Art is Not a Pretty Thing

After a near 70° day this past weekend that had all the hopeful gardeners (including us) scurrying out to their yards to clean up last year’s debris, Mother Nature has again let us know that it is NOT Spring.  With temps down to -10° F, we had our budding flower dreams slapped back with vigor.  It’s not only that we love to garden, but drat, we really need a garage sale or two, and no sane (maybe not even an INSANE) person will schlep their junk to the driveway in that sort of weather.  Oh well, yet again, we console ourselves with thrift stores, but never fear, they delivered as usual, with quite the smattering of “artwork”.

This took us two tries to get a decent photo of it.  I am not sure why we tried so hard, except that after Deb’s camera refused to even try for it, we felt challenged enough to give it another go:

It was mainly the back that gave us fits, and here it is:

This is mostly to show that it really is a big hunk of marble.  Probably the finest Carrara Marble, that was wasted by some hack of an artist carving a fist with what looks like an extra thumb.  At least it was heavy.  It would make an awesome murder mystery weapon.  Just push this sucker off the second-story windowsill where it was resting and knock out the unsuspecting extra character.  For all you budding novelists: You’re welcome.

These next two are sort of a twofer.  First up, I am the Walrus:

It’s kind of hard to tell in the pic, but this thing was HUGE.  A solid couple of feet tall, and we really hate to say it, but we kinda liked it.  I am not really sure what sort of room this fits in.  Definitely not the bar, as with a couple of drinks in you, those eyes might give you the heebie jeebies, and maybe not the bedroom for the same reason.  If you put it in the kitchen it might look like he is begging for food, and in the bath, well, let’s just let that peeping walrus lie.  So that leaves a living room, den, etc.  Not sure, but we still like it. Someone else must have liked it too, as it was gone the next week.

And sitting right next to it:

Again, giant.  In more ways than one, too.  It was a print on canvas designed to look like it might have been a priceless masterpiece, but we were totally turned off by it.  The more I looked at it, the more I decided it had to not be some random artwork for the print market, and with a little digging I found out it is called “The Colossus”, and may or may not be by Goya.  That really explains a lot; I am not fond of Goya, and I can’t imagine this in any room in any house.  I don’t care if he, or one of his students did it; they can keep it.

While we are talking authenticity:

This pitcher claimed to have authentic Native American symbols on it.  They even explained them all on the back of the card:

Seriously, folks, if you had any taste at all, you would have stolen the tag off the pitcher, and taken that home instead of the whole shebang.  It’s just one big UCK.  Buy a postcard!

These had us scratching our heads:

They were slipper-shaped, but too tiny to ever fit on a foot, and who could wear metal slippers anyway?  So if they are not useful, our next job is to see if they are decorative.  Well … nope, just don’t see it.  Sort of blows the mind that they took the time to make a pair of them.  If they had spent all that time and metal on some filigree jewelry, we would be in heaven instead of in Imelda’s closet.

Here is another thing on our like list:

How cute is this little doll bed?  Your teddy or your favorite doll would be right at home here.  I love sturdy toys like this that could take years of play and come back for more.  Beats all the plastic junk to bits.  Even as we were looking, a lady swooped in to look at this; we hope she had lots of grandkids.

We wish Elvis would leave the building:

Seriously, I know by the time Elvis reached the white jumpsuit stage, things were pretty tough with him, but I don’t think he ever turned into a frog.  If you kiss it, does it play Love Me Tender, or Let me Be your Froggy Toad (Teddy Bear)? Maybe, I’m all Croaked Up?  Sincere apologies to the King.  No one should be remembered like this.

We pan shell “art” on a regular basis.  We also have to admit to an iota, well, maybe a little more, of liking for this:

She was kinda cute in a totally ridiculous sort of way.  As a kid, I probably would have thought this was so grown up, and it would have been a treasured souvenir.  Good thing I didn’t travel to Mississippi at that susceptible age.  It’s goofy and kitchy, and we forgive whomever brought it home.

