No Art At All

I am going to start off by mentioning that I am unusually crabby today.  We managed to get the Summer Intern graduated from high school and had the gigantic party in the back yard with nary a rain drop or hailstone to be had.  Then he passed his driver’s license test and we made it through the DMV within ten minutes.  At this point I was contemplating buying a lottery ticket, but Mother Nature took care of that string of good luck by promptly giving me the cold from Hell.  I have moved on from being a sniffling mass, to having a stuffed-up head that feels like it is the size of a beach ball.  I still have a lot of things to do on my spring to-do list, plus a bunch of sewing for several events, and all I really want to do is lie in the bathtub in steam so thick you would need a fog horn to locate me.  All this is to say that the following items are going to make me grouchier than normal!

Let’s start out with a quote from Oscar Wilde.  “Bad art is a good deal worse than no art at all.”  We heartily agree, and most of the following need to be replaced by blank spots on the walls they once graced.

Not that I have anything in particular against Mickey, but really?

I thought velvet was reserved for Elvis, the Last Supper, and matadors.  I guess the “artist” in the velvet painting sweatshop was feeling particularly jaunty that day and this is the result.  No trip to Tijuana would be complete without this, cause I am pretty sure it never graced the shops of Disneyland—I don’t care how close it is to Mexico.

You know, I have a deep dark secret: I like to embroider.  I’ve probably completed a few of these in my time, but I had the decency to leave them in boxes.  I didn’t frame them and give them to some poor relative who would feel obligated to hang them on the wall:

To be fair, the colors are kinda fun, and if I saw a picture with that perky cheerful pattern in real life, I might be tempted to snatch it up.  Heck, I might even put daisies in it, but I wouldn’t even take a photo for Facebook, never mind immortalizing it in yarn.

Warning: clown ahead.

Maybe I should have warned you about this one, too:

Ugh.  I really dislike snakes.  Well, snakes themselves not so much, but I need them to give me a warning.  If every snake hiding in my yard would just wave a little flag with their tail to let me know where they are, instead of sneaking up on me, out of the blue, then we would all be a lot happier.  This picture should probably do the same.  I think this was made just to see how many times it would make the owner’s wife jump out of her skin as she came around the corner of the den and ran into it.  I would rather just see the leaves sans snake, but of course that is how I am in real life.  They sure went to a lot of trouble with the frame, too.  A lot of work for a wall that should, again, be blank.

OK, I warned you:

The small text at the bottom reads “Truman Band Boosters, April Frolics”.  I don’t care how much you frolicked; how drunk would you have to be to agree to take this home?  It’s blue and rather gelatinous looking, although it was just shiny plastic, but I think they are going to have to change the tag to about $50.00.  They pay you, and hope it goes away and gets exploded in some teen-aged chemistry experiment.  I am just glad that he is not looking directly at me, as that would increase the yuck factor exponentially.  I do also have to mention that the clown and Mickey were at the same sale.  Do you think there is enough money saved up for that child’s lifetime trips to the psychiatrist?

I will have to give credit where it is due; the same sale yielded this mid-century ashtray stand:

Of course, to balance that out, we have the salad stand behind it.  The ashtray had some rather cool lines to it:

Makes you wonder what the ashtray looked like that came with it.  I would probably re-purpose it as a plant stand, but it was a little small, so it was a lot of work for one tiny plant.

We ran out of garage sales kinda early that day, so we had to hit up a thrift store, too.  While there, we found some more “art”.  It was that kind of day.

Being children of the ’60s/’70s we both had to admit to thinking that these were cute:

I am pretty sure I had a least one of the kittens done by this same artist, and I thought it was delightful.  Of course, I was ten; what did I know?  Deb might have dragged the poodle home, even though there is not an ounce of space on her walls (they are covered in GOOD art), but she couldn’t bring herself to break up the set.

We also agreed whole-heartedly with this sign:

After some of the things we had seen that morning, we might have even needed to rescue a couple of bottles.  Just call us the heroes of the moment.

One more pic of some fun stuff before we sign off.  I am sure we have admitted here before our penchant for fabric.  All we can say on our behalf is that we don’t have as much as some folks, so imagine our delight when we saw all this:

I only bought three pieces, and I promised to share with Deb.  See what a good girl I am.  Now, if I just felt well enough to go sew.

Well, I am off to go make another cup of tea, and see if I can clear my head a bit.  Just be grateful that I didn’t write this yesterday, as it would have made no sense at all.  As it is, it just barely makes it to coherent, so forgive me, and send a box of Kleenex my way.

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7 Responses to No Art At All

  1. Sorry about your cold. I had it too, week before last. Still have the lingering cough. Ugh.

    You obviously never got to see my dad’s contribution to the home decor at my folks’ house, a trio of black velvet paintings he dragged home from an ill-advised solo trip to Juarez: Charlie Brown, Lucy, and Snoopy. The worst part? The frames were crooked, so that no matter how much you nudged them, they would never hang straight. Mom banished them to the rec room in the basement, where they hung for decades. Last I saw, she seems to have managed to even get them out of there. Kind of a relief; they were really bad. Way worse than Mickey up there.

    • kathy & deb says:

      I may have moved into full blown sinus infection at this point, so will be heading to the doc later today. I probably HAVE seen those paintings, but it would have been years ago. Might explain the lasting damage caused by velvet paintings. LOL

    • kathy & deb says:

      Glad you are starting to feel better Shelia. Ugh, those pictures sound hideous! What about the Peanuts characters screams black velvet? The only good thing about that Micky painting is the carved frame!

  2. Sandi magle says:

    Too funny…and that is one ugly clown, and I have no hang-ups about clowns…fun stuff, hope you feel better!

    • kathy & deb says:

      We have turned lots of people into ugly-clown haters after reading our blog. It’s so sad that the bad clowns outnumber good clowns by about 20:1!

  3. Stephanie Gazell says:

    I hope you’ll feel better soon! Summer colds are miserable. Sending healthy vibes your way! That clown is so bad it’s good. :>) Thank you for the pamphlet, both of you! I had more fun with it this weekend, going over recipes with friends, and making screenshots for our cameras, if the illustrations. Too much fun!

    • kathy & deb says:

      Thanks Stephanie for the good wishes; Kathy has been to the Drs. so the recovery should be starting any time now. Glad you liked the pamphlet, it’s a pretty funny, but also somewhat helpful, one. I hate to disagree, but there are no good clowns. 😉

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