend sitting for short periods of time, neither of us have been tempted to do it on “old Bossy”:

Hi-Yo Bossie AwayWe thought this was just another case of the clerks at the local thrift being silly, but when we picked up the figurine, we realized it was made that way.  On top of that, we have real concerns about this poor bovine’s udder.  Somehow, I don’t think they are supposed to be attached to the SIDE of the cow.  Maybe that little cherub is heavier than he thinks and caused a veterinary emergency.   We do commend the person who sent the whole lot to the thrift store.  That much sugar all at once could cause some real health problems.

Here is an example of where NOT to sit:

Antler ChairI have a problem with these chairs even when they are real and antique.  Hubby adores them, and I live in fear of the day he comes across one at some estate sale.  I will have to swallow my good taste, and say “yes dear” sweetly, when he wants to bring it home.  If you love me, you will say a little prayer that the day never comes.  I was lucky that 1. hubby wasn’t with me this day, and 2.  it was fake and resin, so he still wouldn’t have brought it home.  Whew, dodged a bullet there.

Now, if this sweet little thing had been a teensy bit less expensive, I might have slipped it into the back of the truck:

children's corner chairIt is hard to tell in the photo, but this charming little corner chair was child size.  It wasn’t old or anything, but it was just cute.  The summer intern is long past fitting into something like this, but it would be adorable with a teddy or a larger doll in it.  It is always handy when my cheapness saves me from cluttering up my house some more.

At the same sale, we came across this:

This is a really ODD thing!Deb called it a really odd thing, and I called it a bird thingy in my notes, as I was deciding what to put in the blog.  I have now noticed the “creepy” sign behind it, and maybe they should be sold as a set.  Actually, it’s not too creepy, unless that beak was the reason for the skull resting on the rock.  Maybe the whole thing should just have a big old warning sign on it.  Actually, the more I look at it the more it grows on me.  Now who needs the creepy sign?

We have noticed that this year the peacock is the bird of choice.  Sorry, owls, your day in the sun is over. (Probably better that way, as they can now go hunting at night like they should!)  That being said, how do you make such a pretty bird a nightmare?

Peacocks must be inYou take a fairly cool piece of embroidery and stick it in a gosh-awful frame.  Being modest needle-workers ourselves, we are always fascinated with amazing embroidery.  We loved this, but a simple black frame, if you please.  This one looks like it was made for the back room of a Chinese bordello.

Peacocks have an excuse for gilding the lily, look at that tail, but sometimes it is better to know when to say when:

Oh that lamp shadeWith both of us being a “certain age” we can remember lamps like these from various and sundry aunts’ houses.  They never would have shown up in our own homes, because even as kids, we had better taste, and that stupid ruffle would have bit the dust early on.  There is just never anything good to say about these, unless it is to point out that if you forget to put a light bulb in there, they will show up less.

Speaking of nothing good.  WTF?:

He digs and passes gas? I want one!Aren’t you glad I asked you to sit down?  No, really, he digs AND passes gas?  What’s not to love?  Anyone who has ever had a dog realizes that these are not the fun parts of owning a dog.  How come he doesn’t sit up and wag his tail, shake paws, or look at you with soulful adoring eyes?  No, they made one with unpleasant bodily functions who digs up your tulips.  Pretty sure we know why he is still in the box, and at the thrift store.

While we are wondering about things, we have a whatsis:

What the heck is this?There it sits, just as we found it.  An encrusted wine bottle with a beaded foofy instead of a cork.  It wasn’t even full of wine.  Why, Why, Why?  They worked really hard on it; check out the fantastic grouting job:

The Whatsis baseWe still don’t know why they worked on it.  It was gone almost immediately, so we must just be missing the point.  If anyone does know if this has any sensible use (heck, we would settle for just a note lettings know what it is), drop us a line.  We also accept silly conjectures, and downright goofy musings.

While I know I have you in a position that will not cause bodily harm when you see something awful, I wanted to share this:

Oh HoneyPlease read closely what they felt was necessary to put in a can.  Thank goodness it only takes 3 to 5 minutes to prepare.  Then you won’t be put out when your family goes on strike en masse, and refuses to eat it.  OK, I will admit I love these little pamphlet cookbooks, we both do, and buy them by the handfuls, literally.  Sometimes I have been know to give the recipes a go, but I am more than thankful that this was one product that must have bit the dust really early on (I wonder why?  snort).  Then no one was subjected to these tasty recipes included inside:

Not so hotHey, at least I didn’t scan the “yummy” salads on the back.