This had us both chortling:

We both firmly subscribe to this.  If we didn’t, we wouldn’t have folks following us around thrift stores laughing at how much fun we are having.  We don’t have much in the way of filters, but we do try and lower the decibel level when we say something truly outrageous.  Doesn’t always work, but we try.  By the time we reach our 70s we will just blithely wander around saying whatever we feel like and laughing hysterically.  Stay tuned for the future!

We haven’t reminded you in a while to check out our Facebook page, or to like and subscribe there or on our blog, but please do, and pass this on to someone who might need a smile.  We always love more readers, and the world needs more happiness.

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Crazy and Not-So-Crazy Craft Patterns IX

My goodness, when I was trying to figure out the title, it struck me that we were getting into Super Bowl looking numbers.  If you like bad crafts, and haven’t read the eight (!) crazy craft posts, well, your weekend is already planned for you!  😉  You can search by category on the front page of the blog, and craft posts are: Book Reviews, True Confessions, AND Weird Collections.  We have a lot of interconnected strangeness in our lives.

Boy oh boy do we have an amazing craft booklet for you today.  We’re amazed that anyone would ever think up these patterns, make them, take pictures of them, and be able to sell them!  Kathy found this at our favorite craft store, Who Gives a Scrap?, and the donor must have snuck this in with a bunch of reasonable-looking craft pamphlets.  The only silver lining that I can find, is that this horror show originated in the U.S. and Canada.  Whew!  Sorry, Canadians, you are going down with us as being responsible for the worst craft pamphlet ever.

The front cover is fairly benign:

Knit Wit cover

I have to admit that I don’t have any “Sculptured Fantasies”, but hey, it was 1962 and things were different then.  Some of these little minis are pretty cute, and turn out to be the most consistently good patterns in the whole book.  I wish they had included directions for the trees; they are a hoot.

This is a cover for a bottle of alcohol sitting on your bar:

Singing Waiter Bottle cover

Bottle covers are a common occurrence in this book, and there’s probably a good reason for that.  While he isn’t the worst, he certainly isn’t something I would want to look at on a daily basis.  The only positive in having a whole collection of these bottle covers, is that there are several corresponding bottles of booze to help you deal with the pain.

I apologize for this next picture.  It’s pretty horrible, but you need to see what we were dealing with, here:

WTF!!??  This was always awful and disturbing.  Whoever made this pattern was a real Knit-Wit!

I’m pretty sure we’re dealing with sadists:

Pink Elephant bottle cover

Why would you want to make a poor alcoholic think they’re seeing pink elephants every time they virtuously walk by the liquor cabinet without taking a nip?  I’m even ignoring the elephant in the room because the poor dear is terrifyingly bug-eyed.  I don’t think alcohol is responsible for that condition.  Can you imagine this as a toilet paper roll cover on the back of the john?  I might never poop again with those eyes boring into my back.

As bad as the other bottle covers are, this one holds its own:

Cat Bottle Cover

I do have to give the booklet maker props for the elaborate backgrounds and accessories used for the photos.  This cat bothered Kathy the most, I think, because she loves cats and look what they did to one!  It almost is camel-like with that extra-long neck and eyelashes.  Come to think of it, that snout is pretty camelly too, and not so much cattish.  Have they ever seen a cat before?

It’s a relief to see Santa:

Santa Bottle Cover

This bottle cover is almost normal—Santa looks like someone has given him a pinch on the rear, or something.  B.H. has several problems with Santa.  He is worried about the crease in the trim of his hat.  Has someone gone after Santa with an axe?  Also, how many feet does Santa have?  Finally, that chimney looks like it was made by someone tippling from numerous uncovered bottles of alcohol.  But, people do give bottles of booze for Christmas gifts, and you wouldn’t be too horrified with this Santy Claus if he came with liquid cheer.  I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t keep this as a treasured gift; but it would make an excellent white elephant gift next year.  So, win-win!

