Hats Off

Whoo Hoo, Deb and I went shopping this morning! Wore our masks and cruised the thrift store. Next week, after I have had my second shot, we are going to go all out and go to garage sales together. We won’t know how to handle ourselves, but we are going to enjoy trying. Finally we will have tons of new photos of zany things to share, as well as plenty of time together to be snarky about them. Someone pointed out last week, that we sure have crazy stuff in Colorado. I am here to tell you, that after traveling around and looking at stuff in other places, we do NOT have the market cornered on weirdness.

Last week, Deb posted an adorable suitcase. She forgot; I have its long-lost sister:

I purchased it several years ago, for the fun of taking it to a doll convention we were attending. I thought it was cute, and it was before vintage suitcases became all the rage, so it was reasonably priced. While mine does not have the fabulous purple lining, just plain burgundy, it still has that lovely vintage feel, and plenty of pockets for storing things. Plus a little spotted photo bomber!

I love that old suitcases are half the size of modern ones. Vintage clothes take up a whole lot more room, but you carried less of them, so it was a win. Now you see folks dragging around stuff the size of a steamer trunk for a weekend. We don’t need that much space, unless it is to bring home all the dolls we buy at convention. It goes empty and comes back full.

Hubby and I went to garage sales last weekend, and I spotted this:

Gloria, what were you thinking? Or if this was a gift, I bet Gloria was pissed. I don’t even know where to begin. What does the teddy have to do with the Philippines, and who needs rickrack on their seashells? And while we are asking questions, where is my sledge hammer when I need it? I have no idea what they thought the value of this creation was, but most of their stuff was pretty pricey, so I am betting at the end of the day, Gloria had to take it back inside and suffer with it some more. Better her than me.

I also spotted this in a free pile:

I had to speak to myself sternly to keep from bringing it home, as what hostess with the mostess, doesn’t need an Extend-a-Top? While I think the idea is pretty clever, everyone had a card table, and a few extra chairs back then, so why not make the table bigger? But, I have visions of someone on one side of table planting their big meaty elbows on the table, over balancing it, and sending the gravy and all the assorted crystal crashing to the floor. Maybe you could work out a deal where everyone leans on it at once, or take turns holding the table down and cutting your steak on the opposite sides of the table. Bet she used it once, tossed it back in the box, and sent it to depths of the basement forever. Doesn’t look like the Wico Corporation fared much better, as I couldn’t find info on the company that might have made this.

Deb was kind enough to share some pix that she took last week, so I can just point at them and laugh. Take this lamp, please:

I don’t know what that base has to do with that shade, but I guess as they were both too ugly to be asked to dance, they might as well hang out together. My dad just pointed out the lamp looks like something that would be in the common room of a frat house. Seems about right. At least two moms redecorated and donated pieces to their sons to take off to college. They were probably relieved to get them out of the house. The kids and the lamp parts.

Here is another crazy thing, and we will hope there are not too many of these roaming around the country:

A lot of people with too much time on their hands, should go get a watch and save the rest of us the pain. Overall, plastic canvas crafts should be outlawed on general principles. A clock is supposed to hang on the wall, and I am guessing this would be a kitchen clock, so just imagine it covered in dust and grease. Oh, ick. So add grubby to the overall triteness and this just needs to go away. Probably wouldn’t even make a decent Frisbee. But you could try tossing it over the fence for the neighbor’s dog, and hope he likes to eat plastic … and yarn.

Here is another hat that shouldn’t be:

You tell me how long you are going to last before that cat lashes out with the “murder mitts” (i.e., paws) for making her wear such crappy hat? I think there is a simmering madness here just waiting to come out. Cats don’t enjoy hats, and they are not dumb enough to wear them just to please their human. It is the human’s job to please the cats, not the other way around, and don’t you forget it.

I also have some concerns about the shape of these coffee pots:

That spout just can’t be efficient. Seems like a spot to collect the dregs from the pot, and make sure every cupful has a surfeit of them. Makes sure you don’t show up at that house for coffee. They are not particularly graceful, either. Decorative is totally out of the question as well. I bet these were supposed to be gaily tole painted by the crafty sixties lady, but at least she was smart enough to let them be. Heck, they wouldn’t even make a decent watering can. Smoosh them up and hope the recycling center has no taste.

Just so you don’t miss him, look what you can find in a Trader Joe’s bag:

Go ahead, I dare you to try and pick up that bag. It would make the reaction to the cat hat look tame, and no, we have never tried to add a hat to Ramses. Maybe for Halloween he can dress up as a leopard.

Till next week, stay safe, take care, and get your shot!

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2 Responses to Hats Off

  1. Too Funny! That clock is a hoot! And weird frisbee it is!

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