We See Weird Things

I’m trying to write this while handing out Halloween candy—it’s been that kind of week.  It was cold and snowy this week so I was planning on getting lots of house stuff done; yay me!  Instead, I was sick with some stupid cold/flu/virus thingie for days, and didn’t get anything done.  We didn’t even get a pumpkin carved which has never happened in the 40 years of our marriage!  Did I forget to say that B.H. is even sicker than I am?  Oh well, time to recoup, recover, and get ’er done next week.  Luckily I have a crazy battery-powered pumpkin that flashes disco lights, I even have the batteries, and of course I have candy!  So all is not lost this Hallows’ Even.

All is not lost for the post either.  I have a Costco-sized backlog of pictures and plan to use a few of them!

We really don’t understand this at all, which happens to us a lot:

This is a bag of tiny plastic canvas flags, we thought.  When I read the front card while looking at the picture, they seem to be some sort of scouting flags from different countries?  Those are the approximate colors on the Armenian flag.  This first card says it is for Armenian boys in France; was that a thing?  Well, I Googled it and it was in the 1920s when a mass influx of Armenian genocide survivors went to France.  I’m not sure what that has to do with Scouting; and surely plastic canvas wasn’t available in the 1920s, was it?  The other flag card that can be seen seems to apply to Thailand, but I can’t read it.  Maybe the most mysterious part of this whole bag is that the thrift store thinks it’s worth $4.

This poor owl looks so sad:

He’s plastic and painted gold which would absolutely make me sad!  I don’t think I could look at him day in and day out; he’s just too depressing.  I think the owl craze is over again, for a while.  We see lots of discarded owl stuff every week; although we all know there is still a crap ton of it lurking in Grandma’s house.

We were looking at this shelf and said that we didn’t know that the Hummel people made ornaments:

   

Then we picked one up and realized that they were plastic!  Turning one over we saw the mark, Made in Macau, and the jig was up.  You can’t fool us—Hummels were made in Germany!  Although I’m ashamed to say that I had to look up Macau to see where it was.  (South coast of China, across the Pearl River Delta from Hong Kong.)  Just looking at them, they look pretty good if you like Hummels.  Pretty sure they would hang on the Christmas tree better than a real Hummel, too.

Did I say we have seen some really weird things in the last couple of months?

 

Because we have!  So this seems to be a rodenty bridal couple, although for a while we were leaning aardvark.  A quick glimpse, which was all we could take, at their behinds showed earthworm-like tales.  So mouse or rat it is, although I bet neither group would claim these two.  I don’t think that we flipped them over to look for a mark; I’m certainly hoping they were made by some hopelessly untalented home crafter.  It was an act of the greatest optimism to think that anyone would buy this pair.  At least I thought so until I saw these two:

I’m definitely going out on a limb here to say these two children were decorated by an extremely untalented painter.  Maybe even a very young child who hadn’t learned to color in the lines yet and that the eye is white with a colored iris, not the other way around.  Why were they preserved and taken to a thrift store is a mystery for the ages.  Another puzzler is why the thrift store thought that anyone will buy these two blank-eyed undead waifs.  You can’t fix this; the only decent thing to do is bury them!

This was amusing; both the idea and the name:

For the host who longs to slide a beer down the bar, but doesn’t have any self-confidence or a long wooden bar.  Set your guest’s Scotch on this and make him catch it when it comes shooting across the kitchen counter, or whatever you’re using for a bar.  And after a few Scotches, laugh at your company as they try to get the glass back on something that rolls around.  I would try this first with a glass of water before you break the good stuff out!

We went to an estate sale that sounded promising.  Boy were we wrong!  We have been to this company’s sales before and they vary from normal, boring things to fantastic (the old clothing sale in Cheyenne WY).  We usually can find a thing or two to buy, but not this time:

It was out in a barn and we know what ranchers and farmers put in their barns when there are no animals—broken, weird things.  I have to say that the barn smelled like there had been animals in there recently so we were pretty careful with our feet.  Plus, nothing had been cleaned!  We couldn’t even see through the glass on some of the framed pictures.  Most of the stuff had something wrong with it, too.  Just a huge pile of junk.  However, we did take a couple of photos.

We don’t get this:

 

How is a fakey grandfather clock better than a more traditional jewelry box?  Or even as good?  This one was missing its top finial, and had really seen better days, so no one was even glancing its way.  This jewelry box is the whole sale in a microcosm; no wonder we didn’t buy anything.

We didn’t get this, either:

You can see how enormous this badminton birdie is by comparing it to the one back on the racket, with the red arrow pointing at it.  Godzilla birdie was made just like a regular birdie, but I think trying to hit it with a regular racket could just put a hole in your racket, dear Liza, dear Liza.  This just in: B.H. says that large birdies are for slowing the game down, like a wiffle ball.

I have a piece of history that my sister-in-law gave me:

 

When I visited Texas in May, she gave us a bunch of old stuff that she didn’t want any more.  These hatpins were in with some sewing notions and buttons.  They are more than a foot long, because they are from the the late 1800s through the 1910s when hair was big and hats were bigger.  Because it became fashionable to have hats without strings, there had to be a way to keep them on your head.  And the pins just kept getting bigger, and kind of dangerous with the sharp end poking out of the hat.  In fact, laws were enacted in the US because women were rumored to be using these long hatpins on men engaged in bad behavior.  It was also feared that suffragettes, those violent anarchists, would use hatpins against the police and crowds while protesting.  I wish I had had one of these hatpins a couple of times in my life—just to discourage a couple of scalawags.

I finished this just in time to turn out the light after a surprising number of hearty trick-or-treaters braving the cold.  Hope you all had a spooktacular Halloween!

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2 Responses to We See Weird Things

  1. Stephanie Gazell says:

    I hope you and hubby feel better soon!!

    • kathy & deb says:

      You are so sweet! We’re slamming the O.J. and trying to get enough sleep–that should do the trick! Have a great weekend. Hugs

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