Looks like they didn’t completely ignore the kiddies:

Mermaid and Clown

Although giving either of these as a gift to an innocent child probably qualifies as child abuse.  Make sure that if this came from Grammy, then she sets up a fund for future counseling to help little Susie deal with her issues.  I don’t know how anyone can look at either one of these “toys” and think, “Susie will love this—I must make it!”  If I had gotten these as a kid, I would have shot them out of my tennis ball cannon.  We had a humdinger when we were kids.  You put lighter fluid in it, swung it around, put the tennis ball in it, and then touched a match to the back hole.  We could shoot tennis balls through chain link fences; Mr. Clown wouldn’t stand a chance.  It’s a miracle that we didn’t hurt each other with our cannon, but we didn’t.  We also survived Jarts, a mini-bike, stilts, and a snowmobile.

This picture shows how weird that cat is:

The poor model was probably supposed to cuddle with the cat that kind of matches her sweater.  She can’t bring herself to hold it next to her; she even has a hand between her and the cat.  Plus, her expression says it all—I’m not taking my eye off that thing!  We do like the sweater, but it’s not helped by everything else going on in the photo.

We do NOT like this outfit:

What on earth is this?  I’m sorry, but calling it “Rogue” isn’t helping.  Is it a Halloween costume?  Something you throw on before cat burglarizing, à la To Catch a Thief?  If you got caught breaking and entering in this getup, the police would skip the jail and head right to the mental hospital.  I can’t help but laugh at the pose; it makes me think of the phrase, “I’m huge” for some reason.

I would not turn my back on the woman in the upper left-hand corner of the picture:

Her expression spells D-E-A-T-H to whoever made her wear this hat.  And really, who can blame her.  I don’t think that I could wear yarn daisies on my head with a straight face.  The picture on the bottom left looks like the picture submitted with a claim for sainthood.  Neither of these hats work for everyday life.

Here are the featured miniatures:

For the most part, they’re kind of cute.  Well, at least half of them are okay (not looking at you Ms. Ubangi, Mr. Clown, and Drunken Sot), which is quite an accomplishment for these folks.  I wish they had included all the fun things on the front cover, but nooooo, that wouldn’t have left enough room for the other projects.

Hope you enjoyed this edition of crazy craft patterns.  Honestly, this might be the craziest of the bunch, but you never know what’s coming next, thank goodness.

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Hearts and Flowers

It’s time once again for our annual Valentine’s post, or what not to get your sweetie, unless you would like to sleep on the couch!  We have each been married for 30 plus years, so we know what we are talking about.  And to be honest, we are both not that picky.  There are some pretty weird things that would make us happy, and our respective hubbies know what they are.  Lucky for them!

Here is an entire shelf of misses:

Other than being pink or red, most of this stuff does not read as Valentine’s wares.  The one heart box on the bottom shelf was empty, so it had better get packed up with jewelry or chocolate, and then it could pass.  Still, I am thinking that the pink teapot, or a stack of pink plates just isn’t going to cut it.  I will give the vases passing grades if they are filled with flowers, but really, this time of year, your money could be better spent on a single rose and put the rest towards a nice dinner.  Whatever you do, DON’T give your significant other a pink piggy bank.  Too many messages here.  You’re fat, and you spend too much money.  Surefire road to the doghouse.

Speaking of mixed messages:

I am not sure where these shorts are headed, but they could go dreadfully wrong pretty easily.  The hearts are fine, but do we really want to know what your Valentine does that makes you hop?  I am thinking it could be something contagious, and we just don’t want to go there.  Presenting yourself in the altogether might be a safer choice.

Unless you are decorating a VERY large gym for a Valentine’s Dance, these are probably a no go:

They didn’t open, so couldn’t be stuffed with chocolate, and they didn’t light up, which would still be tacky, but at least a little more amusing.  No they were just pink and white large puffy plastic hearts.  They wouldn’t even float, as there were small holes in the bottom, so you couldn’t even use them to throw your Valentine a lifeline.  Nope, they just used up some petroleum for no good reason.

