Fowl Play

Thanksgiving looks really different this year for most of us. The thing that hasn’t changed is that we’ve seen so much Thanksgiving blog fodder, starting from just before Halloween up to this week. Which means we’ve been subjected to a pretty constant stream of holiday badness—just like always! God help us, Christmas decoration started showing up a couple of weeks ago, so we had Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas crowding around each other all at once. It was disorienting—which honestly isn’t hard for us, since we’re teetering on the edge of not knowing what day it is constantly. I feel for retailers who need to beef up their sales while trying to compensate for fewer shoppers with smaller budgets.

All of this week’s offerings are turkeys in one way or another. We are constantly amazed that such a stately bird can be portrayed in so many zany ways.

We kind of liked this pin:

For us, the problem is paying four whole dollars for a pin that we would wear once a year! Plus, it has some wear on it, so we really think it’s probably worth a dollar or two. Yes, we are that cheap! If we’re going to plunk $4 on a well-loved brooch, it needs to be something better than this. Now, I noticed it was gone fairly soon after we took this picture, so obviously, thriftiness doesn’t run rampant in Fort Collins.

We have quite a few crafty turkeys. I want to start with the ones that made us laugh:

If you were hosting Thanksgiving dinner, you could do worse than have these around the house full of nuts, candy, or even candles. I think it’s the giant fake leaves as tails that put these little pots over the top. The googly eyes don’t hurt, either. Although, on second thought, the candles would need to be somewhere supervised so you don’t turn a holiday gathering into a four-alarm fire. The other good thing about turkey clay pots is that you could fill them up with leftover snacks and send them home with your company. Gift bags are popular, so I don’t think gift turkeys are a bridge too far.

I think that this felted turkey could have been a craft project, slightly more advanced than the flower pots, but still homemade:

I’m less enthusiastic about this because it isn’t all that useful, and felt is sort of problematic on a dinner table full of feasting revelers. I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t look the same splashed with gravy or whipped cream. It also has a surprise item in the tail area:

I’m not sure why it needed leaves in amongst the felted tail feathers, buttons, and stitching. I also didn’t realize how thick the turkey was with three good-sized layers. It’s not awful, but not as successful as it wants to be.

Now we’re veering off into the danger zone of holiday crafts. There is a lot going on here, and I have questions:

So, obviously, this is supposed to be a turkey. You tell me that the beak doesn’t look like a duck bill! The weird deflated balloon wattle hanging over it doesn’t distract me one second from the unmistakable round flatness of the beak, er, bill. And, is that ropey hair on top of its head? It sure doesn’t look like feathers. Turkeys are kind of sleek on top, nearly bald if I remember rightly. The tail feathers are okay, but why have the batting show? It’s distracting me from the attempt at folksy charm. This may just be a fabric representation of a Turduck without the en,which is just a waste of everyone’s time!

Well, this turkey is certainly big! If you put some sealer over the paint it could sit outside, which is a point in its favor:

I’m going to just ignore the pilgrim’s hat because it’s necessary to make sure people know that this is a Thanksgiving turkey. What fascinated me about this project is that apparently they painted it with a paintball gun which at least has a fun factor going for it. Hopefully, all the neighbors don’t get their paintball guns out and join the party. This turkey could get lots crazier over the course of one afternoon.

I know that the turkey in the foreground isn’t homemade. These things always mystify me—why does a turkey wear a pilgrim’s outfit and carry a fabric gun, or even a real gun? And looking at said gun, I hate to even speculate what’s in the muzzle. I hope it’s not my least favorite emoji!

No, the amusing part of this picture is what’s going on in the background. Those weird clay pot Pilgrims are certainly being propositioned by a doll shooting for a scarlet “A” of her own. They are probably thinking, “For what we are about to receive, we give thanks!”. We can’t blame shoppers for setting this up; it was all staff.

I don’t know if this was a regular fabric turkey that someone “enhanced” or did it start out all sparkly and bohemian?

You can’t tell in the picture how much sparkle was in that dress. I’m not sure about the nylons (?) without shoes—it is pretty weird looking. I think that they missed the boat with that hat. It would be amusing if they had her wearing something feathered. As we like to say to each other, “We know why this was dropped at a thrift store.” It’s pretty hopeless.

We saw this enormous thing at Joann’s over near the cute squirrels and foxes made out of natural materials. It isn’t bad, necessarily, you would just need a big space to do it justice:

And, definitely not near your fireplace with a merrily burning fire. Again, it’s not a great Thanksgiving if you have to call 911.

I think this was at Tuesday Morning:

Which means it already failed to sell at a different store. I want to like it, even if it’s distressed to look old and has a white metal pumpkin for a body. I think that the tail feathers are cool and interesting, which is distracting me from the rest of it. I want to make a coach for Cinderella from that pumpkin body—Salagadoola mechicka boola
Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo
!

You can’t go wrong with simple decoration and this is a classic:

Just don’t try to pull the turkey from the oven with this on your hand. You could get a serious burn, and start a fire if you weren’t careful.

Don’t forget that we’re doing the drawing for the Whiting-Davis chainmail purse this evening, or maybe tomorrow morning. I forgot to mention that it still has its little mirror in the interior pocket. All you have to do is comment here, on Facebook, or Doll Divas/In the Pink, or email us to get in on the drawing.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of our readers in the U.S. Hope everyone stays safe, no matter where you are. Wear a mask when you have to be around others. The lives you save may be someone you love, or a healthcare worker!

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