Well, now that you have had a rest, and hopefully a good laugh, feel free to stand up and go about your business!!  If you haven’t had a chance to follow us on Facebook, make sure you do, as there are more fun things posted there every week, that didn’t make the blog.  Don’t miss out!

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We Light You Up

Well, it’s been an eventful two weeks for me: I helped throw my 80-year-old mother her first ever birthday party, got to reconnect with lots of friends and family, and drove nearly 3500 miles with my sister’s company.  Throw in lots of leaf raking, packing/ unpacking, changes in time zones, changes in altitude and maybe you can see why I’m writing this post Thursday evening.  Thank goodness I have lots of our kinds of finds to help me out, especially a passel of estate sale lamps later on in the post.

Thought I would share my last rose of the year:

Last Rose of summer

It’s a Peace rose, and it didn’t used to have thorns, but now, for some reason it has tons of thorns.  I don’t mind as roses are some of the most divalicious plants in the world.  One of my favorite things I’ve heard about them is, “Roses like lots of water, mainly in the form of sweat”.  Despite thorns, watering, pruning, summer doldrums, they are worth it!  By the way, my vase is a piece of lab glassware called a graduated flask.  I also have Erlenmeyer flasks in different sizes that I use as vases.  I’ve also heard of people using them for barware, which sounds like fun too.

Another lovely thing:

Fab Sugar Bowl

This sugar bowl is as sweet as the sugar it held.  I love the deco shape of the handles–it’s wonderful.  Looking at it now, I wonder why we didn’t buy it as it’s even turning purple.  I think Goodwill had it marked too high; that bothers us much more than a couple of small chips or a tiny crack.  It must have been a special set with its creamer partner.

Wow, we’re not sure what this is, exactly:


Is it a craft fail, a frame, an homage to favorite horses, all three, or none of the above?  I’m not a fan of the protruding horse collar, or the magnifying glass over the hand-drawn horses.  I kind of think it looks like a face, with one eye wearing a monocle.  On top of all the other problems, it stuck out far enough from the wall that it probably did get knocked around quite a bit.  Oh no, Mr. Ed!

I’m pretty sure these two were NOT in The Little Mermaid:

Under the Sea

They were made from resin, so they could have been any color the makers wanted, and these were the colors chosen?  The pink-face fish on the right looks surprised by his ugliness too.  They probably belong on the bottom of a none-to-clean pond to spare the rest of us.

We went to a fun estate sale in September; yes that’s how far behind we are:

Under the Sea

We haven’t been able to keep up with all the things we keep seeing.  We both agree that this summer was a treasure trove of good and bad.  No doubt that the WWII ration book is a treasure.  I don’t think that we can understand how hard it was to get food, gas, tires, fabric, you name it during the war.  It’s a sign of how careful people were with their coupon books that this one still exists.  I hope whomever bought it, gives it a good home.

We saw this pole lamp in the garage:

Pole lamp

I had to take a quick picture since someone had bought it while we were on the opposite side of the garage.  They negotiated a five dollar price for this holdover from the ’60s.  I think that it needed some work, but $5 is a good deal.

How we wish someone had bought these two lamps before we had to see them:

Bad lamps, bad!

They weren’t that well done and certainly weren’t enhanced by their huge size.  I actually like the boy and chicken more than the girl, although I don’t know about the tree stump between his legs that disappears.  The girl has tree roots between her feet, but there isn’t any follow through with a trunk appearing behind her.

We did laugh at this light:

The everything lamp

I kind of liked its ’60s flair, and Kathy loves tassels.  It was huge too as Kathy’s arm was straight out, and it nearly reached the floor.  That makes it about four feet tall by my reckoning.  It would be pretty fab in the right house.

The last find in this illuminating group is this fiberglass shade:

That's some shade

It sure belongs on the desk of a ’50s or ’60s dad.  It was in great shape and the lacing was intact.  The pin stuck in the shade is pretty fun too.  It looks like the cowboy from the Wyoming license plate and University of Wyoming sports teams.  The lamp was just a piece of wood, so thank goodness the shade was awesome!

Neither of us had ever seen a County Fair Party Kit:

State Fair Party Kit

I’m not sure you need a party kit to make a cake, and why would you ever want to make that horse’s head the other little girl is holding?  Plus, they are ignoring the fun things that go on at county fairs–butter carving, pickle judging, and watching the kids show their animals.

