Another Day in the Trenches

Well, we managed to get in a bit of shopping before Deb hopped off to New York; betting there will be a story or two there, so stay tuned.  I took my stuffy head along and we bravely had at it.  I am happy to say that as of this writing the antibiotics have done their job and I am as human as I usually am this time of year.  Around here I don’t know what is worse, the pollen, the cotton, or the 95 degree days that snuck up on us this past week.  Someone pointed out that they sure enjoyed those three days of Spring stuck between the Winter and the Summer.  Well, that’s weather in Colorado.  At least the weather is bringing out the garage sales, you know what that means: more bad stuff!

How about a giant bench for your abode?

We couldn’t tell if it was a bed, a bench or a fainting couch.  We know we wanted to faint at the site of that upholstery.  Not that the rest of it was anything to write home about, but in comparison, it seemed sort of tame.  Maybe if they leave it out in the sun long enough it will fade to just barely bilious yellow.

Why is it that the Last Supper is fair game for every amateur “artist” in the entire world?

Deb’s camera couldn’t even manage to focus on this, it was so bad.  I would like to think it was someone’s poor attempt at a ceramics project, but I am probably wrong, and it was supposed to be something awe-inspiring, and moving.  I think that is why the real one is fading.  Every time someone makes a bad copy, it loses a little more paint.  Save the da Vinci, stop copying it!  And while you are at it, if everyone would just take a hammer to at least one of these, think how much better the world would be.

While we are attempting “art”:

For heaven’s sake, just go buy a Hummel, if you must be over-sweetened.  I do remember when they made these.  You took several cards that were the same, and cut out details to make the whole thing 3-D.  I mean they did an OK job, but it is time to head to the recycling bin with the results.

Well, here it comes, something we like:

I didn’t say it made, sense, just that we liked it.  I give full credit to who ever came up with the idea of making monster feet from insulating foam.  Here is another view so you can see how clever it is:

The makers of Great Stuff are missing the boat not using this as a marketing ploy.  Martha Stewart should jump right on it.  There may be other monster parts just waiting to be drawn from those little red and yellow cans.  They should hold a contest!

And then we come down to earth with a thud:

Plastic flowers, cherubs, and gilding—what more could you ask for?  It could all be yours for the princely sum of 10¢.  We think it was over-priced.  I would like to think that at the end of the day, there was no one crazy enough to drag this home, but I am most likely wrong.

Head vases are usually a good thing in a kitschy sort of way.  This one is not:

Oh yes, it really is a vase, or a planter:

Nothing says get well soon, like a creepy dolly filled with a creeping vine.  You have to get better just so you can get up enough steam to make a fast trip to the trash can with your least favorite gift.

While we are being creeped out, how ’bout some zombie kittens:

I don’t know who got to them, but they look rather possessed to me.  The only way it could be worse is with glow-in-the-dark paint.  Of course then it is just like tripping over your real live kitty in the dark with those glowing eyes.  Oh wait, does that mean my cat is possessed at night, too?  Arghhhh.  That must be why he bites my toes when they come out from under the covers.  We could not figure out why the eyes were this odd color.  Maybe the eye painter had too many beers the night before and was too hung over to come in and do his job.  Still don’t know how they made it past quality control.

We go into Tuesday Morning pretty regularly just to check for dolls and craft stuff, and we can’t resist looking at garden stuff too.  Not sure why yoga animals are in but it was either that or wonder why they were hanging out on the street corner under the lamp.

Either way it looks like trouble.  You will either have to bail them out of jail, or get them to a chiropractor.  It’s going to cost you no matter what, so I guess just say no to goofy bunnies, or wait for the real ones to invade your garden.  [Deb here, and I wanted to point out the bunnies on the bottom shelf with BUTTERFLY wings!  WTH??  Although, I have to admit that angel wings wouldn’t be any better!]

We did find an example of what NOT to give dad for Father’s Day:

Seriously, as dull as a tie is, a picture of a bunch of ties is even more boring.  This is not in the least decorative, executive, or curative, so give it a miss.  Take your dad a hug and some cookies; he will like it much more.

Wishing a Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful dads out in the world!

 

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Danger, Women Shopping

There is quite a bit going on this week.  Kathy still isn’t feeling great, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t getting stuff done.  I’m on the cusp of another sister trip; this time we’re going to New York and taking a couple of my sister’s friends along for the ride.  We’re only going to be in town from Wednesday to Sunday morning, but we’re going to take Rudyard Kipling’s advice and “… fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds’ worth of distance run, …”  but our goal is to see the sights in a short time; we have NO interest in becoming men!  If I’m lucky, I’ll have enough pictures to do another travel post, Second Hand Roses’ style.