We also spotted this:

I suppose if you were really desperate, you could stuff these in one of those red or pink vases, and call it a bouquet, but it pretty much says you went to the dollar store and this was the only thing they had with hearts on it.  At least it is sparkly and there is no way your Valentine could ignore it.  That might not be a good thing!

We spent far too much time examining this:

The hearts were movable due to Velcro, so you could stick them just about anywhere on the doll.  We are not sure whether crazy customers, the staff, or the previous owner chose these spots.  The back side has a different message:

I guess the point is supposed to be, you choose the appropriate message and Velcro the hearts in the right spot, then send to your sweetie?  I think this could get you into all sorts of trouble, if the placement is misinterpreted.  Or maybe this is like a regular Voodoo doll where you try and get your heart’s desire from afar.  I bet Velcro won’t make it stick.  Marie Laveau insists on pins.

We were not sure if this was a Valentine thing, but it was there with the rest, and there are roses involved:

So far, so good.  Just another fairly odd homemade doll.  Perhaps for a little girl on Valentine’s Day.  Or maybe not:

WTF?  They made her on a tortilla warmer!  This would put me off my fajitas right from the get-go.  For heaven’s sake wrap them in a towel, eat them cold, something besides this.  If you need someone to sit on your tortillas, you had better invest in a microwave and save us all the anguish.

This shelf had a few choices that were a bit better:

Except for maybe that white owl.  He looks like he has already had a bit too much from the red champagne flutes.  Candles are OK when presented with a lovely dinner, a cup for some morning java in bed, or a cute frame to put a treasured memory in.  Maybe skip the kisses-blowing cherub, but overall there are some ideas here.  All we ask is that you don’t give this:

Nobody is going is going to forgive this.  EVER.  The designer of this must have just come off a bad breakup, and wanted the whole world to be as miserable as he was.  The amazing thing was that we saw this at a thrift store.  Someone bought it … once.  Move over, Big Dog!

Here’s hoping that your chosen sweetheart knows what makes you happy, and gives it to you.  Make sure you do the same!  Happy Valentine’s Day from the Second Hand Roses!

 

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Friday Fiber Finds

Well, it’s still winter doing wintery things here in Northern Colorado.  We were supposed to get snow showers, but when I woke up this morning, there was several inches of snow on the ground.  Definitely not a shower!  Ah well, Jane Austen had it right, “There is nothing like staying home for real comfort” … especially when it’s cold, wet, and sloppy out.

We have found quite a few soft goods, as Goodwill calls them:

It's a Pug Life

I cannot tell you how hard we laughed at this.  Pugs have so much personality that they are always hilarious, adorable or both.  You know, I’m not even sure this is a pug, but it’s so cute that I don’t care.  If Kathy or I used Twitter or Instagram, our favorite hashtag would have to be #ThriftLife.  I’m not sure what people would think if we went shopping with big gold chains, rags on our heads, and flashed gang signs at each other (fingers down our throats, thumbs up or down, or heart signs).  But we would have fun—almost as much as when we like a thrift store’s music and we sing and dance our way down the aisles.  The Summer Intern rarely wants to be seen next to us, and I can understand that preference.  It’s hard being a teen with two goofy middle-aged women.

This stopped the singing:

It was nearly three feet tall, although there isn’t much near it for reference.  I would slink away from its vicinity, too.  Someone who has never seen a columbine went to all the trouble of piecing together what they imagined it looked like as described by a blind person.  Then they quilted the fabric and mounted it on a big old piece of foam or wood.  It’s awfully awful, and yet columbines are so pretty.  Something got lost in translation.

Okay, back to something brilliantly goofy:

It’s an owl pillow, with real feathers.  You can see it shedding  all over itself.  This also made us hoot with laughter; good thing we were at a different thrift store.  This must have come from a pet-free home.  Kathy’s cat would rip it to pieces, and I’m pretty sure my dog would attack it on sight.  Even more than the feathers, its eyes are so crazy looking.  Owls are beautiful majestic creatures; I’m not sure this pillow maker is doing them justice.  He looks like a junior hypnotist.

