Crafting Craziness

Oh my goodness, there has been a LOT of crafting stuff at the thrift store. Some of it is vintage, but some of it just might be from when folks were stuck at home during the lockdown. Those who didn’t get lost in the banana/sourdough bread baking craze, were busy learning to crochet, paint, or sew. Just like most of my first projects, those first attempts would probably be better off in a fire pit, or at the back of a closet. Unfortunately, some of the fails have made their way to us.

This painting project was bad enough before it became a clock:

I just can’t deal with the clock hands in the mouth, although why that bothers me more than the weird perspective on the upper teeth, or anything else painted on this surface, is a mystery. Maybe because it looks like he’s vomiting the hands? Wondering what the clock was before someone got out their acrylics?

It wasn’t much to begin with, and now it’s less.

I have some more yarn crimes:

This is more of a misdemeanor than a felony, but why would anyone want this? I get that cactus aren’t everyone’s jam because they are pretty pokey, but this is taking the pendulum too far in the other direction. At least when your real cactus get dusty you can just put it under a faucet; vacuuming your cactus seems kind of weird and not vacuuming it seems pretty sneezy.

I can remember making a hat pincushion in Girl Scouts:

Mine was fabric with a tuna fish can base, but I could get behind this crochet version if it weren’t Day-Glo colors. I guess you would never lose your pincushion under piles of stuff; the light reflecting off this would attract your attention no matter the distractions. I would rather crochet avalanche safety scarves with this yarn. I’m pretty sure they could locate you from the glow under the snow.

What do you do with your old Crocs?

Most of us wear them in the garden until they fall apart, but hey, you do you. If making a doll out of shoes is your thing, than knock yourself out. But, for the love of God, please keep your craziness at home so the rest of us don’t have to look at it! The thought of wearing these Crocs with those eyes would make me want to NEVER look at my feet.

Oh vintage craft projects:

They don’t get done, even after thirty years, but people won’t throw them away because someone might want to do one. This kind of logic totally ignores the fact that no one has wanted to do this in a couple of decades—what’s going to change? I used to buy these and try to sell them for minimal $$ on Etsy; I figured that with a national audience those one or two people would find the kits. I rarely sold them, so there aren’t people out there clamoring to do yarny kits. Lenny wouldn’t be quite as tempting as this next kit:

This is kind of cute in a bright ’70s kind of way. A kid might like to have this on the wall in their room, especially if they love kitties or hate butterflies. It might make a fun pillow, too. It’s pretty sweet, and it seems like someone might want … oh, oh, I’m falling into the “someone might like this” trap. I need to stay strong. ( Kathy here: I would have bought it and done it, but someone had already started the kit, and I hate dealing with other peoples mistakes, so it saved me from myself! )

Good thing that we KNOW that no one will want this Sculpy clay project:

We think that it’s the baby Jesus with the rest of the creche is missing, but looking at it, we might be wrong—it could be the Holy Ghost. It’s pretty white and awfully featureless for a baby! And pity the poor baby lying in the noodley hay, or maybe hayish spaghetti.

I picked up this book thinking that it will be a good source for one of our bad craft posts:

Colorful crafts, check. 1970s publishing date, check. But, these pictures are not awful for the most part—how can that be? It’s our experience that 1970s crafts = frightful décor; it’s so hard when your world view gets turned upside down!

Book defense, Exhibit 1:

This piece of china painting has that mid-century wow! I love those peacock feathers in this pattern; it’s spectacular! I don’t have the skill to make this, but for those with the painting ability, this book gives you the directions you need to make it. I wish I could, but I know that my plate would just end up in a thrift store being mocked by other shoppers. But, that’s because I can’t paint, not because the project isn’t attractive.

Exhibit 2: Now, this is something that I might be able to do:

I can paint designs on little wooden balls, drill holes, and connect them to make birds. I think I might make some of these for my mom. They are small and cute, perfect for someone without a ton of extra room. I wouldn’t make the tree, but these might be cute hanging on one of her plants.

Exhibit 3: Or, I could make these decorations:

They would be pretty adorable decorating presents instead of a bow. Again, small wooden balls, painted with designs and glued together is in my wheelhouse. I just don’t think that I can make fun of this book; it has lots of fun projects for all levels of abilities. Mind blown! Good thing I bought it! 8-D

I hope that everyone has avoided frostbite in those parts of the world that are freezing right now. It was horrid this week with snow and temperatures in the single digits. But, being CO, we’re looking at 50 plus degrees next week with lots of sunshine! It’s time for spring bulbs to start popping. Have a good week, and we’ll be back next Friday with more crazy finds.

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