We love cooking pamphlets:

Meals at their best

Meals at Their Best is a strange title.  It’s like the meals can choose what they want to be made of and the poor housewives have no choice.  I hope that cake on the cover is nice and moist, because I’m not sure blueberries have enough juice without whipped cream.  I can’t remember if Kathy bought this one, but if she didn’t have it, I bet she did.

This funny chalkware plaque is the last find:

Rainbow ship

I love the shape of the frame; it’s wonderful.  Now lets talk about what’s inside that nice frame.  What is going on with the wild color scheme?  It isn’t historically accurate, AND  looks like it was hit with the ugly stick.  They’re dreaming with that price!

That’s it for this week.  Check by next week to see what we found weeks ago!

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Pumpkin Spice Blog Post

’Tis the season, right?  If I see one more pumpkin spice whatever, I think I will scream.   I think I saw someone advertising pumpkin spice tires the other day.  That might have been creative, or just desperate, like me!  And at least there are plenty of pumpkins in the post; whether they are spicy or not, I will leave to you.

Looks like Disney is cashing in on the Halloween craze:

Disney PumpkinsThis seems only right, as I noticed a web site the other day asking about your scariest movie memory from when you were a child.  It was amazing how many Disney movies have scared the crap out of children.  I suppose your dreams would be safe enough with this trio, and maybe the shoe is on the other foot, considering that ghostly apparition lurking behind them.  Watch out, Mickey!

And another Disney-themed decor item:

Woody Pumpkin KitLooks to me like Woody has put on a bit of weight here.  He is positively round!  Probably too many Pumpkin Spice Lattes.  We noticed this was still firmly in the package.  No matter how hard parents try to get out of carving pumpkins, there is nothing as satisfying as plunging that old knife into a gourd.  I am supremely thankful that those nifty carving saws came into being before the summer intern got to the age of carving.  At least I didn’t lose three years of my life watching him handle a knife.  Nor did I have to try and bribe him with stick-in pumpkin kits.

Those were pretty mild for Halloween, but here we have a real terror:

Screaming Pumpkin Woman Bowl1This is a basket: no, really, look:

Screaming Pumpkin Woman BowlCommercially made, no less.  I don’t think any party would be enlivened by biscuits cradled in this monstrosity.  I know Halloween is supposed to be scary, but give me a break.  I guess we should just be thankful that there are no crafty directions floating around in cyberspace to make your own, even though it has that look.  This is definitely a time when I would love to know what was going on in the designer’s head.  I am betting this was conceived after a good old-fashioned four (pumpkin spice) martini lunch.

Now, for a near miss:

Plastic Pumpkin ClownJack here was really trying to grow up, run away and join the circus.  We are only a cone-shaped hat and some floppy shoes away from having to issue a clown alert.  At this point he still looks mostly harmless, so hopefully someone doesn’t take him home and complete the transformation.  Maybe they could just take him home and fill his head with candy, and make everyone happy.  Splurging on the sugar filling is in this fellow’s future, too:

Zombie Vulture Pinata says Please ask for assistanceWe have to admit to having a good laugh about the buzzard piñata.  In a really warped way, we kinda like him, so we hope someone has a lovely party and gives him a sound whack so he can fulfill his destiny, like a good vulture.

Sometimes we are never quite sure where people are coming from:

The Christmas Ghost looks a little differentAnd before you start, I do know my Dickens, and yes, I know there are Christmas ghosts, but somehow, I just don’t think this is one of them.  At least it is a “simple” pattern for Christmas; wouldn’t want to have to work too hard on it.   We need only add the turkey centerpiece pattern underneath to cover the major fall/winter holidays.  Maybe they buried the turkey in the grave, and he arose as a Halloween ghost to haunt all trick-or-treaters, but misjudged the time, and ended up on Dec. 25th?  Or maybe it’s for those procrastinating crafters who start on time, but somehow their projects are always a month or two late (or like me, a year or two!)

This is about the only time of year I don’t mind rats, but maybe this glamorous creature could change my mind at other times of the year, too:

Fabulous RatThat is one blingy rodent.  I am not sure where it fits in the average holiday decorating scheme, but it would certainly light up a corner, and it is less intimidating that this one:

Crazy Plastic RatHere is the stuff nightmares are made of.  I can just picture him chasing me down a dark alley, paws reaching for me, and sharp teeth coming my way.  Arghhhhh.  OK, wake up now, he is only rubber, and fairly small at that.  Still, for you more traditional decorators, this is the rat for you.

