Summer Cruising

There must have been something in the water last couple of weeks because there was more than enough crabbiness to go around, starting with us and ending with the folks who run sales.  It could have been the heat, because it was freaking hot here last week, just like the rest of the country.  Whatever it was, it seems to have passed because it’s all good again.

However, Kathy was a little concerned about my mood and found me a present at a Saturday garage sale:

It’s sooo cute.  It says that it’s a crib pillow across the bottom, but this is one pillow that will never be used.  I was thinking of framing it.  Kathy is too good to me, but I’ll take it.  We all need friends who treat us better than we may deserve.

Oh yeah, should mention that we have a lightweight clown warning further down in the post.  I don’t think it will cause permanent trauma, unless you got one of these as a present.  In that case, sorry for dredging up bad memories.

The photos for this post are a mix of thrift store, estate sale, and garage sale finds.  I think that this is an estate sale find that I forgot to include last week:

No, you’re not seeing things—it’s a frickin’ shag-carpet purse in the meh-est of all colors, beige!  What the what?  I have to think that this is a joke; it can’t be a real, actual purse that someone carried.  If you left it somewhere, it probably wouldn’t be snatched but rather just returned to the floor where all rugs belong.

I kind of feel like we should come up with a new descriptive term rather than calling these “decorative” floor pots:

Maybe the collective name could be the “We want to sell you decorative floor pots, but refuse to put in any actual work designing or decorating them.  In fact, we refuse to hire anyone capable of designing an attractive pot, and will keep those benighted fools that brought you the Southwest decorating craze.”  At least the pot on the left appears to be made from clay, or some sort of ceramic material.  The pot on the left is resin, and weighs a ton, so it’s eligible to be a boat anchor.  Maybe it can confuse those super-intelligent dolphins and porpoises so you can fish in peace while they attempt to decode the message inscribed on the anchor.

OMG, we have talked about this before:

If you’re traveling and looking for souvenirs, please drop us a line and we’ll point you in the right direction for fabulous mementos.  In Jerusalem, maybe try some olive oil, Dead Sea beauty products, coffee, local spices, and olive wood products.  I’m sort of worried about the olive wood products recommendation since this could lead to problems; maybe stick with cutting boards, trivets, and wooden spoons.  Even if you manage to find ugly ones, they’ll still be useful.  What you shouldn’t buy is a hideous bag decorated with plastic beads that produces a scene that looks like melted crayons were used.  There is no help for this and yet they schlepped it thousands of miles!

We know that package labeling is rife with exaggerations:

But, it seems a little lacking in truthiness to call this a “Fruit and Vegetable processing device.”  More like, “As seen on TV gadget that fails to do what we promised it could do.”  I like the picture showing it cutting cucumbers; I can cut cucumbers with a piece of  cardboard!  Show me this “processing device” dealing with carrots or celery; I want to see what it does to a tomato!  Oh dear, the visual of a tomato being mangled is now embedded in my brain—oh the humanity!

As if things weren’t bad enough we came across vintage clowns:

I’m not sure why McCall’s dragged in an innocent alligator pajama bag into it, but it’s probably the only reason this pattern ever got bought.  Well, I wish, but it seems like moms and grandmas adored clowns in the 1960s and ’70s.  There were clowns everywhere, so it seems probable that some poor kid received these clown toys instead of a real present.  I just want to point out the black and white drawing above the smaller clown.  It looks like a drawing of a clown hanging from a nail!  Why would this be anywhere but on the poor kid’s bed, guaranteed to keep him/her up all night quaking in fear?  McCall’s can ease their consciences by saying that they tried to sell this as a wall decoration, but I for one will not let them weasel their way out of a portion of the blame!  Hey, I just had an idea—jam those clowns into the alligator pajama bag and tell your mother that he ate them!

Time for a break to look at something cute:

This was made by a California pottery in the 1950s or ’60s.  It kind of looks like she is milking a tiny bull, but cows have horns, too.  There’s a perspective problem, but really, this isn’t fine art.  I had to laugh at her two bows along with that fancy dress.  Getting hit with a nasty tail will train her to wear her grungiest clothes while on milking duty.  Despite all the caveats, I still think it’s a cute little bowl.  Just don’t think about it too much, right?

It does make a difference if this is a kid’s project or the product of an incompetent adult:

If I got this from a child, I would smile when I found it again, buried deep in my kitchen linens’ drawer.  I wouldn’t even mind making sure it was displayed when the child visited.  On the other hand, if one of my sisters made this for me, I would have to ask them if they were okay.  Plus, if the adult were capable of making that cute little flower potholder next to Sunny Shine, then I might even be a little peeved!

Sometimes, it’s just accidental pairings that make things amusing:

It’s hard to think of two objects more unrelated than these two albums.  There’s Queen Elizabeth II looking all regal and elegant next to a circus!  It might be instructive to see what kind of person would have both of these albums in their collection.  They would have to have eclectic taste, for sure!

I’m off traveling again, so there is no saying what I might see in the wilds of Idaho and Oregon.  Poor Kathy has to shop on her own AND work, so I’ll have to find her something fun to make it up to her!

 

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2 Responses to Summer Cruising

  1. Stephanie Gazell says:

    Oh, but there is a Clown pajama bag as well as an Alligator one! The description at the top says a 27 inch Clown bag and a 31 inch Alligator bag – and a 14 inch Clown toy. I think the Clown PJ bag could hang from a doorknob. What fun, passing by that Clown on the door each night, in the dark….when you’re scared….yup. All it needs is glowing eyes and I’d never leave my bed.

    I’m running a bit behind, and have to catch up. I hope you girls get a little relief from the heat. We have one day of dry air and lower temps, then right back into it starting tomorrow. Can’t wait for September to come! Hang in there, ladies!

    • kathy & deb says:

      OMG Stephanie, I didn’t even see that! It just gets worse and worse the more you look at it! I’m glad my grandmother never had that pattern, it would be clowns for sure with her. It’s summer and we know people are busy; we’ll all buckle down once fall comes. Hope you have been doing something fun that gives you some relief from all the heat. We can always retreat to the air conditioned thrift stores to regroup from hot and sunny garage saling. Hugs and thanks for pointing out our clown omission.

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