At the same thrift store, we saw this grouping:

Wow, why did anyone keep these for 40+ years?  They weren’t all that wonderful when they were new.  I can just imagine the couch they graced.  One of those floral brown and orange jobs with the wanna-be velvet upholstery fabric.  Be right back, I’m going looking for a picture:

This is someone’s entry into an ugliest couch contest.  They would have a blue ribbon winner if they added those pillows!  I really don’t understand these couches; they were ugly in the 1970s when they were new.  Shudder.

When we were looking at the pillows above, we could see that there were some more on the other side of the bench:

They have to be made by the same maker; I would hate to think that there are two such crocheters in our lovely town!  The orange and green one is bad, but the yellow and pink one is ever so much worse.  B.H. thinks that it’s wantonly suggestive.  Who makes things like this and keeps them?  I thought we had seen some ugly afghans, but these pillows are right up there and not so useful.  I suppose if you’re using a hideous afghan for warmth, you might as well go for broke and rest your head on one of these babies.  They’re both so incandescent that there’s no hope of sleep.

I have a couple of good things to show you:

I found two pieces of this fabric at our fave craft store, Who Gives a Scrap.  They were so cute that I had to rescue them.  They’re both about the same size.  I might stick them on Etsy for a couple of bucks and hope that a seamstress is inspired.  I suppose it is Super Bowl weekend, so it’s even kind of timely.  Go Team!

We had a visitor in our backyard on Sunday:

A fox had been lying in the pine needles soaking up some sun for a couple of hours.  When I looked out the window to check on him, there he was using my bench.  I don’t know if you can see it in the picture, but his big fluffy tail was hanging down on the side nearest to me.  I’m sure he was looking for my favorite squirrel, Peter, who has gotten super fat off all the big ol’ pumpkins a friend gave me to put out for him.  I would prefer if Foxy would go after the mice that procreate all winter so they can invade my house late summer.  If they’re good enough for wolves, Mr. Fox should be well satisfied.

Well, that’s it for this week.  Stay tuned for our Valentine post, and we have a couple of hysterical craft pamphlets to show you after that.

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All That Glitters

We love jewelry.  It’s no great secret.  Both our hubbies know that it is the easiest present in the world for any occasion.  On top of that, it doesn’t have to be fabulous to float our boat.  We are just as tickled with a plastic dog or cat pin, as we are with gold and diamonds!  Well, within reason!  Because we purchase so much of it at yard sales and scads of it is costume, we really have a lot.  I just recently purchased my SECOND jewelry armoire.  I keep telling Deb how great it is to have more room!  She may succumb yet.  That being said, we have a postful of jewelry that would NEVER make the cut to land in our collection.

The great handkerchief giveaway results are at the bottom of the post.  You may already be a weiner!

We couldn’t decide if this was a DIY gone terribly wrong, or the product of a factory full of mad workers with no taste:

It might have worked with only the center medallion, but why scatter all that other flotsam around it?  Maybe it was advertised as a “stash buster” project.  No thanks, I’ll keep my bead stash.  They are prettier in a pile.

I really can’t see that high fashion is improved by dead things trailing around your wrist:

At least that’s what this looks like to me.  Either that or some leftovers from a miniature herd of cattle.  Just an FYI, this was a ladies’ size, so no doubt it was made to go with your pink frilly prom dress.

Here is a whole collection of bracelet madness:

Maybe one of these at a time could be pulled off, especially the silver one on the end, but is it really worth the effort?  The beads were piled on and glued to the gold-colored one, the brown one looked like laminated paper bags, and I have no idea what those carvings on the wood one are supposed to represent, but they look vaguely naughty, and not in a good way.