While we are being a bit more scary we found this:

Marcus the CarcusWhile this is a pretty ordinary item, we’ve seen lots of variations on it, we did get a kick out of the name.  We sort of felt like he needed to come with his own engraved headstone, so everyone knew his name.  I might tempted to make one myself, if I owned this.  Maybe that is why he is still in the box?  No mater how you look at it, he was totally ghoul!

Here is another pumpkin creation:

Jack-pumpkin-head.jpgI am pretty sure he is a commercially made decoration as well, but I liked his softly grinning face, and he does at least have the good taste to be wearing a kitty necklace.  I myself have been known to don a kitty or two around Halloween.  Actually, I have to start wearing my Halloween jewelry a good three weeks before the holiday to give it all a turn.

Here are a couple of recent finds:

Happy Haunting FindsVintage Halloween is very scarce, as we haven’t celebrated it for that long in the scheme of things, and many of the early decorations were paper like these.  Finding old stuff is difficult, and old stuff in good shape even harder.  The two pressed paperboard pumpkins on the left are German, and in excellent shape.  The paper lantern has not fared so well, but it is very fragile, so you can understand.  I will have to work on it a bit, but it was worth the time spent diving through stuff at a recent sale.  Thank goodness we have battery-powered candles these days, as with a real flame inside that cardboard and tissue lantern, you can just guess how many went up in smoke.

We hope everything that comes you way on the 31st are treats!  Enjoy the kiddies and fun, and Happy Halloween.

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The Witching Hour

First off, sorry everyone for the false alarm last Wednesday.  I was saving a draft and some how, some way, it (the &@*!% computer) published the unfinished, raw post instead.  I went back and looked at the add post page and saw that the publish and save draft buttons have been reversed, so maybe the computer was doing what I asked it to do.  The only way to get it off the blog was to delete it.  There’s no way I want anyone to read one of my unedited posts!

The air is crisp and cool, the trees are changing or changed, so it must be getting close to one of our favorite holidays.  The big heavyweight holidays are coming; it’s nice to have Halloween as an appetizer.  This time of the year is all about the fun–you don’t have as many family expectations and no presents–that just leaves parties, costumes, and decorations!

This is how one of the local thrift stores decorated their entryway:

ARC Halloween Display

Oh, to be able to decorate with the resources of a thrift store.  I’m sure they have piles of fun clothes, housewares, bits and bobs in the back all ready to be put to good use.  This is quite the display–although I wish they didn’t feel the need for all the signs.  Honestly, people should keep an eye on their kids so they don’t demolish other people’s hard work.

We saw lots of fun pieces to use for costumes:

How busy is my jacket?

I know this jacket doesn’t look as bright as it really was–thank my camera for your reprieve.  However, you can get a taste by looking at the close-up and extrapolating.  We were walking by and just the sleeve grabbed our eyeballs amidst all the other unusual garments hanging there.

fabric close up     busy label

I’m not sure what’s the deal with the zipper near the label.  For goodness sakes, there are buttons all over the front–why do they need zippers too?  If the buttons are just for show, they why didn’t they use prettier ones?  So many questions and no answers.  When I get back to Colorado, I need to try and find this coat and take a second look.

I’m not sure why the store background looks so pink in this picture; even the rhinestones look pink and they weren’t:

Super Duper Sparkler

It’s a super-duper glamorous dress.  With a Zsa Zsa Gabor type swagger you would look fabulous, dahling.  Here’s a close-up of the bodice:

Super Duper Sparkler Close up

Unless you’re a 38DD, you might want to invest in double-sided tape to prevent any loss of modesty.  All of the sequins, rhinestones, and sequins weigh a ton; the potential for finding your bodice around your waist is pretty high.  Of course, that might be what you’re looking for, if so, this dress is for you!  À chacun son … To each his own.

If I were having a Halloween party, this would be my kind of costume:

Don't forget the tail!

You would have to make some ears, I suppose, but you can talk, move, and cook in this getup.  Could you imagine being a hostess all dressed up with panniers, a huge wig, or clown shoes?  I would probably hurt someone wearing clown shoes or panniers.