In the meantime, I’m trying to get my IFDC table gifts finished, gardening done, pants hemmed, and exercise got.  The good thing is that I’m working on the blog post Monday night, with G & T in hand, which is so not me—working ahead that is, not the gin and tonic.

In the mean time, our sense of the ridiculous wasn’t crimped by Kathy’s indisposition.  We saw things and laughed, like every week, even at the clown that is coming up later.

Let’s start with this:

We lurv to do our grocery shopping at garage sales.  The good news is that there are expiration dates on the cans; the bad news is that I’m suspicious about selling canned goods at a garage sale.  If you’re moving, why don’t you donate them to the Food Bank, or give them to a friend or neighbor?  We both looked at each other and said, “Hell no!”  The only thing worse would be to buy food at a thrift store.  On the other hand, I fished a box of coffee filters out of a free box because they fit my coffee maker.  So, my standards aren’t set in stone.

We thought that this little flower planter was kind of funny:

Actually, both kinds of funny—ha ha, and strange.  Someone went to a lot of trouble to recreate one of the scariest household appliances I’ve ever been around.  When these beasts were going and young me was running around, the ladies of the house yelled at me to keep away, “because of your long hair”.  I was pretty scared of wringer washers and not quite sure what they wanted with my hair.  I’m still leery of them, even if they beat a washboard hands down.  So, why would I want a wooden replica in my house?  I’m kind of surprised that Kathy didn’t buy it since she likes wooden things and unusual planters. ( Kathy here:  Even I have standards! )

Last week I made several new friends of the canine variety:

They were all interested in my feet, but otherwise good dogs.  I envy people who can just let their dogs hang out front and not have to worry about them running off.  This guy was looking at me, and then caught a whiff of my shoes the minute I tried to take his picture.  Then he ran off to greet someone else, dang it.  He had the cutest face.

This sentiment might be the origin of the #MeToo movement:

I doubt that it was really all that great in the 1970s, and now it’s just tone deaf!  The best thing that could happen to this figure is for it to hit the trash can.  D.O.M., I’m not sorry that your time is over.

This was a mystifying thing:

I thought that hot coffee was what a thermos and/or travel mug is made for.  The wording on the instruction manual lists the places where a 12-volt coffee maker might be handy: Motels, Office, Students (not school), and apparently, your car!  It says, “[something] cord sets and dashboard safety brackets inside.”  No wonder it looks brand new; even the owner didn’t have the nerve to brew coffee on the dashboard while tooling down the road.

Why, why!!!

Why would someone keep this since 1995 only to get rid of it now?  Twenty three years later!  I think it was in the free bin, but that doesn’t help much.  I was kind of hoping that Emmett Kelly clown stuff was safely in the past since he died in 1979.  Who authorized the plan that Emmett Kelly, Jr. could also be a clown?  His legacy and merchandise lives on to alarm me in my twilight years, dang it!

The lady selling this also had a dog, but not the friendly kind:

I just wanted the drone for my dolls to play with; I didn’t want to pay for something that actually worked.  Both the seller and the dog seemed disappointed that I didn’t buy it.

Well, thank goodness this isn’t available in stores.  I would never willingly buy any kind of lizard:

The description on the package was pretty over the top.  Just imagine the “Shamwow” guy saying:

Dust Lizard™ attaches to most any vacuum and adjusts to any position.  Now you can clean places you could never clean before with a vacuum: delicate electronic, tedious air vents, tiny tile crevices, crumbs from corners and dirt from sliders.  Even those expensive sculptures and intricate chandeliers are easier to clean with Dust Lizard™.  Order yours today.

How did people ever clean before this awesome invention?  No one could ever get those stinking crumbs out of corners!  Huzzah, Dust Lizard™!

I took a picture of this because what vintage Barbie collector doesn’t recognize her scale?

Too bad this one isn’t permanently set to 110 pounds!  I would have bought it just for the ego boost.

Just to make sure we had enough pictures, we ducked into ARC.  Right off the bat, we wondered why granny doll was locked in a display case?

Honestly, no one is going to steal her!  You probably would have to beg or bribe someone to take her off your hands.  We frequently are amazed and amused by what is put away because it’s so valuable.