At least this made us laugh:

It had a loop on it to use it as a key chain, and metal going through the beads allowed you to form it into goofy shapes.  It probably fails as a key chain—who would want something that big dangling from their keys—but as a toy to keep you amused while sitting at the DMV, it could work.  Deb kinda wanted it, but was too cheap to pay full price for it, and we are notorious for forgetting to come back on half-price day.

All you can say about this necklace is that they tried, not very hard, but they tried:

What is up with the geese with an attitude?  They won’t even talk to each other!  I have seen really pretty jewelry made with wooden beads.  This isn’t it.  At best it is ho hum.

We tried to like this pin.  Heck, it’s a bunny—I love those:

It had such an odd shape that it just didn’t work, and then on closer inspection we noticed it has two pairs of ears!  Look just below the large open ear, and you will another tiny one.  While looking at it, I have come to the decision that it might be a cat with a set of reins coming out of his head.  Yeah, that must be it.  I don’t know, but whoever made it needs to take a class on animal anatomy.

This necklace is big:

Nothing else, just big.  Come on, this couldn’t have looked good even on the rack at the local department store.  I have no problem with statement jewelry, but the only comment this one makes, is “I have no taste, and the salesgirl was told to push the ugly stuff out the door as fast as possible”.

Speaking of ugly:

Pineapples are supposed to be symbols of welcome, but this one clearly says “go away! ”  I am sure the woman who owned this had the harvest gold pantsuit to go with it.  She wore it often hoping folks would inquire about it and she could whip out her slide show of Hawaii, but every time someone saw it they winced, and forbore to mention it thinking she HAD to wear it, as it was a gift from her nearsighted husband.

We think these would be more fun to MAKE than to wear:

I kinda hate to admit it, but I did my share of string art kits back in the day.  It was rather therapeutic carefully wrapping all that thread around the proper spot to make the design.  I could see these fulfilling the same purpose, and overall they really are not that offensive.  With a bright summer dress they would be breezy and fun.

Thought I would share one last piece of jewelry with you:

I apologize for the really crappy photo, but my computer is in the shop, and my ancient laptop will not speak to my camera, so I snapped this with my phone.  Even the colors are a bit off, as it is more that forties green and burgundy, but at least you can see what it is.  I spotted this ring at one of the thrift stores a couple of weeks ago, and realized the plastic was definitely vintage.  I sort of balked at the $3 price tag, then I noticed it was the half price color so brought it home.  Spent some time looking it up and these are called Prison Rings.  They were homemade, some possibly in prisons, although I wonder that they would let them have something sharp enough to cut the plastic.  Anyway, they were constructed out of old pens, tooth brushes, and any other celluloid item that came their way.  Many have a clear spot on the top with a photo underneath.  It was cool, and they are actually pretty rare.  Going price seems to be around $200, so I guess I could have paid full price!

We did the drawing for the handkerchiefs, and we need some emails/addresses to get them sent out, so if you are:

Patty Hagar

Wayne R. Johnson

Char being Char ( I’ve got this one, Congrats, will get it right out! )

Please email us your official name and address and we will rush your winnings right out to you.

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A Rummage of Friday Finds

Not much new in our neck of the woods.  It’s been warm, then really cold and snowy, and now it’s warming up again to get ready for snow this weekend.  You know, a typical January week.  It seems that the colds and flu that are hitting other parts of the country are making their way here with the students coming back for spring term.  Time to get religious about the hand sanitizer.

We went to the bins, after avoiding them for a month, and looked around for an hour and found enough to amuse us.

Take this costume, for instance:

Clown suit

They did the right thing sending this to the thrift store.  If you’ve paid even casual attention to our blog, you should know what we think about clowns.  Hint: we aren’t fans.  Looking at this clown suit is sort of like looking at the skin that a snake shed.  Interesting, but I’m always glad that the snake is long gone.

