It’s Too Darn Hot

I know I am not the only person in the country, or the world for that matter, humming this tune under my breath. (As an aside, if it were as hot in the video as it is here there would be NO dancing around like that!) We hit 103° on Tuesday, and we have been in the upper 90s every day this week. I might not be so snarky about it, as I know others have it worse, but I have no air conditioning, and no sprinkler system, so I am running around like a mad woman as soon as I get home from work trying to water everything that is drooping from the heat. When I am done, the only relief is taking a shower and going to bed with my hair soaking wet, as a sort of personal swamp cooler. When it is this hot, folks here head to the mountains or off to the Poudre river; it’s wall-to-wall inner tubes on that stream this week, but I am too busy watering my plants for that relief.

Garage sales have been a bit off due to the heat too. Lots of folks posting ads, then chickening out. Wimps (like I should talk)! We did find some crazy things at the thrift store, as usual, so you are in luck, if you like to think of this drivel that way.

I always try to like these:

I mean what’s not to like about a good pair of long horns? Unfortunately, these were made out of some sort of weird plastic. At that point they are just ugly and not the least bit amusing. When they are real, you have that kitsch factor that makes them fun, plus if you have a Cadillac convertible, they may be required hood ornaments in the West. When they are made of plastic, you are just a rhinestone cowboy wanna be. Oh look, another song!

Here is another thing I wanted to like:

These are usually quilt blocks, and I am sure these were as well in a former life, and if they were charmingly worked into a quilt, I would have been enchanted by them, but honest, they are not good enough to frame. And, if you must frame them, can you at least get the whole thing in there instead of cutting off the poor birds’ beaks and feet? Hopefully they didn’t cut the quilt block, but I seriously doubt they were that smart. Probably lopped Grandma’s quilt into a bunch of pieces so everyone could have it, and now, no one has much of anything.

Now this we did like:

I do like these wild ’60s starving artist paintings. If it had been smaller, I might have snagged it for resale, but the thought of boxing it was too intimidating. Can’t you just see it with your harvest gold carpet and your nice avocado green sofa? Add a dripping oil lamp and Bob’s your Uncle.

We have no idea where they were going with this:

It was pretty large and pretty ugly and that is all the pretty that is available for it. To top it all off, the lily part was in semi 3D. It sort of stuck out here and there. Calla lily still life with wilty oranges anyone? And what were they thinking with that odd silver background? The perspective on the pot is a bit suspect as well. Not that I am saying I could do better, but I would have the good sense to toss this on a bonfire after I painted it.

We still see these pretty often :

I don’t think we have ever seen a multi-color one, though. Usually they are all pink or maybe a pale blue. Honestly, we were sort of pleased by the brighter colors, but since Deb and I are not “boudoir” kind of gals what would we do with it? It had been through some rough times too, as it was a little squished and the back was kind of sad:

If Ramses would sit on it regally, it could have been worth it, but he would just bat it around and snag the crochet, so we left it for someone else to find.

This was so awful that there was no way it was escaping our ridicule:

This tot has a whole lot prayers that NEED to be answered. Like please, let this whole plaque fall on the floor and break into a million pieces. Let me have a pet that doesn’t look like a naked mole rat. Can I please go to bed without wearing a giant hat? Save me from my doll coming alive in the middle of the night and eating me. All this is before we address the real culprit. Does God only love little girls, and could we talk about that? I don’t think we should be going there, and I have some doubts about the motivation of the person who designed this mess in the first place. Let’s not go too far to the dark side, but you get what I mean.

I think I saved the best for last, or maybe not, you decide:

I had to ask about the cute little Singer 99 in the wood case, like I need another sewing machine (did I mention I already bought my second Featherweight?), but they want $299 for it. Are they out of their minds? It will sit around for ages at that price. It may not even work, but the good thing about these is that you can pretty much fix them all yourself, should you feel the need for it.

Oh wait, you have questions about the pink thing at the top? Well, really, so did we. For some reason I can not see anything but two pink lions, but we are sure it is a bra for breast cancer awareness, and it might have been something really cool, as it has a plaque and everything but we just didn’t seem to want to head that way, so there is sits. Probably cost more than two of the sewing machines. Plus as a wall decoration, it really isn’t that attractive, unless you like lions.

Hope you are staying cool in your part of the country. Sending rainy thoughts to one and all.

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2 Responses to It’s Too Darn Hot

  1. Diane Rhodes says:

    Thank you for giving me some out-loud laughs with this one!

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