This pattern was amusing:


We didn’t think the costume themselves were funny; it was the poses of the models.  The guy in the upper right looks more like the Cowardly Lion rather than the King of the Beasts–rahwr.  On the other hand, I think that the little bunny in the lower right corner is darling.

These shoes are NOT darling:

Shoes looking innocuous    Dead Gold fish shoes

They look pretty ordinary from the front, but turn these babies around and it’s another story.  They would work as a mean nurse costume–like Nurse Ratched.  She would let her goldfish die, and then just let it flop around in her fishbowl heels to creep people out.  You could also dress up like a Saturday Night Fever character who was down on their luck.  They couldn’t even keep the fish alive.  What about a Killer Klown costume?  No need to even worry about how a dead plastic fish would fit into that outfit.

This wig package raises more questions than it answers:

Cryptic Wigs, what does that mean

I’m totally confused about how this rather ordinary wig could be considered “Cryptic”.  I guess that name gives it an aura of mystery, but wigs are already a gateway to a whole new you.  I can remember in the 1960s that my mother, who was maybe 30 years old, loving her frosted wig, which made it look like she had gray hair.  I could never understand why she wanted gray hair before her darling daughters gave it to her as teenagers.

I guess this hat simplifies your pirate costume:

Pirate Pete has more than one problem

Maybe they should attach small plastic peg legs, cutlasses, and pirate flags so the hat would be the whole costume.  I think the parrot bursting out of the hat, like an Alien baby out of a chest, takes the pirate hat to a whole new level.  No, I’m not adding a link to THAT scene–it scared me to death!

We’re all out of costume ideas, but if you’re still stuck, here’s a link to some fun projects on Pinterest.

I wanted to end with one of the WTFiest thing we’ve seen in a long time:

What the heck is the life like motion-ette holding     Better look at what Life Like is holding

Okay, I get a tanned Dracula, after all, George Hamilton played him in Love at First Bite.  The hair makes sense too, since it’s really hard to keep your hair looking good when you don’t have a reflection.  Black nails, check, it’s all part of the look.  I should also mention that the way his forearms attach directly to his shoulders is so wrong and creepy.  But, you tell me what that white thing in his hand looks like.  It can’t be what we think it is, because Dracula didn’t need any electrical assistance to enslave women.  I wouldn’t be surprised if some enterprising fraternity has bought this for their Halloween party centerpiece.  Holy Mackerel!!!

We still have more pictures, so tune in next week for another episode of Halloween Horror.

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A Picture’s Worth 99 Cents?

This post is going to start out with a doozy of a true confession.  We like junk, no, wait, you probably already knew that.  Oh well, maybe not such an earth shaker, but we did want to share this photo with you:

99cents worth of fun at GoodwillOur local Goodwill, in its infinite wisdom, has decided to open up the back room to browsing.  We had no idea where to start, but Deb, her two sisters, and I, were up for the challenge.  A lesser quartet might have been defeated by the piles, but for 99 cents an item, how can you go wrong?  After two hours of digging we came up with multiple items of both good and dubious quality, and we had a good time.  There were cute outfits for one sister’s grandkids, and everyone found at least one nifty item to add to their own wardrobe.  Sheer digging heaven.  Now, I might not be up for this every week, but once in a while it fits our bargain-hunting bill.

OK, now on to the regular miscellany.  We were amused to see this placement on the shelves in the front rooms of our thrift:

Wench photobombed by a clownSee the clown lurking in the background.  We are pretty sure where he is looking.  I guess if you flaunt it, they will stare.  Poor girl, she doesn’t have any arms to cover up, even if she were so inclined.  To compound her sins, she is just too darn big and ugly to live in any decent place, so she’s probably doomed to be a trailer trash bust.

This was funny, but we don’t know why anyone would want it:

Norwegian Two SeaterNorwegian Two Seater Dibs on top!Deb called dibs on the top hole, but I can’t think of anyone dumb enough to want the bottom one.  This is one of those things you can substitute any race, creed, or color and offend everyone at once.  Seriously though, do you want this on your coffee table?  And just what sort of conversation are you looking to start?  Better hope that a big handsome hunk named Sven, with muscles on his muscles, doesn’t drop by and see this, or he will drill you into the ground so far, that the bottom hole will be your only choice!

This stroller was kinda cool:

Old Tyme Baby Stroller2We thought it was a little odd that it came with its own umbrella.  We know it’s a good idea to keep those little tots out of the sun, but we doubt they cared much about that when this was made.  We also wonder whose idea it was to give a toddler what amounts to essentially a stick?  You know there are going to be some poked shins on passersby, as well as older sister getting a whack on the head every time Mom’s back is turned.

