Happy Shoppers!

We were nearly giddy with delight to find ourselves shopping together again.  We hardly knew where to start or stop, but we managed to have a wonderful time.  We will always qualify our shopping as retail therapy, but it really is friendship therapy, and laughter therapy, and … you fill in the blank.  And if our husbands ask, that is our story, and we are sticking to it!

Yes, I am going to do it, I am going to get the two, yes, not one, but two scary clowns out of the way.  That way you can all relax, and totally enjoy the rest of the post.  At least as much as the rest of our silly finds will let you relax.  So brace yourselves, here they come:

On the surface, he looks all serene and peaceful, but he is looking way too casual for me to trust him.  I just know there is something up, and that “devil may care” pose is just a cover.  I’ve seen those movies.  (Just for the record, I haven’t–I am a huge coward, but I’ve seen the previews!)

This next one is just flat scary in his own right:

If you have that much leftover yarn, just make a hideous afghan, and be done with it.  At least the dog can sleep on the knitting.  They are color blind.  No one is going to be able to sleep with this watching them:

Now, deep breath, let it out, relax.  Ah there. Wasn’t that therapeutic?  Think of it as resetting your tacky meter.  I don’t guarantee the rest will be easy, but that’s just how it is.

Sometimes you just have to say, “Huh?”  Feel free to put forth your ideas.  We were stymied:

Just so you know, the same garage sale yielded this:

The whole shade was lightweight plastic and charming gold braid.  To be honest, the color was much worse in person, but Deb’s camera frequently invokes drastic measures to save itself.

And one more from the same sale.  Get your plastic fruit pix right here!

Sometimes these do-it-yourself kit things from the 50’s have a certain retro charm, but these fail on so many levels, it really makes me wonder how they thought they were ever going to succeed.  It’s enough to make you abandon the whole food pyramid, and head right for the fast food.  A closeup, in case you don’t believe me:

On a related plastic note.  I’m so happy to see the Amish moving up to the previous century.  They must have, if they are now making plastic pictures of themselves.  I sincerely mean no offense those lovely people.  I think the picture is in poor enough taste in, and of, itself.  The bridge in question probably has collapsed in shame, after having been used as the model for this thing:

So you go to a nice tropical island, you’re a motorcycle rider, and this becomes the obvious choice to bring home as a souvenir?

I ALWAYS wonder what the carver has been drinking before they start out on these, but I think they had better lay off, before it does irreparable damage to the rest of the world’s psyche.

Sometimes things aren’t offensive by themselves, but when lumped together in VERY large groups, you wonder what they were thinking:

Now I like watermelon as well as the next person, but I think you would suffer a surfeit of watermelon, and perhaps drown, if your whole kitchen were this covered in it.  Actually, just give me my watermelon in a slice, down by a nice lake, any day.

We like to imagine the original buyers of many of our favorite items to be exuding bad taste from head to toe.  We discovered the shoes we are sure they would be wearing:

They look like bowling shoes that fell into the gold paint and rhinestones.  How big does your hair have to be to pull these off?

Guess if you were wearing this coat, and the above shoes, no one would notice anything else about you:

You could probably pull of the world’s biggest bank heist, walk out, ditch the coat and shoes, and blithely wander undetected through an entire crowd of eyewitnesses.

Just so we don’t leave you with too awful a taste in your mouth, we wanted to close with this little cutie:

She was as round and roly-poly as a Weeble, and just too cute.  We waffled, as Deb has a fondness for these Asian things, but we settled on leaving her for someone else.  Hope she brightened their day.  She made us smile just seeing her, and we hope we made you crack a smile or two, as well!