Twofers!

Yes, it is that time.  Second Hand Roses will be entering our terrible twos.  Can you believe we have been this nutty for two whole years?  So, in honor of our Birthday, we decided to pass out our badness in pairs for this post.  The scary part of this whole idea, is that we really didn’t have any trouble at all finding pairs of things.

I always thought that candle holders were supposed to come in pairs that at least sort of matched.  I couldn’t decided whether these came in separate from one another, and just got placed together on the shelf, or if the original buyer was just color blind.  No matter what, they are just icky made-in-China junk.  Hope they do leap off the shelf.

Now these two ladies aren’t really bad, but they did make me laugh.  Just that sort of silly country stuff from the 70s.  They have cute faces, but are ready to retire to the old folks’ home for the wheat intolerant.

For some bizarre reason angels just don’t seem to turn out the way they are supposed to.  I wouldn’t be all that thrilled if these messengers showed up at my place:

These resin monstrosities seem to be proliferating at an alarming rate, at least at our thrifts.  The one on the left looks like someone just gave her a little goose, and that is just totally disrespectful, but I think she had it coming.  The one with the cherub had better watch out.

We may be cheating on the candle holder thing, but there were two, and they weren’t great:

Bad cherubs should be banished with the bad angels.  These candle sticks would definitely put you off your dinner.  You could have a contest each night to see who had to sit in the seat facing them.  The winner did the dishes, the loser looked ‘em in the eye.

For some things, a pair of them just doesn’t make them any better.

They glopped one of everything on here, and then plated it for good measure.  Can’t believe these are both still in one piece.  You know if they’d been nice, there is no way they could have survived.  Sigh … only the good die young.

Easter is coming, hold on to your chickens, cause the bad bunnies are on the loose.  Not only are these ugly, they are just too big to be contemplated.

Under no circumstances should these be brought into your home.  The Easter Bunny would take one look at them, and high cottontail it right out of there.  No Peeps for you.

We loved the fact that this is another one of those shots we DIDN’T manufacture.  Right beside each other on the shelf with no apologies.

I like Deb’s caption best.  We KNOW evil when we see it, and after two years, there is still plenty out there to be reported, and we know just the girls to do it.  Thanks for hanging out with us, and reading our posts every week.

Fantastic (Sarcastic) Plastic Finds

Last Friday, we really needed our morning of shopping fun and snarkiness.  Between vacations, school doings, and family obligations we knew it might be a couple of weeks before we could go shopping together again.  Our Friday shopping expeditions aren’t just for treasure hunting and searching out blog fodder.   They’re our way of shedding all the stress and distress of a week so we can regain our usual happy-go-lucky personae.  We’re lucky to know what we need to be happy–that’s 90% of the battle.

We were plagued by plastic this week.  We kept running into things that would have been improved immeasurably if they had been made of almost any other material.  Here is the first example:

These chairs are graceless, huge, and a horrible color, but it’s the plastic upholstery that’s the killer here.  We might still laugh at them if they had velvet fabric, but we wouldn’t shudder!  We have another shudder saved up for the dining room these chairs matched.

It’s hard to understand what purpose these twisted plastic trees serve (they definitely aren’t decorative):

 

If you are bothered by a brown thumb, why don’t you hang a nice picture of flowers, greenery, or a garden on your wall?  That would be so much more attractive than a homely plastic plant.  You could also buy yourself an inexpensive flower bouquet, or cheap houseplants and toss them on the compost heap when they die.  Much more sensible than letting a plastic plant out-gas dangerous chemicals and just look plain ugly.

Things seem come in threes, don’t they?  We should be so lucky:

We still can’t believe that an Italian firm (Lami, Italy) was responsible for these plates.  They sure look like a 1970′s inspired design, back when plastic was going to make the world a better place.  Lami went to a lot of trouble to make these look like pottery, even down to the crackle glaze; that should have been their first clue that pottery would be a better choice than light-weight plastic.

We were stopped in our tracks by this little fella.  He was facing us straight on, and it was hard to tell what he was supposed to be, besides pissed off:

Perhaps if we turned him sideways that might help:

What in the name of Bambi was the creator of this plastic resin statue thinking?  Fawns are timid, quiet, scentless creatures; this poor little thing looks like it has rabies at the very least.  Maybe he’s a prototype for Rambo Bambi (Bambo, Rambi???)-First Blood, coming soon to the Syfy channel.

