Easter Basket Cases

Easter and April Fools’ Day on the same day?  That’s a waste of a perfectly good holiday, plus now I’m afraid to trust my Easter eggs.  It hasn’t happened in 62 years, but it will happen again in 11 years so hold onto all those Easter-related April Fools’ pranks; you’ll need them again.

When I saw this photo in the Easter 2018 file, I felt like I had used it before.  It wasn’t in last year’s Easter post, so apologies if anyone recognizes it:

   

I feel compelled to include it, because of the sheer horror of parents giving this to their child on Easter.  WTH, Mom and Dad?  No one wants something like this in their Easter basket!  Chocolate, jelly beans, Cadbury Eggs, heck even a decorated hard-boiled egg if you must.  Just not an angry egg-like thing glaring at me.  Also, I have to ask, “What’s the deal with those shoes?”

I was at Michaels the other day and saw this:

Sure they were big and sparkly, but really, $20 for plastic decorative eggs?  Plus, imagine how hard those eggs will be to hide!  OMG, do you suppose that they WANT people to see them?  I’m confused and conflicted by these eggs; the only way they’re coming into my house is if they’re full of chocolate, or at least jelly beans.

I have several Easter craft fails for you.  First up:

   

Just what everyone needs—an Easter starfish made from bottle brush trees.  It doesn’t help at all that they plastered a pink Happy Easter sign on it, or even the little Easter egg.  This crafter needs help ASAP.  I recommend that they boil some eggs and have a whee of a time decorating them.  At least the evidence of their questionable taste will soon be in the compost.

Then there is this iffy attempt at the decorative arts:

This must have been on the thrift store shelf-of-all-holidays, since I can clearly see Halloween pumpkins in the background.  I think that hats make good … HATS!  Stop decorating them for holidays and hanging them on the door.  You would be better off making an Easter Bunny wreath, and coming from us, with our anti-wreath history, that’s saying something.

I found this bunny on Pinterest.  I hesitated to include him, but he has to be the second cousin of our mascot, Ruffles the Bunny:

I wouldn’t touch his eggs on a bet!  He is absolutely terrifying, and someone had better get Grandma to the eye doctor if she thinks he is decorative.

We hoped that this was a craft project:

The idea that a manufacturer thought that there was a market for a painted egg with hair and a face is just too disturbing to think about.  We absolutely know why this was at the thrift store.  Hopefully, it slipped off its hook and did a Humpty Dumpty.

I’m not sure why this ceramic bunny even exists:

She isn’t all that charming, and if she is the Easter Bunny, her basket should be full of eggs.  However, I included this picture because I love the little teapot in the background photobombing her cutesiness.  I would take him in a heartbeat over her, if forced to chose.

Well, this is kind of sad:

The giver grossly misjudged the recipient’s taste in jewelry, since this ended up at the thrift store still on its card.  It’s kind of sappy, and made of resin, but it isn’t terrible, is it?  If someone had given it to me, I would have gulped and bravely pinned it to my jacket.  I have to say though, the brand name Tiny Trinkets is misleading, since this is neither.

Goodness, I hope someone’s kid made this in pottery class, but I doubt it:

Who would keep an Easter egg cookie jar on their counter, even at Easter time?  And, not to pile on, it’s rather weird-looking to boot. I guess that if your goal is to keep your kids on a continuous sugar high during Spring break, you might need both cookies and candy to get the job done.

We saw this little purse at half-off day:

I can remember carrying something similar when I was a kid all dressed up for Easter.  It would work as an Easter basket, too.  It was in pretty darn good shape for being a 1970s thing.  I bought it and stuck it in my Etsy shop, hoping that someone  would be amused.

We’re hopping that you all have an awesome Easter and April Fools’ Day, however you celebrate it.