At least we have a cure for what ails Sis:

Apple Cider Vinegar is a cure allShe’s not pudgy, just a little under-tall, and this book is here to help her!  OK, I am a big fan of cider vinegar, and I know it’s good for a lot of things, but I think they are reaching here.  Maybe you should just clean the bathroom and then go to the kitchen and make a salad with it.  Eat enough of those, and I guess you would be thinner, but I might blame the lettuce and not the vinegar, or maybe the exercise from cleaning the house.

These cracked us up:

Mannequins?I guess we should have been braver and asked what the intended use was, but we had already made up our minds that they were crash test dummy mannequins.  Sporting the latest styles for all your headless, safety minded, duct tape wrapped figures.  At least the male is personable; see him waving at you?  We bet they spent hours outside the Mythbusters studio just waiting for Buster to make an appearance.  Hope he came through with an autograph, and they weren’t just invited in to make an explosive appearance.

Sometimes we just have to take photos of things to keep ourselves from buying them:

Camel DecanterI had a heck of a time walking away from the camel tea set.  We have never seen anything quite like it.  All the tails were handles, and large camel poured the tea from his mouth.  (That is probably better than what usually comes from a camel’s mouth.  They always spit at me.)  There were no marks, but we were betting Japan, and fairly early as the quality was good.  Between not being able to figure out why I needed a camel tea set, and the price of it, I was able to leave it alone, but we did take a photo for posterity.

Deb posted a pic on Facebook, of a charming beaded purse she bought.  At the same sale, the lady was selling off quite a bit of her doll collection:

Doll Collection for sale2There were oodles of lovely dolls from many of her and her mother’s travels.  Neither of us could think of a single thing we needed any of these for, as one of these days our houses will probably explode, if we move another doll through the door.   We did think our readers would get a kick out of seeing how cute they all were, though.  We wished each and every one of these sweet dollies a good chance of finding a new home.  We don’t know if it happened, but we would like to think they didn’t end up in one of the bins in the first photo of this post.

As a preview for our next couple of posts, featuring my all-time favorite holiday, may we present Frankenduck:

Frankenduck“It’s alive, it’s alive!”  Well, no, not really, this poor fellow looks to be pretty dead in the water.  We have no idea where this crafter was headed, but they should have taken a big ole U-turn at the first opportunity.  We can not think of one single thing that could make him any better, other than a quick nudge off the shelf.  Apparently, no one else could either, cause last time we looked, he was still skulking about on the shelf.

Deb is off to celebrate her dear mother’s 80th birthday for a couple of weeks, but never fear, we always have a few things saved up, and waiting in the wings just for you!!  If you haven’t followed us here or on Facebook, please do; we would love to see our numbers get a boost, and you can help!

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We Keep Stumbling Upon Those Friday Finds

Indian Summer is in full swing here in northern Colorado; I’m picking tomatoes faster than ever now.  Guess it’s a “better late than never” scenario.  This weekend is supposed to be super nice and sunny–hopefully that means more garage sales.

Last Friday was anything but nice and sunny.  It was misting and cool, but we still found a few garage sales being held in actual garages.  Of course we still went to Goodwill; while there we saw an unusual visitor:

Mamas gonna buy me a mag pie

The poor magpie had picked up something on the sidewalk in front of the open door and then flew right inside.  Once in the store, it seemed to panic and was flying up and down the aisles looking for a way out.  Unfortunately, the doors are much lower than the ceiling, so it didn’t look like the magpie was willing to fly low enough to get outside.  It ended up perched on a Women’s wear sign.  Of course this happened on a day when the CEO of Goodwill and the area manager were visiting the store.  Hopefully, someone called animal control so they could come out with their net and help the magpie get back outdoors.  They are really smart birds (related to crows) but with all the windows, commotion, and people around, it’s no wonder this one panicked.

It’s fun to look at the thrift store clothing around this time of the year.  They frequently save unusual items for the Halloween costume crowd.  I think this pair of shoes qualifies:

Baa Baa Black Sheep Shoes   Baa Baa Black Sheep Shoes2

There’s a lot going on here–white sheep, black sheep, flowers, studs on the heels, and then polka dots and skulls on the inner lining.  I’m pretty sure I couldn’t walk on those heels on the best of days, without all the distraction, er decorations causing me to stare at my shoes (probably singing “Baa Baa Black Sheep”) instead of where I was trying to walk.