There have been so many kitchen decor fads over the last 40 years, it’s hard to remember when they were popular.  I seem to recall that strawberries were “in” at the end of the 1980′s or the beginning of the 1990′s (feel free to correct me if you know).  Whenever it was, I’m pretty sure this is too much of a good thing:

Red is great as a punch of color; this seems more like assault and battery.

I think that’s it for bad stuff; we have a couple of good to benign finds to finish with.  We admire the thoroughness with which this toy fish’s environment was recreated:

However great that attention to detail was, why didn’t it extend to the fish itself?  He is furry, whereas a slicker fabric that looked like scales would have been a more authentic choice, but less cuddly.  Anyway, he made us laugh, and not in a bad way at all–he is pretty cute.

We are forever taking pictures of little wooden or foreign-made dolls:We saw this little Russian cutie and were charmed by her smile and cheerful pansy.

Last up, is a friend from several months ago:

We had a mate straw or bombilla and asked our readers to guess what it was.  Last week we saw another straw, plus the drinking vessel also called mate, same as the beverage it holds.  They were  marked the same as the original straw–ARGENTINA INDUSTRIA, which might not be a coincidence if the same person donated them.  It was fun looking at something exotic and actually knowing what it was.

Look for our second anniversary post next week; we are doing a double trouble or twofer post on the evil twins we find at thrift stores.  Have a great week, and we hope you can do something that makes you happy this week.

Too Cold for a Cold

Brrrr……  Nothing like February in CO.  I think Deb came down with a nasty cold, just so she wouldn’t have to go out in it, and left me to bravely trudge through the snow seven miles up hill both ways.  OK, would you settle for tromping through the mess in the parking lot?

I had to smile as I pulled in, as one of the trees in the lot was totally overrun with a whole flock of robins.

They were eating the berries off the tree as quickly as they could, and squawking at each other as loudly as possible.  If you ask me, this little guy looks waaaaay too cold to come Bob, Bob Bobbing along.

By the time I got back out of the store, they had denuded the tree and moved on.  I think they were trying to tell me that spring is coming, but I believe them, like I believe Punxsutawney Phil.

After the robins, it was all downhill.  You know we try to leave off the shell things, but they just keep popping out at us.  This one was pretty amazing with all the shells on it, and I could tell it had some age to it, so I made the mistake of picking it up.  I don’t know how they did it, but it had some sort of chime in it, like a child’s toy.  Would have been just as bad if it mooed.

I didn’t realize that Deb would not be coming this morning, so the only camera I had was my new Canon DSL which makes it a lot harder to be subtle while taking photos, so I threw caution to the wind, and just got it out and snapped away.  Got me in trouble, as several people were nearby, and commented on my taking this photo:

I think this looks like the poor kid woke up to find a monster hovering over the bed, and indulged in a fit of wailing, which if you ask me, is a natural reaction.  The people around me seemed to think I was taking the photo, as it was so pretty.  One of them was the clerk that Deb called a Damask several months ago, so I just kept my mouth shut, so as to offend as few as possible.  I figure the plate was doing enough for both of us.

Now this next decorative item looks like it was a reject from last week’s post about the seventies:

Nothing like fiberglass-encased burlap for all your home decorating needs.  The coasters were still attached to the tray in their original display order, except for the one trying to escape, and the store thoughtfully taped that one in place.

I almost cried when I saw this one, as I knew Deb would have enjoyed ripping this one to shreds with her laser-sharp wit.  I almost bought it, as she needed a pick-me-up, but then, what would she do with it?

On the other hand, ripping to shreds might be the kindest thing to do.  Make it into a pile of silver yarn scraps, icky plastic beads, and an OK glass jar.  That bathroom must have been a lulu to take on this storage container.  Grandma should have stuck to making doilies.

I sorted through a ton of my fabric a while back.  I think I am going for that the “one with the most fabric wins” title, but I tripped over this piece that I bought ages ago, because the fabric really was cool, but I am such a schmuck, that I just can’t bring myself to drag it out of the packaging.  Thought I would share it with you today, as the post is a bit short.  Then I can put it away again, find it a few years from now, and delight in it all over again.  So here we go.  Make Your Guy a Tie!