So, what kind of vase would you use for your paper roses?

A folded paper magazine vase, silly!  They didn’t even spray paint it an obnoxious color, or decorate it with rickrack, lace, or rhinestones.  We still totally get why it’s at the thrift store, though.

That’s it for this week’s installment of Kathy and Deb’s Big Shopping Adventures.  Stay tuned for another crazy craft post, and maybe a trip report or two as the month goes on.

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No Art At All

I am going to start off by mentioning that I am unusually crabby today.  We managed to get the Summer Intern graduated from high school and had the gigantic party in the back yard with nary a rain drop or hailstone to be had.  Then he passed his driver’s license test and we made it through the DMV within ten minutes.  At this point I was contemplating buying a lottery ticket, but Mother Nature took care of that string of good luck by promptly giving me the cold from Hell.  I have moved on from being a sniffling mass, to having a stuffed-up head that feels like it is the size of a beach ball.  I still have a lot of things to do on my spring to-do list, plus a bunch of sewing for several events, and all I really want to do is lie in the bathtub in steam so thick you would need a fog horn to locate me.  All this is to say that the following items are going to make me grouchier than normal!

Let’s start out with a quote from Oscar Wilde.  “Bad art is a good deal worse than no art at all.”  We heartily agree, and most of the following need to be replaced by blank spots on the walls they once graced.

Not that I have anything in particular against Mickey, but really?

I thought velvet was reserved for Elvis, the Last Supper, and matadors.  I guess the “artist” in the velvet painting sweatshop was feeling particularly jaunty that day and this is the result.  No trip to Tijuana would be complete without this, cause I am pretty sure it never graced the shops of Disneyland—I don’t care how close it is to Mexico.

You know, I have a deep dark secret: I like to embroider.  I’ve probably completed a few of these in my time, but I had the decency to leave them in boxes.  I didn’t frame them and give them to some poor relative who would feel obligated to hang them on the wall:

To be fair, the colors are kinda fun, and if I saw a picture with that perky cheerful pattern in real life, I might be tempted to snatch it up.  Heck, I might even put daisies in it, but I wouldn’t even take a photo for Facebook, never mind immortalizing it in yarn.

Warning: clown ahead.

Maybe I should have warned you about this one, too:

Ugh.  I really dislike snakes.  Well, snakes themselves not so much, but I need them to give me a warning.  If every snake hiding in my yard would just wave a little flag with their tail to let me know where they are, instead of sneaking up on me, out of the blue, then we would all be a lot happier.  This picture should probably do the same.  I think this was made just to see how many times it would make the owner’s wife jump out of her skin as she came around the corner of the den and ran into it.  I would rather just see the leaves sans snake, but of course that is how I am in real life.  They sure went to a lot of trouble with the frame, too.  A lot of work for a wall that should, again, be blank.

OK, I warned you:

The small text at the bottom reads “Truman Band Boosters, April Frolics”.  I don’t care how much you frolicked; how drunk would you have to be to agree to take this home?  It’s blue and rather gelatinous looking, although it was just shiny plastic, but I think they are going to have to change the tag to about $50.00.  They pay you, and hope it goes away and gets exploded in some teen-aged chemistry experiment.  I am just glad that he is not looking directly at me, as that would increase the yuck factor exponentially.  I do also have to mention that the clown and Mickey were at the same sale.  Do you think there is enough money saved up for that child’s lifetime trips to the psychiatrist?

I will have to give credit where it is due; the same sale yielded this mid-century ashtray stand:

Of course, to balance that out, we have the salad stand behind it.  The ashtray had some rather cool lines to it:

Makes you wonder what the ashtray looked like that came with it.  I would probably re-purpose it as a plant stand, but it was a little small, so it was a lot of work for one tiny plant.

We ran out of garage sales kinda early that day, so we had to hit up a thrift store, too.  While there, we found some more “art”.  It was that kind of day.

Being children of the ’60s/’70s we both had to admit to thinking that these were cute:

I am pretty sure I had a least one of the kittens done by this same artist, and I thought it was delightful.  Of course, I was ten; what did I know?  Deb might have dragged the poodle home, even though there is not an ounce of space on her walls (they are covered in GOOD art), but she couldn’t bring herself to break up the set.

We also agreed whole-heartedly with this sign:

After some of the things we had seen that morning, we might have even needed to rescue a couple of bottles.  Just call us the heroes of the moment.

