Well, here comes the final Christmas rush. Wrap the presents, make those last cookies, cross the treacherous icy road to deliver said cookies to friends and neighbors, and hope there is just a bit of energy left to plop in front of the TV with a well deserved cup of mulled wine and watch White Christmas for the millionth time. Every year I try desperately to get stuff done early, so I can enjoy a bit more of the holiday. Yeah, right. We all know how that goes! Hopefully you are on schedule, so you can sit back and enjoy a last Christmas post from us. Grab your alcoholic drink of choice and take a break. You deserve it!
There are a whole lot of ideas out there that seemed like a good idea at the time; let’s take a look at a few that maybe didn’t live up to expectations. I am really not sure how we feel about this:
On the one hand, it might be a pretty clever idea, but Rudy looks like he has been tippling out of his own head a bit much already, and as for the person that owns him, turning him over, filling him up with wine, and taking a big sip is just a recipe for glitter poisoning. Hey, I bet that is a thing—ask anyone who has ever been glitter bombed! All in all, a semi-craft-fail. They tried.
Kind of like these gals:
I bet these angelic decorations looked, well, angelic in the directions. They came out sort of sad, droopy, and uninspired. Not to mention that this particular pink is just not a Christmas color, unless it is a pink aluminum Christmas tree, and this is surely not one. I will give them kudos for trying to starch them, as that is a tough job no matter how hard you try. These ladies just need a bit more backbone, or starch, or a trash can.
On the other hand, the only thing they tried on this was to terrify little children:
Go ahead, just hang up a stocking like this. It will haunt you all Christmas long just waiting for a clown to appear! This would be a better threat than telling kids that Santa is watching them. Let’s just get creepy all at once. We really wondered what the story was behind this. We were just hoping that some poor sap’s nickname was not Bozo, although that might have been safer than a clown looming on the horizon.
While we are at it, here is another one with barely an A for effort:
It takes a lot of imagination to see the moose here. Poor thing ringed with candy canes and blessed with a bow tie. He had a fight with a Christmas sleigh harness and came out on the losing end, hence the jingle bells tangled up in his antlers. On top of that, he lost an eye along the way, and has been forced to hold up a goofy sign. I can’t see this inspiring anyone to kiss anyone or anything, and hopefully some poor soul did not receive it as a gift. Although it might explain the overall squishedness of the thing. The bottom of the Christmas decoration box will do that to a moose.
We spotted yet more Xmas crafting books. Not the least bit inspired to bring these home:
How desperate are you for a craft? Seriously, if you channeled all the energy into ANYTHING else, think what you could accomplish. (As an aside, I am going to give them an A+ on that dog; he is pretty cute). If the front of the book didn’t encourage you to give up your crochet hook, surely the back will:
Could be worse, but could be a whole lot better too, and you know in most folks’ hands, these would come out droopy and sad like the angels and then where would you be? Honestly, make a scarf, the recipient would be a whole lot happier.
At least the owners of this kit had the good sense to leave it securely sealed in the wrapper:
I just don’t even know where to start, although hovering over the pic might be a good place for you to start, so you can see Deb’s title. Seems like a whole lot of work for Mr. Snowman Downer and his wife Daisy Depressing. The kit insists that it is creative, but I think the most creative thing you could do with it, is figure out how many excuses you can make not to actually accomplish it. Full marks to the person who promptly donated it, instead of letting it near those developing young minds it was intended for.
Well, it’s in Christmas colors:
And I suppose those are trees and a poinsettia, but overall it just makes us yearn for a beaded safety pin basket, and you know how fond of those we are. Honestly, what good is this? The beads are plastic, so unless you want to asphyxiate yourself on chemicals, it’s a lousy hot pad. If you want to use it as a table decoration, whatever you set on it had better have a pretty big base, or it is just going to tip over. Even a big vase of flowers might not be a good idea. The largest poinsettia plant you can find might be a good fit, especially if its pot is just over the diameter of the mat. Or, you could throw away the mat, and just put out the plant.
After all that, you deserve a break:
This little banjo ornament was also homemade. Take a gander at the side:
It’s goofy and charming and it begged to come to Deb’s mid-century house where it will have a good home. We were not sure if it was a kit, or a whole homemade thing, but it was done very well. If only this crafter were allowed a go at some of our other fails. Of course, they probably had more taste than that.
This last thing about sums up our philosophy of life:
We hope you have been nice all year and Santa rewards you well. No Bozo stockings for you! Have a lovely holiday season, no matter how you celebrate, and we wish you a prosperous New Year, filled with your heart’s desire!