I just don’t even know where to start.  Exec-U-Tie fabric?  For Today’s Man?  Guess I liked this part best:

Easy, economical, and creative.  I suppose she really didn’t feel like any of those things, as here it still sits.  There is a printed pattern and enough fabric to make the tie.  Lucky Dad probably missed out on a super Father’s Day present.

Guess I will sign off for now.  Hope you all are staying warm and cozy, and if you do venture out, send us your fun thrift store finds to share.

Valentine’s Day Follies

It’s heerree, the day for Lovers or soon to be Ex-Lovers, depending on the level of drama you enjoy in your life.  As far as we can tell, you should know your Valentine well enough to give them an appreciated token of your love without our help.  However, the amount of discarded Valentine’s Day gifts we see in thrift stores says otherwise.

We think, for a nominal fee,  that you should just check one of these stuffed animals out of the thrift store like you do library books:

That would save on precious resources and money, discourage the proliferation of these things, and save your honey some anguish when they realize that they already have 15 of these stuffed animals, and need to get rid of a few.

This next gift is another lesson in knowing what your beloved likes:

It’s a slam-dunk present for someone with a wacky monkey collection–not so good for anyone else.

We know that obesity is rampant in the USA and appreciate anyone who considers whether chocolate would be a good choice for their sweetie.  Just because chocolate isn’t a healthy choice, doesn’t mean that this works:

Those are candy-shaped soaps!  If chocolate soap isn’t the meanest thing ever, we don’t know what is.  Every time you use one of those soaps, it would make you hungry for a piece of candy!  We couldn’t tell for sure, but they probably smell like chocolate too!!!!!  It’s surprising that the recipient of that gift didn’t stomp on that package until they used up enough calories to eat a chocolate.

Going with a vintage Valentine’s Day gift can be an interesting choice:

You still have to have some shopping savvy–one of these works, and one doesn’t.  In fact, the glass with the reproduction of a vintage valentine is much cuter than the bear, even if it’s new.

It’s a mystery to us why people panic and buy these kinds of Valentine’s presents.  Your lover probably would appreciate:  a thoughtful card, flowers, candy, uncomplaining help with repetitive chores, kindness and consideration on a daily basis, a special meal of all their favorites, one uninterrupted hour of a relaxing activity (you fill in the blank) guilt-free, an evening of your undivided attention while holding hands … we could go on forever, but hopefully you get the drift.  Of course, there are people out there who want the stuffed animal, crazy monkey, or faux chocolates.  To them we say:  Send your sweetie to a thrift store, there are tons of what you love, to be had for reasonable prices.

Here’s hoping that your Valentine’s Day is a happy one.  We hope you take the opportunity to tell your loved ones, no matter who they might be, that you appreciate them.

The 1970′s are Alive and Well at Goodwill

We braved the snow with our intern in tow; he is getting to the age where he is more interested in shopping for himself than helping us, but that is what tweens do.  We might not have been as excited about shopping, if we had known that we were going to revisit the 1970′s.

Going thrifting can be like archeology; we sift through the fads of the last 100 years.  The front case had a number of good things, but we had to take a picture of these bad boys:

Wowsers, we would love to see the room these monstrous lighters came from.  What do you think–harvest gold shag carpeting, or maybe even orange like this room:

Gak, it makes me shudder even looking at it!  Thank goodness I was a teenager in the 1970′s, so I had better things to do than look at interior decor.  Those lighters would give the room an European flair, right?  By the way, if you are entertained by looking at bad 1970′s decor, check out James Lileks’ Interior Desecrators website, and have a laugh.  Yes he is the same person who wrote the book we reviewed a couple of weeks ago, The Gallery of Regrettable Foods.  We warned you that we thought he was funny.

Of course we headed over to look at the linens, and saw this whole rack of bad crochet:

We know it isn’t all from the 1970′s, but that decade is well represented with the orange and gold mess, the granny squares, and even some avocado green thrown in for good measure.

We quite like these 1960-1970′s dolls:

These are the most elaborate example of those Asian fabric dolls we have ever seen.  If they hadn’t been so big, and my doll room jam-packed already, I might have been tempted by them.  They were much too nice to buy and steal their clothing and instrument; it seemed like a bad thing to do.

Our next foray into 1970′s decor is macrame:

This can’t be a surprise–macrame was all the rage.  And it was super cool to use huge, hideous beads to enhance your design.  We both like birds, but those bird beads are heading in the wrong direction, and will soon be doing a Humpty Dumpty on the floor.