One more pic of some fun stuff before we sign off.  I am sure we have admitted here before our penchant for fabric.  All we can say on our behalf is that we don’t have as much as some folks, so imagine our delight when we saw all this:

I only bought three pieces, and I promised to share with Deb.  See what a good girl I am.  Now, if I just felt well enough to go sew.

Well, I am off to go make another cup of tea, and see if I can clear my head a bit.  Just be grateful that I didn’t write this yesterday, as it would have made no sense at all.  As it is, it just barely makes it to coherent, so forgive me, and send a box of Kleenex my way.

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New Beginnings

It’s the season of rebirth, new beginnings, if you will.  In less than a month it will be summer.  The Summer Intern graduated from high school, not that we’re surprised, but he’s beginning a new chapter and so is Kathy.  And, I’m starting over in my yard after a horrible hailstorm Tuesday.  Luckily, the damage passed Kathy by, with the graduation party and all, but my house must have been near the epicenter.  We got two inches of hail and one and a half inches of rain in about 30 minutes.  At first I was bummed because things were looking so pretty, and now they aren’t.  But, it’s all a matter of perspective.  Now I’m telling myself that every ending is a new beginning.  Yeah, that feels better!

Here are a couple of hail pictures:

This is the start of the storm, looking out my front window.  I was pretty worried because some of the hail looked to be the size of a quarter.  Then it downsized to pea-sized hail, which is so much less damaging.  This is the scene in my backyard, the NEXT morning, about 9;30am:

I had to shovel the hail away from the siding on the back of the house.  There were still small piles of hail this morning in the shade.  That’s two days later!

We went garage saling Friday, for the last time with my parents.  They had fun pointing out blog fodder for me, and we saw some doozies.

My dad was particularly amused by this odd accretion of junque:

What a strange combination of office supplies and a plastic, wearable elephant trunk.  I was so tempted to buy it for Dad so he could exasperate the TSA on his flight home the next day.  Then sanity struck, and I decided that an 81 year old shouldn’t agitate those with the power to make him miss his plane.

This just doesn’t sound like a good idea:

I’m not a huge sushi fan, so shooting it out of a bazooka works for me!  That sushi does look really well rolled, so maybe it’s a useful gadget.  Five bucks does seem a bit much, though.

There are several funny (ha-ha and peculiar) things about this box:

First off, how are these rocks “lucky”?  (B.H. points out that there isn’t a lucky on the Post-it, but I swear I remember them being called lucky by the sellers.)  Eyes and straw hats doesn’t equal cute or lucky.  Maybe I should have plunked a buck down for the luck to prevent the hail; that would have been a real test if my house wasn’t hailed on, but the neighbors were.  But then, I counted up the lucky rocks and realized that at 5¢ each, it’s a better deal to buy them all for 65¢ and spending a dollar wouldn’t be all that lucky.

Normally we would save this for a Christmas post, but it’s needed now:

I just love the picture; it looks like Santa is thinking, “Dang, I still got it!”  It worries me that there are directions on how to clean the beard and eyebrows.  I have a hint—take the beard off before eating or drinking!  Or, if you’re sweating that much, maybe you aren’t cut out to be Santa.

We went to Who Gives a Scrap? and were smacked in the face by this:

Oh, Grandma, why did you have to use up all your scraps on one project?  One of everything but taste should be the tag on this one.  There are enough trimmings on this one hat to make several ugly hats.  Nothing good comes from using lace, ribbon, and silk flowers.

I have one other random picture.  Loveland, CO has a great sculpture garden, Benson Sculpture Garden.  It’s a great place to wander around in a beautiful setting:

It’s one of the top places to take visitors, right after garage sales and thrift stores!

That’s it for this week.  I mailed the cooking pamphlets to Stephanie and Thelinda.  Nilsa, I need you to email me your address so I can get yours mailed and off my to-do list.

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Running on Empty

It’s getting to be that time of year.  Around our school we call it “March, April, Mayhem”.  The summer intern is graduating from high school this year, and the party is at my house.  Not sure why I volunteered for that, but it means that I am frantically doing yard work, and generally running around trying to get ready.  Between that and Deb going out to visit her family, there has not been a whole lot of time for shopping, so the photo pool is a bit low, but never fear, we always have a few things in reserve, so we will blog away.  Wouldn’t want our loyal readers to go without their fix.

