Bombs Away!

Well, we have survived the polar “bomb” in Colorado.  It was a lot of wind, not a lot of snow, but piles of drifts in our neighborhood.  Luckily, Hubby is home to handle the heavy stuff with the giant snowblower, so we can leave the house.  Thank goodness he will get us dug out in time for shopping on Friday.  Whew, that would be just too hard to bear!

We found a tidy little bit of crazy stuff the last few weeks with no particular theme, so we will just dodge around randomly from place to place!  Let’s start out with some gnomes who may have bitten off more than they can chew:

I don’t know why they are so intent on taming a Unicorn.  Haven’t they read the stories?  You need a virgin maiden for that, or so I’ve been told.  Pretty sure none of these fellows qualify as maidens; we have no idea about the virgin thing.  Some things are better left undiscovered.  One poor chap seems to have paid the ultimate price:

That skewering is gonna leave a mark.  Now that we have dealt with the basic imagery, we are left with the question of “why?”  Can’t say as I have ever felt a huge need for a rampaging deadly unicorn as art in my home.  No garden would benefit from these gnomes, either.  Time to knock it off the shelf.

We spotted a whole owl … collection:

How many cookie jars do you need?  There were plenty of salt and pepper shakers to go with them, and if that weren’t enough, there were more:

My grandmother collected owls for years, and I am sure this was not even a tiny fraction of the size of her collection when it was dispersed.  I will just say that I hope they gave someone lots of pleasure throughout the years, and that no one had to get rid of them before their time.  Isn’t that what all this crazy stuff is for?  To make us smile?  I know the owls sure made my grandma grin.

I gotta say that just because Aruba is Dutch, this still doesn’t seem like the perfect souvenir of a beach vacation:

So you know, it really was Delft:

You are lying there on the beach and the first things that comes to mind are wooden shoes.  Yep, that is it.  Might as well bring home a tulip.

We spent several wasted minutes trying to figure out who in their right mind EVER thought this was good:

It’s a rabid, macrame looking, wooden beaded, lamp, gone horribly, terribly wrong.  It didn’t look good the day it was installed, and it has been all downhill from there.  Rip it apart and make a beaded curtain, or just a bonfire.  I can’t think of any interior that could be improved by this.  By its very nature, it draws attention to itself when turned on.  You can’t even hide it in a dark corner and hope it goes away.

After that, it may be time for a giggle:

Truly words to live by.  There is not one little thing wrong with this, although I think it would be better as a t-shirt, so you could carry the sentiment around with you.

On the other hand, there is EVERYTHING wrong with this:

I always get my eye patches and pink eye at the thrift store.  Yes, the box was open.  Come on, Target, sometimes you just need to throw stuff away.  We have spent several months grousing about Target’s support of Goodwill.  While we applaud them trying not to discard things, Goodwill uses Target’s clearance prices and hopes someone is dumb enough to buy them.  Make it super cheap and get it gone, and quit cluttering up our thifts with new crap.  OK, rant over.

For those of you more spiritually minded, here we have some “Shells For Jesus”:

In general, we try not to make fun of anyone’s religion.  We are all for folks worshiping anyone and anything they want, as long as it doesn’t interfere with anyone else’s worshiping anyone and anything THEY want.  But I’m sorry, this just needs to be mocked.  Surely even the gentle pious man would not want these lovely shells being tortured on his behalf.  Just leave them in the surf, and wait for someone to come along and walk on water.  We also took exception to the nasty clayish base.  Just a poor use of sushi wrappings, or seashells, if you prefer.

We need someone to explain this:

We have no idea who Little Orley is, but we have grave doubts about Uncle Lumpy.  Not sure that child protective services should not be called immediately.  Assuming that Uncle Lumpy checks out, Little Orley must be quite the tot, as he is celebrated in both story AND song!  Maybe they tell tall tales of suspenders, or his pet worm.  Just a guess by looking at the jacket art.  We know that someone is going to come forward with warm memories of Orley and his lumpy uncle, so just let us know, and we will gladly pass it along to our readers.  Deb here: B.H. was curious and looked up Little Orley and Uncle Lumpy.  Turns out, Uncle Lumpy was Hugh Brannum, who played Mr. Green Jeans on Captain Kangaroo.  He told stories about Little Orley on the radio.  That’s even before my time, but I did watch the Captain.

Thought we might end up with a craft fail:

Thank goodness it has failed to come to fruition, as that is just nasty.  Who hates cats that much?  Please, folks, stick to making vests out of those yo-yos, and leave the feline population alone!

Temps should be returning to the 50s next week, so we will continue to look for signs of spring, and keep an eagle eye out for more crazy stuff to share with you all.  For those of a Celtic persuasion, and those that pretend to be, we wish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

 

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2 Responses to Bombs Away!

  1. romitazz says:

    I think I need that coffee/wine sign lol – truth! I agree it should be a t-shirt though. Thanks for another fun read ladies. /Rosemarie in Calgary 🙂

    • kathy & deb says:

      Rosemarie, you and me both for the wine/coffee sign on a t-shirt. Reminds me of the meme about using wine for cooking, and even adding a drop or two to the dish! Thanks for reading!

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