We saw these comic books and were dragged back to bad Seventies TV series:

Comic Books

I don’t remember Valley of the Dinosaurs for the very good reason that it was only on for three months, September 1974 to December 1974.  Unfortunately for Valley of the Dinosaurs, its start coincided with the Land of the Lost premier; V.o.t.D. never recovered, while L.o.t.L. ran for three years.

On the other hand, I remember Irwin Allen’s Land of the Giants all too well.  It actually began in 1968, so I wasn’t too busy being a teenager to watch TV with the family.  Who could forget the giant hands reaching for one of our heroes, the giant pencils on the desks, or the convenient pipes leading to wherever our intrepid band wanted to go?

We both thought this doll swing was adorable:

Doll Swing

It was too small for any but the smallest of infants–that’s why we think it was for dollies.  Also, it looks a little too rickety for infant use, although we’ve seen enough scary baby stuff from the ’60s and ’70s to absolutely rule out it being a baby swing.  Any who, it was really cute, but we don’t have baby dolls, and of course Goodwill wanted more than we were willing to pay to have it clutter up our homes.  We told ourselves that it was better that it goes to a child to play with, instead of two middle-aged “grownups”.

It was a day of kind of cool things, like this thermos:

Featherflite Thermos

You would be stylin’ for sure hauling this baby out to the park.  It weighed a ton; realistically, it should have come with a set of wheels to prevent herniated discs while carrying it to your picnic table.  Dad would be encouraging the kids to drink up to lighten the load going back to the car.

You knew it was too good to last.  We were bound to see something, or somethings, painful:

Flower bowls   Flower close up

It always amazes me how someone could mess up flowers.  I’m probably a little more critical than most of flower decorations; I spend a lot of time in the garden tending my own, and so I’m pretty familiar with how they’re SUPPOSED to look.  I’m hoping that the center flower is a purple poppy, and not a pansy–it’s one of the biggest flowers in the arrangement.  The fact that I’m not sure if it’s a poppy (oops, I originally typed poopy) or pansy tells you about the quality of the papier-mache decoration.

Then, there is this cat:

I uh just accident;y peed in your shoe

I’m not sure what she did, but it was bad!  If she were mine, I would be looking in my shoes before slipping them on, or check out my bed before jumping in.  Better be safe than sorry, in this situation.  Her attitude would be, “You were warned, it’s not my fault!”

We just felt sorry for this guy, once we figured out what it was:

Just Harpoon me already

I’m sure Mr. Seal is just thinking, “What did I do to deserve this?”  He’s been punished enough; I should have bought him and put him outside, in some far corner, where he could live out his days in privacy.

Here’s a whole pile of bad:

Seventies furniture

I’ve never understood people who had those settees, or whatever you call them, for company to sit on while visiting.  They aren’t comfortable at all …  ohhh, it all becomes clear; how diabolical!  The only thing missing are stale cookies and pucker-up lemonade.

This clearly does not belong in my house:

Korkies Chore Board    Korkies Chore Board back

I hate to be reminded of all the stuff I haven’t gotten done yet!  By the end of the month, my board would resemble a ghillie suit made of paper slips!

I smell a rat:

Earring Holder

Well, he could be a mouse, but either way I’m not having it in my home.  It’s mouseapalooza time at my house right now.  It’s getting cool at night and we have a dog door going out to a pen, so it’s an open invitation to all the mousies out there to come on in!  In the past, we had our very own personal fox living in some brush out back.  He was a welcome tenant as he earned his keep mousing; who cared if he helped himself to a few berries, and garden goodies from time to time, as well as stealing shoes to play with.  Sadly, we no longer have foxes, and now have lots, and lots of mice.  We set humane traps in the garage and haul them to natureal areas to release them into the wild.  If we start early enough, we don’t get meeces in the house.  Our dog, Koko, is useless as a mouser; I keep trying to interest him in mice, but it’s a no-go so far.  My other chihuahua, Xena, loved to mouse.  She might not have caught them, but she sure chased them and at least I knew there was a problem.

Finally, a couple of signs that pretty much sum up our philosophy of life:

Words to live by     Works for us

Have a wonderful weekend!  I’m hoping to go out and kick some leaves while walking–it keeps you young at heart.

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