First up, we are so happy it is spring.  We have had just the right spring for all the trees to do this:

Isn’t it glorious?  No snow or cold snaps, so the fruit should be plentiful this year.  (I am saying that while knocking on wood, as last year for our school’s graduation, we had eight inches of heavy wet snow.  Mother Nature doesn’t always play fair.)

Deb was visiting one of our local garden centers this past week, and got a kick out of these signs:

   

Good thing they clarified, it’s been a while since most folks have had botany!

Not everyone visits our Facebook page, so I though I would share this here, as it is such a cool story.  Found this gigantic pin at a sale a few weeks ago.  The horns are almost five inches across, so it is really a statement piece:

Not sure where to wear it, other than Cheyenne Frontier Days, the Greeley Stampede, or the Stock Show, none of which I attend on a regular basis, but I had to have it.  After doing some research, turns out the pin was made by a company called Elzac, and sells in the $150 to $200 range.  Even better, the founders of Elzac are none other than Ruth and Elliot Hander, Barbie’s “parents” and the founders of Mattel.  Not a bad $5.00 find.

Guess we will continue on with a few more dolly-related photos.  I probably need to apologize for this one in advance.  It might compete with some creepy clown dolls, here we have a creepy Grandma doll:

At 10¢, I feel she is still wildly overpriced.  Is is just me, or does her face look suspiciously like the one they use for Santa?  I don’t even think it is Mrs. Claus!

We were amused by this entire table of Trolls:

They were trying to pawn them off as vintage, and while I agree they are a bit older, there were much older ones yet.  Did you know they even made patterns for the Troll dolls in the ’60s?  At least these were bright-colored and sort of fun.  Deb had to buy one of the teeny tiny ones for her fashion dolls.  Mine had to go without, as I felt they would be happier that way.

I am having a hard time deciding if this is a fail, or just not to my taste:

While it is nicely made, it still falls on the scale of being sweet enough to give you cavities in ALL your teeth.  Perhaps in the right little girl’s room, but she had better like pink and lace.  I think I prefer just a plain old Sun Bonnet Sue quilt.

Still discussing things that could go either way, we have this owl, I think:

It just sort of made me nervous staring at me from the display rack.  Maybe it’s because it has a rather long beak.  It gives me the idea of some disfigured monster just waiting to peck at me.  Could also be because it is just the face removed from any bodily contact.  Of course, a body might have been even scarier.  What could they have done with the claws?  Glad it is not hanging around a corner somewhere just waiting to surprise me.

As we are craft failing at the moment—brace yourself:

Oh, good grief.  I am going to hope that they were color blind.  At least if you got buried in an avalanche of snow, they could spot you through the whiteness.  Actually, the kicker was the tag:

Not only is it a WestREN Sunrise hat, it is supposed to keep you warm and STYLISH.  Well, I am going to give it warm.  Personally, I think that washing it in bleach might be the best solution available.

At the same sale as the above nightmare Grandma, we found this shelf of “stuff”:

Actually, if you expanded this shelf to the entire garage, you would get a pretty good idea of what the whole sale looked like.  It was an estate sale, but I think the best solution would have been a huge bonfire.  At least that would have been useful.  You could roast marshmallows, assuming you could see through the smoke from the smoldering plastic that was the grandma doll and the phony pink roses.

At another sale, we saw this:

Why are Japanese Tooth Brushes any different than our toothbrushes, and who needs a picture to show them that?  What’s more, even if you have said picture, why would you put it on your wall?  This is someone who was so desperate for bathroom wall art that this was the solution?  Go find yourself a plaster fish and some bubbles, and at least be amused by what you hang in there.

Nearby we saw these:

The flower pot should give you the scale.  OK, if you had the entire chess set, I could see this being vastly amusing for your patio, but two random pawns really don’t help out anything.  The kings, queens, rooks or bishops are much more decorative, and in your flower beds these just beg the question “why” and not much else.  We need to really help this person out with their decorating.  Of course, they did put this stuff out to sell, so maybe they got a new copy of Better Homes and Gardens and are trying again.

We wanted to announce the winners of our cooking pamphlet contest:

Nilsa
Thelinda
Stephanie G.

If you could email us at: thesecondhandroses@gmail.com with your addresses, I will get the pamphlets in the mail.  Thanks to all those who entered!

