Well, we didn’t even have to work too hard to come with two posts worth of things to NOT be thankful for, but before we get to that, let’s pass on a few things we are thankful for. First and foremost, we are supremely thankful for our loyal readers. The fact that you come back to be tortured, week after week, makes our day! Secondly we always say a great big thanks for friendship. It’s a good thing Deb and I found each other, as who else would put up with us, other than our respective spouses! And one last thanks to all the manufacturers, distributors, thrift stores and generally crazy folks who keep us continually supplied with nutty stuff to write about week after week!
Now on to the turkeys.
Let’s start with this:
OK, they could be chickens, but either way, why would you want to mold one? We finally decided they didn’t really belong as a pairs. You would lay each one down flat and fill it because when you put them together there was no way to fill them. So you only get half a turkey, and we still don’t know why the exist. We are going to throw this one out to our readers. Let us know if you understand, as we sure didn’t, and don’t make it anything really fun, or we will kick ourselves for not buying them.
This crazy bird was obviously painted by someone who was color-blind:
Wow, is that bright! We would have just left it at that, but we made the mistake of turning it around:
Why is there a living room in his butt? We are so confused. On top of the difficulty of painting inside the animal, why would you do it? Somehow making a cozy home for turkey parasites seems a bit short-sighted, given the probability of salmonella, anyway. Please cook that turkey all the way to 165, and prevent a parlor in your bird!
Once the correct temperature is reached, you will need a platter, please just not this one:
Nasty plastic ’70s thing, Begone! If you are desperate, and you just have to bring it to the table to have that family turkey picture moment, I suppose, but maybe you could try this one instead:
At least this one is a nice vintage one, in a bit better color. I still wouldn’t put my bird on anything less than my humongous turkey platter that we wrote about a few years ago. See here. I think I am turkey platter snob!
While you are cooking, you could do worse than to don this festive apron:
We liked it, not too sure about that odd yellow ruffle at the bottom, but good ole Snoopy makes up for quite a bit. It is a rather odd apron pattern, too, or maybe they didn’t use a pattern. Maybe it was the leftovers from making their Thanksgiving shirt, and they took the extra fabric, trimmed it with a dish scrubber, and called it good.
At least the Snoopy print is better than this:
For heaven’s sake, does either couple look like they are heading somewhere for a good time? No, both of ’em look like their respective mothers-in-law are going to be there, and she is on a tear, because they have not provided the proper amount of grandchildren, and when are you going to get a bigger, house, and when is your wife going to learn to cook that bushel full of apples she showed up with? And while we are at it, how come you haven’t asked for a raise, and made something of yourself instead of sitting around here on this big old Plymouth Rock?
At least these two look a teeny bit happier:
Not a whole lot mind you, and she might have been sampling the wine for the meal a bit early, as she is listing to one side. Come to think of it, that might make up for the mother-in-law. (Really no offence here, as I adore my mother-in-law, but it was just too easy!)
Hey at least the previous photo makes sense, can you believe this pilgrim and her duck?
Give that bird a snood all you want; it still looks like some sort of cross between a duck and an Easter chick. Miss Pilgrim looks like she is still brave enough to cook it, so said avian had better watch out. There is a passel of hungry Pilgrims and Indians who need food, and by God, it is going to get on that table or else. An aside here, the Summer Intern was heading home from campus the other day and saw a wild turkey just strolling around the intersection near school. We do occasionally get them in town, but that is a bird with a death wish this close to Thanksgiving. Wonder if he was roadkill … I mean dinner before the day was up.
I have a really weird fascination for this kind of stuff:
All those crazy little Thanksgiving and Christmas picks, and mini decorations in one box. I have no idea how I resisted, but I am willing to bet it is because it was priced at more than a buck, and I am notoriously cheap. Those mini cornucopias are oddly suggestive, and I have no idea how that green bracelet got there, still, it is fun to see holidays from the past in a microcosm.
Ever wonder how you get more turkey?
Must be from turkey love. They were proud of their photo of canoodling turkeys, enough that they signed it, so we felt we must give them their due and post it. It did make us laugh, as well as the lady standing next to us, so they must have done OK. Probably didn’t have that in mind when they snapped it, but take your success where you can get it! We always do.
Don’t forget the drawing for the cranberry server tonight! Leave a comment on the blog, Facebook, or the doll boards where the links are posted. If you entered, please check your email; I need your address to get the server mailed ASAP.
Finally, a wonderful reader sent us this vintage postcard:
Thanks Stephanie! I can see why you liked the ear-of-corn car from last week’s post, although this one is way better.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of our readers in the U.S. Hope you get to spend time with those who mean the most to you.