Whew, the rest of the post is thankfully 1970′s free.  That doesn’t mean it’s good stuff, but it won’t be 1970′s bad stuff.  We were totally mystified by this next conical tube–any ideas, loyal readers?

I apologize for making it so big, but it’s really hard to see otherwise.  It isn’t a candle, although it appears to have a beaded wick.  The interior is hollow, and while it looks waxy, it really is plastic coated.

We generally like Mary Engelbreit, but we are not so enamored of her wannabe copycats.  Here is a good example:

It isn’t amusing enough to be decorative, and it isn’t workable as a bird house.  The first time a baby bird gets down into the toe, everyone is going to feel terrible.

We, for the most part, don’t get collecting Jim Beam bottles,

but this Paul Bunyan has a goofy charm.  We just wish the cap didn’t look like a do-it-yourself lobotomy.  Could this be a clever commentary on the effects of too much alcohol?

Lastly, we saw something cool at Goodwill, and it was from a much earlier time than the 1970′s:

Wish the donor had thrown in the phonograph needed to play this music.  They were known as phonograph cylinders, and are the earliest records made.  We didn’t buy them, even though they were very cool.  We hope the person who bought them has the equipment to listen to them, and make sure they still work.  We might have bought one or two just to have them, but the whole tub full was too much.

We are forever looking at cars in the parking lot as we toddle onwards to our shopping goal.  This one seemed a little out of the ordinary:

I guess they like Anime fairies, or needed to hide a few dings and got carried away.  Those are not going to come off without a struggle, so hopefully the car will die of old age before they get sticker shocked (sorry, couldn’t help myself).

Well, thanks as always for accompanying us down memory lane.  We would love to see your “finds” and even publish them for you.  Also, don’t forget that our second anniversary is rearing its ugly head; do you have any requests for that epic post?

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

Isn’t that just the way we operate?  Thrift store butterflies, flitting from one outrageous object to the next, just to entertain our loyal readers!

As we entered our favorite thrift, this first little blossom was there to greet us:

We both are sort of enamored of wall pockets, so she caught our eye.  She also has quite a bit in common with your average head vase, so she is the best of both worlds!  Really more cute than a horror.  Don’t you wish you could master that shy come-hither look?

Speaking of lady-type collectibles, we wanted to share this little lady as well:

They did a darn good job on this lady pincushion half doll, but she is a fake–as in not old.  Can you see the dead giveaway?  I’ll let you know at the end of the post.  Hey, we try to be informative on occasion.

So, as we seem to be on the topic of dolls, I am not sure why this one appealed to us so much, but we both just loved it.  If we both laugh, you know it’s a keeper for our posts.

You can sweep your vanity, or remember your trip to Tahiti (or wherever that rum-soaked vacation was, as the doll wasn’t marked).

I know we have posted these before, but we are always amazed at the proliferation of them.  Surely somewhere along the line there must have been a moratorium issued on them.  If not, I hereby declare one right now.  Anyone seen making one of these must be stabbed with knitting needles at once, and the object in question burned.

By the way, I really do realize it is crochet, but knitting needles seemed a less violent form of death.

Speaking of useless, there seems to be a case of Tiki invasion on this shelf:

If you are going to take the time to put this in the suitcase, can you at least pick a well-done one?  Shell out the money for a real craftsman to make one, and put China out of business, or be doomed to live with this:

Just terrifying.  Can you imagine tripping over this on your way into the house after a bit too much partying?  It would give you nightmares for a month.  You could make an entire series of movies about it.  Invasion of the Tiki Gods 1 through 7.  See them all.

Maybe you could park the above items in front of this case of gilding the, well, everything:

As if a big, nasty, plastic gilded frame on a mirror weren’t enough, some misguided soul felt the need to embellish with paint.  I believe it hangs sideways, just in case that makes it better.  We worked really hard not to get ourselves into this picture [Deb:  and still needed some help from Paint] as we would probably just make it that much worse.  Maybe that isn’t even possible.

Wow, need to cleanse the mind after that one?  If so, try the Gator Soap!

It says it is self-cleaning and cute, and no handbags were harmed in the making of this soap.  How could you go wrong?  I managed to leave this on the shelf, but it was hard.  If I were the sort of person who had house guests, I think I would have had to own this.

