Our Funny Valentines

I’ve always thought that the song My Funny Valentine was insulting. No one wants to be told that their looks are laughable! C’mon man, you can do better than that, and I’m addressing both sexes. But, our Valentine’s Day pictures are hopefully laughably awful, so maybe Frank was singing about them and not some sweet young thing head-over-heels about him. My Valentine knows better and this song has never been on his playlist.

There is an announcement about the caption contest at the end of the post. If you entered, please check to see if you won!

We just couldn’t even with this Cupid:

The worst of all possible crochet projects

I know we’ve showing you lots of bad crochet; there is someone in town who is both a prolific and a horrific crocheter. I hope it’s just one person who doesn’t realize that the fruits of her crochet hook migrate to the local thrift store as soon as the door closes behind her. God help us if she has friends.

This picture is for those who might wonder what Yarn Cupid’s face looks like. The curious should probably brace themselves. The rest of you should just skip ahead:

The most terrifying part of this is that he wasn’t at the thrift store for long. We’re hoping that someone did an unauthorized dispatch of Cupid to save us all. More likely some myopic shopper thought it was fun and took it home.

Now, this sign was at the store for while:

I wonder whom this love light was supposed to shine on? It’s hard to think of an occasion where the word, LOVE, illuminated in circus lights, would be a fitting decoration. And, it’s huge! Those floor tiles are a foot across, so this declaration is over three feet long. You gotta be serious, when things get that big. On second thought, maybe they are advertising LOVE so the bigger, so the better in that case. I don’t have any ideas, outside of Mustang Ranch, or Amsterdam’s De Wallen, where you might want to advertise love for sale.

This is an example of how we determine whether this is a blog-worthy find or not::

If your sweetie buys this to decorate the table for a romantic Valentine’s Day dinner, well, they had better know their partner pretty darn well. It’s very childish and innocent, which doesn’t usually describe the intent of most couple’s Valentine’s Day celebrations.. If a teacher is using this to decorate a classroom, well, yeah that’s pretty cute.

We were trying to figure out what that purple and blue thread stuff was, and then noticed the heart pin next door:

Both of these pins look homemade. The one with the thread hair is kind of weird. Is it a woman wearing a dress with a purple heart on her chest? I just don’t care enough to figure it out. The heart pin is just fine, except for the blue and purple candle, lipstick (?) near the bottom. This heart pin would have been something I might have worn for Valentine’s Day when I worked at a nursing home. Calendar orientation was just one of the services that I offered. But I would have knocked that blue thing off! I’m on the fence about receiving this as a Valentine’s Day gift from my husband. It would have been an okay present, especially compared to what is next in this post.

Well, this might be a good Valentine’s Day present:

if the person getting the present is under 8 years old. It could work for a boy or girl, especially if they liked frogs—I did at that age! Or in the case of my nephew, he and his fiancé have a tank of frogs in their house. One of them might like to get this stuffed animal from the other; hopefully they know each other well enough to know that. Other than those two examples, this is a big, ol’ NO! This is not a Valentine’s Day present, in case you were wondering.

That thing was a NO:

so this thing is a HELL NO!!! Good grief, it’s not even okay as a decoration anywhere, except for a bizarro opposite day Valentine’s Day celebration. Exactly what kind of animal is it? Maybe a weird mouthless hamster? A snoutless, mouthless bear? No particular animal at all? The last idea is maybe the real answer, nothing in particular.

This last picture is the nuclear option of NO, NO, NO, HELL NO:

OMG, it’s musical, lighted, with fake flowers and a stuffed bear. What more could a person want? Well, maybe something not so tacky and fake. Do you think it plays Afternoon Delight? Can you imagine the bear singing that to you? The only thing worse might be I Want to Know What Love Is coming out of a bear. I don’t think that they thought this all the way through and neither did the person who bought it.

We do think that if you buy this, you’re on the right path:

Just add champagne, some matches, and soft music/favorite movie and it looks like a nice Valentine’s Day celebration. Being involved with someone is about making connections. This works for me—connect me to some good wine and snuggle time on the couch.

We hope you all have a marvelous Valentine’s Day!

***We are trying to contact the winners of the caption contest last week. I have prizes! D, who submitted: Whats for dinner? is getting first prize and Colleen, who submitted: Sometimes you just have to choose necessity over dignity, came second. Please email me to chose your prizes. Thanks to everyone who entered!***

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2 Responses to Our Funny Valentines

  1. Nilsa says:

    The “nuclear option of NO, NO, NO, HELL NO”… I would take it apart to see what I can repurpose for my dioramas. The yarn Cupid looks like a demon that escaped from hell. LOL

    • kathy & deb says:

      It’s a good thing that cooler heads prevail, because I’m pretty sure we would be arrested if we acted out on our opinions about the thrift store wares! Recycling sounds about right for that poor bear, flowers, lights, and whatever is playing the music. You would think that something in that mess would be usable, some how, some way. Yeah, Yarn Cupid is in the top 5 of bad things that we have EVER seen! So glad this comment made it; thanks for trying again. Deb

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