Crazy and Not-So-Crazy Craft Patterns VII

We usually don’t write a normal, well, normal for us, post on Black Friday.  It’s a day of madness, in our opinion.  Nothing is worth the cost of standing in long lines in bad weather only to find out that the store is out of what you wanted.  People are kind of crazy too—like the ordinary rules of decency aren’t enforced on the day after we give thanks for everything wonderful in our lives.  We would rather talk about bad craft book patterns; they are waaay more amusing.

The book in question was published in 1972 which explains a lot:


It actually contains a few pretty cool ideas, along with quite a few bad ones.  I scanned a couple of the good ones just to keep everyone from feeling suicidal.

They were very proud of this wood, nail, wire, brads, and tack creation:

Pinhead Rooster

Here’s the rooster’s description from the book, “With a variety of tacks and nails, plus thin wire, an opulent texture is created producing the effect of a richly plumed three-dimensional bird.”  I’m on the fence with this one.  I look at it and think it’s interesting, and then I look at it again and think it looks like Pinhead from the Hellraiser movie.

I’m absolutely not on the fence about this:


I love batik and have made and collected some cool pieces over the years.  This poor rickets kitty would not be one of them.  I love that he is so cheerful with what is going on with his back legs.  Come to think of it, his front legs don’t look so hot, either.

I don’t have too much love for this pebbled bear candle either:


In fact, all of those candles need to be burned immediately!  I read the directions on how to make these, but I’m not telling because you know there is someone out there who would make them.  Just say “NO” to crafts like this!

We’ve seen many a picture made of dried flowers, leaves, sticks, and grasses:


Most of them are not good for much besides starting a fire, and there were plenty of those examples the book.  I didn’t scan any of them because they were sooo godawful.  Every once in a while, you come across some interesting efforts like these two pictures.  I’m sure they aren’t great art, but I would hang either of them on my walls for as long as they held together.  The problem with projects like these is that much depends on the artistic ability of the creator.  Most of us aren’t that artistic, including me.

I have a love-hate relationship with this project:


I like the face vase, but that flower arrangement has to go.  The problem is, what should go in her head?  I was thinking maybe some sweet alyssum:

Sweet Alyssum hair

Or even some fun succulents or a fern.  This seems to be a popular topic on Pinterest with many creative ideas.  I would definitely ditch the Seventies flower arrangement and go for a plant instead.

You know, macrame is useful for jewelry, some plant hangers, an occasional room divider or wall hanging:


What it isn’t good for is projects like this one.  McCall’s called it “Shadow Box Figures” which is a pretty bland description for a two foot by three-foot mess like this.  Hopefully a cat will help anyone misguided enough to hang this on the wall.

Here is another macrame mistake:


I was unable to adequately describe this, but luckily, McCall’s came to my rescue.  “A long green-beaded fringe cascading from gold bib gives a dramatic finish to a simple outfit.” Dear God, I hadn’t even noticed the green plastic beads until the description.  This was never good—I don’t care what McCall’s says.

I would be hard pressed to choose between the gold bib and this project:


This paper craft is labeled “Giant Jewelry” and is described as baroque.  Somehow, I don’t put tissue paper and baroque in the same sentence.  What outfit would these necklaces provide a dramatic finish for?  I’m pretty sure these necklaces can only be worn ironically.

This is a busy time of the year, so I’ll end on this next project.  This one’s for Kathy:


The cat is made from poppy seeds and the cheeks are lima beans.  You glue the whole thing to cardboard covered with construction paper.  I actually think that these would be a fun kid’s (young or old) project.  They are just goofy enough to make me smile.

Hope you had a successful hunt if you ventured out on Black Friday.  Stay tuned … the Christmas posts are coming up and we were thinking of doing a Top Ten post to end the year.  Thanks for reading!


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2 Responses to Crazy and Not-So-Crazy Craft Patterns VII

  1. Stephanie Gazell says:

    OMG, Macrame! We had a ton of it! LOL! Happy post-Thanksgiving to you, girls! Enjoy the weekend! :>)

    • kathy & deb says:

      I learned to macrame in high school and made ton’s of things that make me shudder now! Have yourself a wonderful weekend too!

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