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Getting My Garage Sale Kicks on M-15

For those of you not in the know, M-15 is a north-south state highway in the lower peninsula of Michigan.  It runs right through the small town I grew up in, Davison.  So imagine my delight when my sisters told me that the annual M-15 garage sales were happening May 3-5, right at the end of my visit to the relatives.  The garage sales run along a 60 mile stretch of M-15, so even I was all garage saled out by the end.

The sales were slated to start unofficially on Thursday, when it started raining, really hard.  But all those May showers really brought on the flowers, including this tulip tree in my sisters’ neighborhood:

  

They are in the Magnolia family and are hardy.  My sisters say that the blooming can be a bit spotty, but when they are out, it’s absolutely gorgeous!

The problem with garage saling on state highway is that it’s a bit disconcerting to stop along a busy road, with a narrow shoulder while cars barrel by at 55-plus mph.  We garage salers aren’t afraid of a little danger in pursuit of a treasure.

The first thing that required a picture was this set of bookends:

   

Well, since I’m not running the Library at Alexandria in my house, and don’t have any exceptionally heavy books, they seemed like a bit of overkill.  The plaster had seen better days because the head of one of the strapping lads had been broken off.  He just doesn’t seem so tough with such a serious injury.

It’s hard to know where to start with this table of “goodies”:

There wasn’t a thing on it that I would drag home.  I suspect that most of it would fit the decor of an elderly woman who liked frilly, ladylike things around her.  I guess that the stool in the back is just fine, and the horse is kind of cool, but the vases are an eyesore and those old-timey wall plaques are not my thing.  They were clay, so they could be technically used for skeet shooting and so be useful for once in their long life.

These are supposedly traditional Korean masks:

I found the explanation in the upper left hand of the frame pretty amusing and uninformative:

The Mask in korea are called as Tal, Talbagaji, kwangdae and Choraengi etc. and are used to put on the face.  There is the cloth attached to them to clover the back of the head.  The particular of the korea mask play are not made for the individuals but they are made for the Community that the audience and the players could enjoy the plays together.

I copied this as closely as possible, including capitalization and spelling.  How do the masks allow the audience and players to “enjoy the plays together” ?  Why isn’t Korea capitalized?  Why do we care if the back of the head is clovered?  Very mysterious; if I were a better person, I would look this up on the internet and explain it to you instead of asking questions.

I did see some old cool, and not that cool things.  This is the not-cool thing:

If you’re going to decorate a cooler with tartan, why not choose one with better colors?  I went to the University of Michigan, so I’m okay with those colors, we call them maize and blue, but they’re not what I want on my cooler.  What about a lovely blue and green tartan, or maybe even a traditional red one?  That brown lid isn’t helping either!

Okay, I really liked this picnic basket:

  

The Hawkeye Basket Refrigerator is such a cool idea, and was really nicely executed.  You were meant to fill the lidded metal container with ice to keep your deviled eggs cold enough not to kill you.  The paint on this one is attractive, but I don’t think it’s original.  I’ve looked at quite a few pictures on the internet, and some old black and white advertisements—none of those baskets were decorated.  I’ve also looked at prices on the internet, and this basket is at the high end of the price range; the fact that it’s not in original condition is a problem.  Unless you really love it, and then it doesn’t matter what the price is as long as you can afford it.

The same sale had this old egg crate:

   

The wood had a wonderful patina, and the original paperboard dividers were still present inside.  The lady was in a dealing mood, so I did buy this.  I love old wooden things and it seemed like a no-brainer and a bargain.

I have one final thing to show you:

It’s a metal fountain with a glass topper.  I don’t hate it, but there is a lot going on.  At first glance, it looks like the dolphins are trapped under ice, which is pretty morbid for a patio table.  I really think that you need to live on the ocean for it to be allowed on your deck.  What do you think?

Don’t forget that the cooking pamphlet drawing will be tonight after 7 pm MDT:

    

If you’re interested in one of any of these pamphlets, just leave a comment here or on Facebook.  If you have a preference, mention that in your comment.  Good luck!

Also, we want to wish all the moms out there a Happy Mother’s Day this Sunday.

For the first time in a long time, I get to spend Mother’s Day with my mother.  It’s wonderful!

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Getting Grumpy

Ah yes, the joys of Spring in Colorado.  We are going on two days straight of rain, and not to whine, but we have now had over two inches of it.  Don’t get me wrong, “but we need the moisture” is Colorado’s unofficial motto, and we had a pretty dry Winter.  We really do need it, but I just wish Mother Nature could dole it out in smaller parcels.  Say a half to three-quarter inches at a time, instead of giving it to us all in one batch and then forgetting to rain for the next two months.  Add to that, I am going on week three of shopping on my own while Deb is gallivanting around with her family.  Yep, call me grumpy.  I may be crabby, but I do have a batch of things to either make you irritable too, or make you laugh; hopefully the latter.