This next item is a totally new form for us.  Neither of us could ever remember seeing an acrylic bowl done quite like this:

It had all sorts of seashells molded into the acrylic.  Yeah, you thought you were going to get away without a shell in the post.  Hah.  Anyway, I can see this working in certain 50s bathrooms, and it certainly dates to around there.

Our closets are totally full of orphan linens.  We just can’t seem to leave the poor things be, as if no one loves them, and it is our duty to do so.  We feel this intense guilt over a doily for a quarter, and we have to bring it home.  Thank goodness the thrifts price things higher, so we feel they are getting their just due, and we can leave them there, but sometimes they are so cute that is really hard.  Check out this adorable tablecloth:

Back to the fifties and that craze for the Mexicali in all of us.  You know they went all out.  I’ve even seen recipes from the time, that called for a whole 1/8th of a teaspoon of chilli powder!  They were really living on the edge.  Still, the decorating was cute, and I have succumbed a time or two.

One last cutie in the Barbie line.  We found this darling Skipper case.  We have not been able to convince the stores that the cases are not worth much at all, but we did love the graphics on this one.  We left it there for $14.99.  It was gone when I went back later in the week, so I am sure some dealer snapped it up to overprice, and put in his booth at the flea markets:

And now the giveaway on the half doll? There would never be a ring at the top for hanging.  These ALWAYS sat on something, frequently a vanity or sewing table.  If you have any interest in half or pincushion dolls, there are books on the subject, an  internet article, some collecting groups, and of course lots of images.  We both have a couple of pincushion dolls; they can be hard to resist.

Good finds and happy hunting to you all.

Retail Therapy Leads to Friday Finds

After a busy week, we desperately needed some retail therapy.  For us, that doesn’t always involve buying stuff; we’re happy just to look.  We must have been having way too much fun, because four or five fellow shoppers came up and told us so.  That’s just the prod we need to get our blog business cards finished, so we can hand them out to unsuspecting folks who talk to us at thrift stores and estate sales.  Didn’t their moms tell them it’s dangerous to talk to strangers?

We saw these blue beauties, and knew we needed to talk about them:

I love that they are the same figure right down to the candle holder, and the candy dish sits on top of the holder–that says practicality but probably not quality.  I’m wondering if there weren’t originally two candy dishes, one of which suffered a fortunate accident.  By their color, they look like they have been in the surf for many a year–they have that sea glass patina which can be lovely, but smooths out details.  I went back to Goodwill this week to get a better close-up and they were gone!  On a related topic, someone bought the Venetian 3D picture too.  Hope it’s the same person, to minimize the fallout damage to innocent bystanders.

We love the bad craft projects:

What is it about clothes pins that says “let’s make a something” to bored crafty folk?    We personally think the chair works better than the clock; we can also testify that both were neatly done.  It must be lots of work to take all of those springs out of the clothes pins. Don’t you think Popsicle sticks would be an easier medium to use?

Kathy has a thing for these etched acrylic blocks–when they are detailed like these two:

The fish block was even signed along the right edge.  In case you’re wondering, the ghostly white thing floating above the fish, is the remains of the price tag.  That’s another pet peeve of ours!  The thrift store pricers stick those price tags in the most inconvenient places.

Because we needed just a little more fun, we headed out to the “bad” thrift store; it never disappoints.  Bingo, we saw these two within five minutes:

We think that maybe the young lady in the back got an eyeful of her competition, and knows she is in trouble.  Get used to it, girlfriend, life just ain’t fair.

Since we are trying to stay in the vicinity of a PG rating, it’s hard to know what to say about this pillow:

The pillow maker is not helping, since the pillow is aptly named “Puppy Love”.  I think people need to put their products in front of a focus group before rolling out something that is a straight up double entendre.

One of the things that can make a so-so product go bad, is the fabric used:

What in the name of Coco Channel would you make out of these fabrics?  Even the good quality plaid wool is homely; the polyester stuff is just nasty.

Last up:  as I was checking out, Kathy noticed this:

It’s a 1940′s wood veneer liquor cabinet.  When you pull down the front cover, you see the cool mirror interior.  We aren’t sure if the light in the back works, but it would put this right over the top.  We aren’t really into this kind of furniture; if it had been a 1950′s tiki bar, we might have had to wrestle for it.  ;- )

Our second anniversary is coming up, and we are open to writing any kind of celebratory post that you may want.  Please put your thinking caps on, and help us come up with a nifty topic.