Gobble ‘Til You Wobble

Gosh, I remembered that the Thanksgiving post needed to be written this week!! Yay, I’ll count that as a victory. I’m very absentminded lately—let’s blame the wind! At least it isn’t blowing the smoke from the latest wildfire our way. It’s pretty late in the year, but there is another fire up near Rocky Mountain Park; it’s been extremely dry and windy here, so no surprise that a downed power line sparked up the tinder. It’s been that kind of year.

Sorry, but we didn’t find a cranberry server for a giveaway. Maybe we can find one for Christmas—keep your fingers crossed.

Best get going; we have found a bumper crop of Thanksgiving funnies and head-scratchers.

Poor little plastic turkey:

It’s so ashamed that it won’t even make eye contact. Maybe it’s the green ?scarf? around its neck, or that corn kernel texture on its body. I somehow remember that Kathy bought this because she felt sorry for it. Hey, Ms Editor, correct me if I’m wrong. ( Yep, too tender hearted by half! )

Wow, cornhusk dolls can be really attractive:

Then there’s this one. I don’t know why, but I think of Shirley MacLaine when I look at it—could it be the red hair and the quirky smile? BTW, I really like Shirley, even though I don’t like this scarecrow. I should have been a good citizen, bought it, and put it in the backyard for the deer to eat. That would earn me a positive mark on the old karmic balance sheet.

Since the scarecrow lands more on the general Autumn decoration than Thanksgiving specifically, I’ll throw a couple more general Fallish pictures here:

You can tell this is your fall wreath because there’s a red leaf on top of the burlap ribbon. Otherwise it could just as easily be an oversized bent-over ballerina’s derriere as a tulle covered wreath. It reminds me of the pile of stuff that ends up in a windy corner of my backyard. You keep looking at it, but it’s not anything but a pile o’ junk!

But, you know, that wreath maybe better than this:

I say that because this person had the skill to crochet a fairly intricate design and this is what they chose to make. Unlike the wreath, I’m pretty sure this is a faithful rendering of the pattern. Why oh why would they squander their talent on this?

Here’s a close-up just because I can:

The nut pick was just bad, but not comically bad. I probably should have taken a closer picture of the mess at the bottom. Oh well, wasted opportunities since this was GONE the next week! We were amazed that ARC wanted $4 for this, and then someone bought it! Maybe someone needed to balance their karma and threw themselves on this crochet catastrophe to save the rest of us.

This next turkey has me so confused:

Is it really a turkey, or could it be a turkey vulture? That head is pretty bare, just like a vulture head. I suppose it would be pretty tough to fly with that huge tail, so there’s that. Anyway, the maker has their nerve wishing us a Happy Thanksgiving with that mess as a decoration—it’s a total waste of feathers and fake fur.

I can see that someone has been into the jellied cranberries early; hope he had a server:

I don’t have too much against the poor pilgrim, except he seems too happy and he really needs to wash his face. My problem is that he found a rare miniature turkey, that’s only half the size of a wild turkey. Honestly, it’s smaller than his head! Where’s the sport in that? Plus, I’m pretty sure there isn’t enough meat on those bones to feed one person.

There is plenty wrong with this turkey, too:

But, we just couldn’t get over the material used for his tail feathers. Bluish-purple gingham and pumpkin themed fabric? Okay, weird but maybe it’s just an artistic difference. I’m not so sure that you can write off the bows and gold lamé spats on the feet. And let’s not ignore the elephant in the room—that turkey is “gifted” in the snood department! I sincerely hope that someone drags him home so that we don’t have to look at him again.

This is my kind of big goofy turkey:

It’s a hat!!! Who knew that the best use of a fabric turkey was just sticking it on your head? I realize that it has fur, but I don’t care because you can actually do something with it. I’m sure every person who sees the wearer is going to have a big belly laugh, which is just what this country needs. I guess whoever wears this is a real patriot. I’ve been keeping my eyes peeled around town because it was gone, too, and I desperately need a belly laugh myself.

We’re into the alarmingly bad ceramics project portion of the post. First up:

I think that they are meant to be holders for some autumnal flower arrangement. But, what strikes me the most, besides their unarguable awfulness, is that Tom Turkey looks furious and Jessica Rabbit Turkey has quite a bit of eye makeup on for a turkey. How could someone who obviously couldn’t paint, manage to get expressions on these big hunks of clay? Also, you would need about $100 of silk flowers to make an adequate-size arrangement for these bad boys and they would still look sad!

Where the heck do they store this thing after Thanksgiving?

It was all of two feet long and probably at least a foot high. You know it weighs a ton; poor grandpa hates pulling it out of the bottom cupboard where it lives eleven months a year almost as much as he hates shoving it back in. Seems like a lot of work for something this ugly.

Well, we hope we’ve gotten you off to a good start on the holiday marathon. Please take a moment to enjoy the holiday and the people you spend it with.

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4 Responses to Gobble ‘Til You Wobble

  1. Stephanie J Gazell says:

    These were all too much fun! Hope you gals have a wonderful Thanksgiving! If my homemade cranberry sauce comes out firm enough (it didn’t last year: think cranberry soup) I’ll get to use my cranberry server (thank you again!) Happy Thanksgiving to All!

    • kathy & deb says:

      Yay, so glad you enjoyed the post. We are hoping that you have a wonderful, disaster-free Thanksgiving and thank you for giving the cranberry server a good home. Hugs, Deb and Kathy

  2. LOL, you just save these up—all year, I think! Too much fun, and yes those are FTD turkeys for flowers—quite popular in the 90’s. Hugs, Sandi

    • kathy & deb says:

      To tell the truth, 90% of this year’s post came from the last month and a half at the thrift store—it was a real horror show this fall. Every week there was something just awful—lucky us, and I mean that sincerely! I can’t believe that those ceramic turkeys were commercially made,; could you imagine getting them from someone. I would have to call immediately and make sure they were okay!! Thanks for reading, and I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Hugs, Deb

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