Brace yourself; we start off with scary art:

From head on , it looks like it might be a kinda cute seal or something.  The sideways view is a bit creepier:

We think it is supposed to be some sort of mask, but I am thinking it was just a waste of raw materials.  I would expect the eyes to start glowing around midnight, and then what kind of fresh hell would start after that is anybody’s guess.  If you picked this up at the thrift store, be prepared for the scary music to start in the back ground.  Listen to the audience and put it down!

Next up, a couple of craft fails:

The concept of these bed dolls eludes me.  What is wrong with a teddy bear on your bed?  Who wants these faded belles hanging around?  This one has a rather bad case of jaundice to go with her other problems.  Nothing like old cheap plastic to turn yellow at the drop of a slowly falling hat, but at least her face matches her golden hair and dress.  If red is not your color, how about a nice bride?

Well, she isn’t yellow.  On the other hand, I think she is wearing an ENTIRE skein of yarn on that dress.  As Deb says, “it has one of everything, except taste”.  It might even take up enough space to make your dog go find another place to sleep, or he might just eat it, make a tummy sacrifice, and hope for a more elegant replacement.

While we are talking dogs: poodle candle, anyone?

This canine was almost a foot tall, so that is some candle.  While the design isn’t too horrid, what happens as you burn it?  It would take you years to go through a candle this size (unless you took aim at it with a flamethrower!) and in the meantime you would feel like the worst sort of felon as you tortured this poor pooch to death.  Melting head, eyes and nose, flashback to the melting faces scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Yep, stuff of nightmares.

On the other hand, we can all be happy with a little DDT in our yards:

Tell me, does this woman look just a teensy bit maniacally joyful as she has at those bugs on the roses?  I’m a gardener and I get it, but still, I wouldn’t turn my back on her.  She may be a Stepford Wife as well, for all we know.  Maybe moving is the only option.

I probably should give you a break and show you something fun:

This was a near thing to me bringing it home.  It says Kitsch with a capital K in all the best ways.  It’s large, shiny, and lights up.  What more could you want?  Although, I do understand there were some of these that were heaters too.  It had one sail loose and they wanted $30, so it saved me from an embarrassing conversation with my hubby, and figuring out a way to sell it again.  I think I could probably succumb to a collection of TV lamps, but they are large, so it’s not a good idea, and how many TVs would you need to display them?  I have enough trouble getting the family away from the boob tube, plus these days, there is not a lot of room on top of them!

Protected in the same case as the TV lamp, I spotted this:

Really?  I would have slapped that puppy out on the shelves, loosened a pin, and hoped the whole thing collapsed in a fortunate heap.  Fifteen dollars seems a bit much to pay for lead poisoning as well.  If you were not very good at making wine, this might be the set for you.  Your guests would be blinded by the glitter and might not notice the vinegar in their cup.  Better yet, go buy some cheap wine, put it in a nice glass and pass this by.

A couple of weeks ago, Deb showed off an odd  poodle planter, and we were told by a loyal reader that it was a sample, and would have been painted to order.  We are not sure if this is the same thing, but even if it is a sample, why would you start off pink?

For the dad that “got stuck” with a little girl and was really hoping for a chip of the old block to play for Notre Dame?  It is a pink footballer, check out the side view for confirmation:

Pink helmet, check, pink football, check.  Do you fill it with pink plastic flowers, use your teams colors, or plant ivy and hope it covers the whole thing up?

Thought I would leave you with one more sort of cute:

It’s a nice tea towel, but why they felt the need to frame it is beyond us.  After 1959, it’s not very useful, and it is not that decorative.  I love towels like this, as I have zero guilt using them, and they are usually super nice linen.  The thrift store decided it was an antique and priced it accordingly, so it stayed there.

The Summer Intern has developed a raging case of Senioritis (he graduates this year) and is using a rainy day as an excuse to stay home.  Heck, I may just let him get away with it, as I don’t want to go out in the rain either.  I see another cup of tea in my future!

We have a giveaway going on with three vintage cooking pamphlets.  If you’re interested in entering the contest, leave a comment on this post or Facebook.  The drawing will be in a week.

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