In a State

Last week, we tiptoed through the tulips.  This week that would be an impossibility at my house.  I went to bed Saturday night knowing that I would have a lovely patch of tulips open in the morning.  This patch included some of my precious souvenirs of my trip to the Netherlands LAST April, so I was dying to see them.  I came out in the morning to find this:

20160428_081210.jpgAll neatly mowed off by the %#*@ deer!  I keep telling my husband, a salt lick, the garage door opener and a club, and we would have a freezer full of venison in no time.  Needless to say, I have been a “tiny” bit grumpier than usual this week.

Luckily, I can take my bad temper out on a few choice items, and share it with you.  First up:

Wyoming plateWhy O Why, Wyoming?  No state deserves to be memorialized in this fashion.  It’s pretty darn ugly, and so inaccurate.  I am positive the wind blows too hard up there to ever have trees as large as the ones by the Capitol building ( nor does the building look like that! )  That cowboy is riding a calf, not a bull, and no self respecting cowpoke would let himself be seen in a rodeo without the requisite hat!  We had to laugh, as according to the mark on the back:

Wyoming plate markThis sucker was vintage, so someone kept it an awfully long time considering it’s hideousness.  On top of that, if you want to remember WY from here in CO, hop in the car, it’s less than an hours drive away!

Moving on to the next aisle, we came across this:

Don't want Nebraska to feel left out2We didn’t want Nebraska to be left out!  No marks on this one, but in case the corn and covered wagon were not a dead give-a-way, they made sure you know the exact spot they were commemorating.

Don't want Nebraska to feel left outSince it was an ashtray, we can only assume it would be improved by being covered in cigarette ashes, just no where near our living rooms.  FYI, not much farther to drive to Nebraska than to Wyoming, so skip the souvenirs.

We came across a couple of funny signs.  These first two are magnets:

Kitty signsI started to turn the first one “right side up” then realized it was!  I actually have the second one on a cabinet near my desk.  This frequently characterizes my life.  Especially, when Thursday rolls around, and it hits me that it is my turn to write the blog.  Maybe, turning my head upside down would improve my outlook.  Nope, deer still ate my tulips.

We liked this one too:

Husband for sale signWe both live in a household where the hubby is in charge of the remote.  Around here he gives me grief because I have no idea how to turn on the TV, DVD, etc., but if I never get a chance to practice, how am I supposed to learn?  Of course, the TV would then always be tuned to Antiques Roadshow, or the like, and he would just be irritated about that, so probably more peaceful to just go about in ignorant bliss.

I spotted these two items on Saturday while garage saling with hubby:

20160423_103551.jpg  20160423_103559.jpg

Lady of Spain keeps playing in my head for some reason!  You have to admit that first one is pretty spectacular.  I think they just made them extra fancy, so no one would notice they were still listening to an accordion!  It sort of mesmerizes you, like a snake charmer.  The second one was pretty plain, although the inlay work was very nice.  Still hard to imagine one sale would have two of them.  In my misbegotten youth, I actually managed a tune or two on the “squawkbox”.  Luckily, the actual instrument lived at the neighbors, and I just took piano lessons.  My parents were pretty smart cookies.

Time for a “goody” just to give your eyes a rest.  Isn’t this pretty?

Estate sale Kimono  Poor Deb almost fell down the stairs getting far enough away to take a picture of it, but we did love it.  I adore clothes that are art.  It was nicely displayed too.  Hope someone purchased it that has a nice bit wall space to continue to show it off.

OK, back to the old grind.  This is a WTF thing for sure:

Owl has diamond eyes  As far as we could tell, this served no earthly purpose.  It wasn’t a bank, not heavy enough for a door stop, or a weapon.  It was made of some sort of heavyish plastic, so it wouldn’t make a good target.  You know, no satisfying shattering on impact.  All it did was stare at us with those over sized rhinestone eyes.  Why this particular shade of blue either?  Of course, I don’t know of too many blue owls anyway, unless they are depressed at the how the portrait sculpture came out.

We have up now another bad craft fail:

Yellow macrame plant hanger         Yellow macrame plant hanger decoration

It’s a plant hanger.  Thought I would get that vital piece of information out there first.  After that, all bets are off.  Instead of making it out of jute, they were thrifty and used bilious yellow yarn, and lots of it.  Not being satisfied with that, they plunked a dead bird in it.  It must be dead, it’s hanging upside down.  Sort of a Monty Python Parrot Sketch thing.  What kind of a plant would be caught dead in such a thing?  Come to think of it, a dead plant just might  improve it.  Probably not though.  We did notice that it continues to hang all by itself in shunned isolation.  Looks like no one is crazy enough to take it home.  Thank goodness!

We are undecided on this last item:

Bronze whatzit from Estate SaleBronze whatzit from Estate Sale2                                                                                                                                                                   This was at the same estate sale as the kimono, and we spent several minutes trying to decide what it was.  We think the round piece in front of the wagon was for a candle, and perhaps the bowl for fruit, but go ahead and mentally put those items in place; I’ll wait.  Now that you have that picture fixed in your mind, can you imagine putting it in the center of your table amidst your fine china?  I thought not.  Those Victorians were experts in useless frou-frous.  It was amusing in a “what the heck” sort of way.  I don’t think we even looked at the price, as we spent so much time trying to decide what to do with it.

Well, I am off to put out my new “scarecrow” sprinkler.  It is supposed to keep the deer out of your yard.  I am figuring I will just manage to soak myself on a regular basis with it, but I am going to try, either that, or we are having a Bar-B-Que; come on over!!

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3 Responses to In a State

  1. giarte says:

    wow, sorry to hear about your tulips. somebody told me years ago that they lived in an are with deer, and that they could plant tulips because they were “like lollipops” to the deer, so they planted daffodils instead, deer leave them alone.
    good stuff this week, love the kimono.

    • kathy & deb says:

      It’s especially sickening when you consider how much green, green grass is all around them. Why do them have to love tulips? That’s a good description, calling tulips “deer lolipops”. They love green bean plants too, tsk!! Thanks for reading.

  2. giarte says:

    excuse me, an “area” with deer.

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