Well, one clown is bearable:

Eek it's a clown

but two are alarming.  According to the interweb, historically, a gaggle of clowns were called a shudder, an alley, or a pratfall.  Personally, a shudder works just fine.  The alley association comes from the circus where a backstage area where clowns got ready was known as clown alley.  Talk about your scary, dark alley that sensible people avoid!  I’m sure when Ma made these outfits for her and Pa to wear to the costume party, they were supposed to be adorable.  Goes to show that Stephen King was right, “Nobody likes a clown at midnight.”

We found this jacket in the bin with the clown duds:

This has to be a joke, right?  No one, besides Uncle Sam, or someone singing four-part harmony, would wear this non-ironically.  It was made of denim, duck cloth, or something heavy like that.  It seems like a lot of trouble to sew a jacket for a Halloween costume, so they must have found it somewhere.  It’s really something, as my mother would say.  By the way, the button says, “Cohere”.  Good advice for those of us ready to fly apart like a dried dandelion flower.

We thought that this was kind of cute:

It would be pretty in a bathroom, maybe more so than a kitchen.  There are lots of patterns on Pinterest for towels and this one ISN’T a fail.  I looked on Pinterest, where I’m perfectly willing to waste hours every day, and found something similar:

from someone’s Etsy shop.  One good thing about these towels is that they will not fall off the rack or kitchen appliance handle.  My family tends to crochet loops for kitchen towels, or use a hot pad to fasten them to their holder.  This almost looks too pretty to use.  Maybe I should use a towel for my next clothespin bag; it’s sure to be more durable.

You can tell that the maker’s heart was in the right place:

I’m just not sure that Kelly green fabric and bandanna material screams butterflies and young girls to anyone.  If they’re making this quilt for any other market, the maker is even more mistaken.  In for a penny; I would have made the butterflies out of pieced-together bandannas.  What do you have to lose at that point?

We saw this whole fleet of office chairs:

and figured that a local business had redecorated their conference room for the first time in a long while.  It’s not that the fabric is awful—I think it’s kind of fun for an office.  It’s just been a while since it was new.  I can’t believe that they got all new chairs instead of recovering them.  Anyone just starting out could get a screaming deal here, and then invest in a little fabric and work to get their office up and running.

A local thrift had all their Christmas things 75% off:

and I still couldn’t justify buying these vintage light replacement sets.  They were made in Japan, so you know that they have been stored for a while.  I showed them to B.H. and he said that they were made for different sockets than what our Christmas tree lights have.  Hope someone found them and had the right string of lights to use them.

Speaking of Christmas, I thought I would show you what lengths B.H. will go to when wrapping Christmas presents:

He constructed an octahedron as a box for one of my presents (a small bottle cut from stone) so that I couldn’t tell what it was.  When wrapped, it was a lovely shape, and very hard to open since he taped the bejesus out of it.  I had to take over wrapping presents after my sisters reported that our nieces and nephews cried from frustration when opening their birthday and Christmas presents.  I always have my handy-dandy Swiss army knife to hand on Christmas day, so I’m the one tortured.

Don’t forget our hanky drawing this evening.  We have three lovely hankies, and would love to send one your way.  Just leave a comment here or on Facebook if you would like one:

 

Posted in Friday Finds, Giveaways | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

Who’s Counting?

Who’s Counting?  I am.  My mother owns a bead store.  You would think this would be a wonderful thing, fabulous beads at my fingertips any time, but there is a big caveat here.  You don’t want to know the owner of a bead store when it comes time to do inventory!  Cleaning trays, retagging, counting, counting, counting.  How many pearls the size of a BB, did you say?  Only 257 here this time, next spot, oh joy, 300 of those.  Frankly, sitting down to write a blog post is a nice big break!

First up, we have a couple of thrift store funnies.  We are positive that at least some of the people who work there have a sense of humor when we see things like this:

You know that those tiny stuffed tigers are vicious.  For the good of all mankind, make sure that they are in a dog crate!  While we are at it, I have never seen a pink dog crate before.  Must have been for a Pomeranian, preferably white and a female.  Might emasculate one of those beefy male ones!

