Not so Clever Crafts and More

Ah … the thrifty, clever, crafty, housewife.  What would our posts be without her?  I am as guilty as the next gal of crafting, but I at least try NOT to inflict them on too many people, especially when they fail miserably.  I have decided that the solution for most crafters, is make it, see if it’s good, and if not, give it away as soon as possible.  Then the receiver of the gift is now the owner of the problem.  They promptly pass it on to the thrift store, and that’s where we come in!

This first item has a funny story to go with it.  We were making our yearly pilgrimage to the mother of all garage sales (our local Unitarian church) and Deb spotted this hideous lamp.  She was trying to maneuver discreetly past the lady manning the boutique part of the sale to snap a pic, when I confessed to having already taken a picture of it the week before at a yard sale!

Gnome home gone wrongThe proprietor of the sale was quite proud of the fact that she had talked them into donating it to the church sale.  I bet they couldn’t move it out of there fast enough.  I liked the sticker on it:

Angry gnomesI wanted to offer to use it as target practice.

So if flora type crafting is still your style, get a load of this field of tulips:

Plastic canvas tulipsOn the positive side, they came in every color.  Don’t get me started on the negative side.  This same crafter brought us these two as well:

Safety pins, plastic beads, and crochetI am pretty sure I have never seen a safety-pin doll dress before.  I guess it is so stiff that there is no problem with the doll needing a stand.  The poor girl could never sit down–might as well be wearing a hoop skirt.  And her friend is just a little too happy considering the monstrosity she is wearing as well.  This sale was loaded with crafts that couldn’t even be given away, and yet she was trying to sell them.  Bet there were a lot of leftovers at the end of the day.  Make way on the thrift store shelves!

Since we are looking at dolls, these two were almost too scary to photograph, but we made the sacrifice:

Two Ugly Dolls in One Picture  Back view of the hair

The one in pink has the biggest hair I have ever seen.  We are pretty sure she is from down south somewhere, and says “y’all”, and “honey pie” a bunch.  I sure hope Granny is up to helping her hold up that “do”, or maybe it’s just a plain old “don’t”, cause her neck is never going to live up to the strain.  Not to mention, her complexion is a bit on the green side.  Not sure what she had for dinner, but it didn’t seem to agree with her.

OK, after all that, you deserve something a bit cuter.  I am sure this was for a baby shower, and I could still see someone using it:

The New ArrivalsI just hope it doesn’t mean there are triplets involved all the time.  Anything over two, and they can divide and conquer.

So maybe cooking is more your style than crafting.  Any hostess with the mostess would be thrilled to serve her preprandial snacks on this spiky creation:

Cactus hors d'oeuvre anyone?Just so you know, we peeked into the box and it even came with the wild toothpicks, so you could always get the full frothy effect.  I can’t imagine why it was still “mint in box”.

When removing those wonderful nibbles from the stove, don’t forget the oven mitt:

Looks fishy to me!I had to admit, to Deb, that I own a fishy oven mitt, although it didn’t come packaged this way.  At least the mitt was way more amusing than the slightly suspect shrunken head cocktail picks on the side.  Those were downright bone-chilling.  The faces were pretty creepy, and we were glad to leave them sitting right there.

Deb made the mistake of complaining, while we were in the thrift, that we hadn’t seen anything blogworthy.  Within seconds the big-haired doll and this came up.  Be careful what you wish for:

Big Foot PotBe especially careful in your choice of relatives or friends, and hope they are not the sort to gift, or regift, or sneak onto your porch, anything that looks like this!

This last item just made me smile.  I think it looks about right:

Looks About RightWe could probably stock this right out of our homes, and not even notice what was missing.  Of course that won’t stop us from being ever on the lookout, and ready at a moment’s notice, to bring you the bad with the good, or vice versa.

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12 Responses to Not so Clever Crafts and More

  1. jensine says:

    now those tulips are awful and that poor doll … really what were people thinking

  2. Terri Gold says:

    What was that lamp? I couldn’t even figure it out. Leaves over a paper bag?
    “I wanted to offer to use it as target practice.” Thanks for the laugh.
    This was one of the best posts ever.

    • kathy & deb says:

      Thank you!! That lamp might have been the hardest thing ever to photograph. It was tall and weird, so there were no good angles. The base is metal and it’s some sort of gnome shack with a tree growing out of the roof. As if that wasn’t enough, the owner glued leaves and vines on the shade, which already had a leaf pattern on it. It took me a while, staring intently to make any “sense” out of what I was seeing. We thought it was hysterical that the Unitarian church lady begged the owner to bring it to their garage sale! Thanks for reading and laughing with us.

  3. Connie says:

    Okay… the big-haired doll frightens me.

    • kathy & deb says:

      She’s still there so you could go get a pre-Halloween scare in person. She really has to be seen to be believed!

  4. You found Nemo!

    And I agree–that big-headed thing is the stuff of nightmares. {full body shudder}

    But the lamp…dang, I’ve so got someone I could have given that to as a gag gift. This guy, here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/arwensouth/243336023/

    He’d have killed me, of course. But a large number of our mutual friends would have found it hysterically funny.

    (The story behind this: Once upon a time, I was part of a group bidding to get the 2008 World Science Fiction convention in Denver. One of our slogans was “Gnomes on the Range”. The picture is from one of our bid parties. He was the convention chairman.)

    • kathy & deb says:

      Okay, your friend would be the perfect owner for the gnome shack lamp! His costume is hilarious! Thanks for sharing his pic!

  5. This is great! I have seen very strange crafts too in my lifetime! Great post! 🙂

    • kathy & deb says:

      The oddest part of the whole bad craft thing is that often it’s obvious that the crafter is very good at crochet, stitchery, whatever, but the colors and patterns used overwhelm their skill. I’m sure our perspective is skewed since the good crafts are still in people’s homes and only the bad go to thrift stores. ‘-}

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