I have been fighting a ridiculous cold/cough for the last month. Airlines should give you hazard pay for flying around surrounded by all those germs. I am only putting this out there, so if there are parts of this post that make zero sense, you will know why! Actually, there is a very good reason why Deb and I do this together, as we sometimes think it takes both of us to make up one coherent brain. If we didn’t have the other one to proofread, there would no hope for you understanding our insanity!
I am going to have to start out with an apology, and you probably all know what that means. Yes, there are clowns. We have had more than one person let us know that they didn’t used to mind clowns till we pointed out just how heinous they are:
Of course, the same day we saw the shirt we saw this:
They should have come as a package deal. What are you trying to do to that little tot? Scar him for life by making him put his most precious toys in this? Seriously, you deserve to be mentioned in the therapy sessions, if this is what you bring home as a toy box. And if you have the poor taste to use this as storage in your own room, you deserve the nightmares. As far as clowns go, I realize the toy box is not the worst, but this is still our reaction:
Maybe they are really huddling under that umbrella waiting for the DT-induced pink elephant to give them a bath. If so, who gave them the booze in the first place? Oh yeah, it was necessary after seeing the clown!
OK, enough of that. I don’t promise it will get better, but the clowns have left the building.
We had a problem with this next piece of art:
So what’s up with the monkey? Is our intrepid top-hatted waiter serving him to a patron? If so, I think I would prefer him cooked, not that I would prefer monkey in any form. Or, is he just being waylaid on his way to the table by a monkey with an urge to tipple? Either way, can’t see the point in this whole picture. It probably would have been better used as scratch paper.
This poor fella has been languishing on the shelves at the local Goodwill for weeks, with good reason:
We love cute bathroom wall things, which this is assuredly not. He looks a little “Silence of the Lambs” too. Just slightly deranged, and who wants that watching while you are attending to your personal business? You know something is truly bad when it hangs around for weeks, because most of the stuff we see is gone the next week. Can you believe it? Yeah, we can’t either.
Here is another example of “things we love” but not this one. Vintage suitcases are fun. I have one I use when I travel (well, not when I get on a plane, don’t think it would make it!) and they make great decorator items, but this one, not so much:
This really did look like one of those old-fashioned home hair dryer sets, but we did check and it was just a suitcase. If that didn’t make you want to reach for the Dramamine, I don’t know what would. On the bright side, I bet no one would EVER steal your suitcase. You could put the Hope Diamond in there and be perfectly safe.
On the other hand, we can not find even one good thing about these:
Nothing says class like molded plastic ballerina pictures right? Not only were they ugly pictures, but the dancers were pretty scary too. I have heard of fellas having “craggy” features, but these two were positively troll-like, and the girls weren’t much better. I bet you could cure your six-year-old whining for ballet lessons with a good long look at these. She would run screaming from the room and you would instantly become a soccer mom. I am not sure there is a cure for that, but pick your battles.
We always get a kick out of stuff that manages to hang around for a few decades in their original boxes. Sometimes, folks are just careful and store them that way, but many times those odd wedding presents get stuck in the cupboard to be forgotten for years. We kinda liked these, and were sorry they didn’t get used:
They depicted an old-fashioned ice skating scene done in rather ’60s colors, but bright and cheerful nonetheless. The presentation box was pretty cool in and of itself. How could you resist that display? These will probably never get used, as everyone knows you can’t put them in the dishwasher and keep them this way, but we sure hope someone brave and ambitious bought them to use.
Now we have an entry into our “one of everything except taste” category:
Hands, roses, snow globe, glitter, yes, it’s all there. Good taste? Not even in the ball park. Seriously, China has a lot to be ashamed for, but the resin tchotchke phenomenon is probably the absolute worst. I don’t think I have ever seen even one that had any redeemable value.
OK, I had better leave you on a high note. We had a couple Faberge-like eggs last week, so we didn’t want this one to feel left out, as it was pretty, too:
This was all done with cut-out layers of paper. Someone had the patience of a saint, and you can bet it wasn’t one of us. Luckily, we are able to leave these on the shelf, but I feel bad for all the work languishing there. We already adopt orphan linens; we can’t do eggs too. They could hatch and we would have chickens!
Hope spring is coming where you are, and the May flowers are heading your way! We will be back next week with more garage sale/thrift store shenanigans.