We also liked this goofy owl perched on a branch:

I am not sure how they got him to sit up there, but it took more that just throwing him on the shelf, so there must have been some forethought there.  Deb had a little problem with the owl, but I thought he was kind of cute.  On further reflection, I think I know why.  I had a stuffed owl made of Naugahyde when I was a kid.  He looked just like this one.  He reminds me a bit of that, so I supposed that is why he appealed to me.  (On looking at the linked article, I find they are now worth something.  Drat, I don’t think he lives here anymore.)  My Dad used to do local truck deliveries in town, and he brought him home one day.  Must have picked him up from a furniture store.

This next item totally baffled us:

At first we thought it might be some sort of tea cozy, but it had a latch and a handle.?????  Luckily someone had the foresight to place a tag on it.  Bowling Ball Bag.  Huh?  It was a soft-sided bag, and well-padded inside.  Yes, a bowling ball would fit in there, but really?  Flummoxed was the best we could do with it.  I guess if your sweet little baker granny were queen of the alleys, this is what she would carry.  Personally, I think she would carry a leather one with studs; she is a killer on the lanes!

We are standing firm on just plain ugly for these:

We are talking about the red pair of vases, although the one in the middle wouldn’t win any pageants either.  We didn’t pick up the red ones to see if they were someone’s ceramics project, but I don’t really think so.  I think they were just commercial ones available from Bordellos Are Us.  Bad molding, bad color, and too over-sized to hide in a corner somewhere.  Maybe if you had a LOT of really weepy ferns to hang over the side of them you could disguise them somewhat, but you would still have ugly vases covered in greenery.  Just toss them out.  Oh wait, someone did.  Just hope no one else takes them home!

At least this made us laugh:

Must be a picture of the individual branches of a family tree!  We are hoping this was done at summer camp by an enterprising seven year old.  If so, it’s charming.  If it’s an adult, they need to unsubscribe to Pinterest.

Up next may be another Craft Fail:

It was HUGE, horribly pink, and for the life of us, we couldn’t figure out what the white cording running though it was supposed to do.  In the thrift store, it gave it a convenient way to hang it, but I am pretty sure wreath suicide was not the original intent.  I am not sure there is anything you could do to make this hot mess any better.  Maybe unwinding everything and putting it back on the spool, but that means there is still the potential for re-creation of the whole shebang, and no one wants that.

We did like this:

It’s a purse made out of an actual record album.  The back was the record and the front was the album cover:

I probably would have bought this, but I just wasn’t too keen on that album cover.  If it had been Herb Alpert’s Whipped Cream,  or the Beach Boys’ Endless Summer, it would have been a slam dunk.  No offense to Barbra, just not my favorite album cover.  I am sure someone paid a fortune for this hand-made bag, but it didn’t look like it was carried all that much, so it was probably not real practical, but then, what cute bag is?  We are queens of carrying crazy bags, so it wouldn’t bother us … much.  Not enough to put it back in the closet, anyway.

I took this while killing time one day, so Deb hasn’t seen it:

I don’t know what the frog did, but it apparently traumatized that bunny beyond recovery. There must be a lawsuit in there somewhere.  I think there are things that go on, during cover of night, on the shelves of the local thrifts, that must never be spoken of in the light of day!  Maybe it was just the employees having a good time again.  The frog was into it, and the bunny was just too stuck up to relax and enjoy.

We haven’t had a Helen step forward and claim the hanky, so we are adding the other H hankies for our give-away.  You don’t have to be a Helen, or even have your name start with H.  Just add a comment here, or on Facebook letting us know that you would like a hanky. We will draw names on the 19th of January, and let you know if you have won a vintage hanky for your collection.  Don’t be shy; they’re cheap to mail, and we want to unite these hankies with their new nasal companions.

Drat, the post is done.  I must go back to counting beads.  1, 2, 3, 4, ……

Posted in Friday Finds | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments