Blind in One Eye, Can’t See Out of the Other

I’ve decided that I now have a firm excuse for any and all typos in my posts.  Found out that I tore the macula in my right eye a couple of weeks ago.  Nothing I did, and not too serious, well, other than needing surgery to correct it, but most important right now is that there is a serious blurriness to most computer screens and books.  Of course, it was my dominant eye, and so closing it really doesn’t help.  For some reason that does not keep me from trying to improve my vision that way.  I have also found that I don’t really appreciate eye doctors who show me computer screens while trying to explain what happened.  This after dilating my eyes first.  What is with these people?  This will be a fairly long process to return to normal, so in the meantime I am going to rely on our proofreader-in-chief to help me out, and ask for forgiveness on any craziness you may see.  It will be entirely my fault.

We were greeted with these standing at the entrance to our reliable thrift store last week:

You can see how tall they are just by comparing the countertop height to them, and what is up with the guy with the head wound?

Not that it might not be an improvement in looks, but seriously, how is he still on his feet?  This looks like the sort of thing you see in National Geographic Specials when they excavate a tomb dating to a major conflict.  “Hey Saul, look how this guy died!!” On a really scary note, they were gone this week.

We had barely recovered from the twins when we were presented with this:

At first we thought they were just some of those big-eyed orphan children prints, but lo and behold they were not orphans at all.  Meet John and Kathleen (Caroline?) “Kenedy”.  No, seriously, that is what it said.  I was terrified, personally—they look possessed to me.  I did a quick internet search, and was not able to find these portraits in any context.  So, I am not sure if they were made up completely, or based on some long-lost photograph, but the artist really shouldn’t have.  These were also missing this week.  I think folks may have lost their minds completely due to the unstable nature of the world right now.

We are so sorry, Mr. Owl:

Anthropomorphism at its worst and topped with glitter to boot.  Come on, I dare you to find a Xmas tree that would be even the slightest bit more decorative with this hanging on it.  Maybe if you hung it way in the back, under some large full branches and forgot to remove it before you threw out the tree.  Yeah, that would do it.  On the other hand, maybe it would be a good idea to ask him how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

We have been staying home way too much lately, judging by how much this made us laugh:

OK, I am sorry, but I am pretty sure we know what vibration does in the “real world” and it has nothing to do with a child’s toy.  Then again, maybe Mom was thinking ahead at birthday time and decided she could kill two birds with one stone.  Little Junior’s science-based gift, and maybe later it could find its way to her nightstand, and Dad would never notice it.  It was pretty obscene how hard we were laughing.  Good thing the store was more empty than not, because explaining that one, or having someone wander over to see what the giggling was about would be a wee bit embarrassing.

That may bring us to this sign:

Heck, not only do we have ourselves, we have each other.  What more do you need?  This might explain how we have been able to churn out posts for over 10 years.  We are endlessly amusing, at least in our own minds!

This sign may also be us:

Maybe we aren’t quite that bad, but we tip the scales a tiny bit too far onto the ornery side if nothing else.  We are like those couples that you are always thankful found each other, so they didn’t mess up two complete other couples.  Really, try shopping with us some time.  Before we had gone 15 feet into the store, you would probably be putting a paper bag over your head, and hoping no one would think we were all together.

We couldn’t decide if this was hand made, or commercially done.  Either way it failed:

Seems like a huge waste of beads.  It fails as a bag because it is unlined, so all your stuff would show through, and not in a good way.  It doesn’t close very well:

Deb had to put down her stuff just do manhandle the gold beaded strap through the small yellow closure, and to top it all off, it’s just plain ugly.  Also gone this week.  I do believe the store had a half price sale last weekend, but how desperate would you have to be to think this was worth snapping up?  Even the beads aren’t good for anything.

We hope that all our loyal readers in far-flung corners of the globe are staying safe and healthy.  Please wear a mask, wash your hands, and look out for one another.  Oh, and keep an eye peeled for two crazy ladies shopping.  You never know where we will be! (Well, as long as you are here in Ft. Collins!)