Decorator Don’ts!

Usually by now the winter “blehs” have set in full force, but it is hard to be depressed when many of our days have been in the high 50s and low 60s.  Sort of feels like spring!  We had a fast-moving snow storm that dropped about four inches of nice wet snow, and it is supposed to all melt today.  Water without the headaches.  Yep, my kind of winter weather.  I even managed to find a garage sale last weekend.  It was a huge indoor one, but a sale nonetheless.  So I might be inclined to be a tiny bit more charitable, but I promise not to go overboard!

Deb and I spotted this jar on the shelf recently:

Fake flowers in oilAs you all know by now, Deb has an overwhelming aversion to food in oil as a decorative item.  I am not crazy about it either, but with her it is almost an obsession.  We decided artificial flowers in bath oil is a doable alternative.  If all else fails, the bath oil should make your skin oh-so-soft in our dry Colorado climate, so it can’t be all bad.

It’s waaaay better than this fake fountain wall art:

Fake Water Thingie2This thing was HUGE.  It was probably over 3 feet in length and weighed a ton.  We couldn’t even figure out how to get it off the shelf to take an upright photo of it.  Now add the weight of the plastic potted flowers that would be required to fill the bottom planter, and you have a recipe for making a new window in any wall!  Hang this up and be prepared to call the contractor.  I don’t even think I am going to dwell on the slightly avocado and gold color scheme; I’ll just let that one go.

I am not sure if this should be in the same room as the fountain, but what the heck, if you are going for bad taste, just go all the way:

Oh DeerI actually zipped around the newly-brought from the back bin at the local thrift to grab a quick look at this, as I have some rustic tree lamps (a whole story in itself) that need some shades.  I was so horrified by the lamp base, that even if that had been the perfect shade for my lamps, I don’t think I could bring myself to drag it home.  I will have to admit my hubby is a hunter, but if he EVER suggested this, I think there would have to be a super quick divorce.

We wonder about the staff at the thrift stores sometimes.  Take this sign:

Don't worry we won'tSeriously?

One: who would want to?
Two:  The value of resin and lace has gone up so much?

We have never seen the value in these pseudo vintage dolls.  Most of them are made so poorly and are so ugly, that they are a waste of space.  I am sure it is why so many of them end up at the thrift stores, where clueless employes think they are priceless.  I have no idea what they are good for, so if someone has an idea, please toss it our way.

While we are looking at odd signs, please try and explain this:

PepperCaution Salt!This is a set of salt and pepper shakers.  Now, I know you shouldn’t have too much salt, but pepper is OK, and must even the condiments nag you at the table?  There are probably signs on the cookie jar that say cookies make you fat, and lay off the coffee or you won’t be able to sleep.  Enough already!

We had to admit this was a first (for us) for a Jim Beam bottle:

Let's go to the circus!You don’t see it?  Try this angle:

Circus!We are pretty sure that pouring something out of this would be a real challenge, and that third drink well nigh impossible.  I sort of get folks who collect these, but for me they are along the lines of cookie jar collectors.  Who has the space?  One good thing, in an emergency, you would have plenty of hootch!

This photo was from a few weeks ago, and was falling to the bottom of the pile.  Probably trying to hide, but we wouldn’t want you to miss it:

WTFBack to the WTF decorating.  I am as interested in archaeology as just about anyone, actually probably more so, but please lay off the bad, fake, chintzy claptrap.  All these are good for is giving you nightmares after a binge on the town.  Trip over these in the dark, and it would be worse than seeing pink elephants.  These were each about a foot and half tall, so it is much harder to disguise them on the shelves.  The only hope is to fling a reproduction Peruvian blanket over them and hope this odd couple stays hidden.

All righty, I think I may have tortured you enough, so here is a little goodie to end the post:

Cool sugar and creamWhat’s not to love about the darling mid century lines of this pair?  They were unmarked, so no potter took credit for them, but they just scream retro, in the most charming way.  I don’t think there has been any time in history when form and function were explored in a more creative way.  There is a reason most of these still look fresh and new.  Sadly, we can’t bring them all home with us.  They don’t match my decorating, and Deb’s house can only hold so many, so we take a photo as a souvenir and share them with you!

We had so many folks trying for the R hanky in our last post, that we think we will do a whole post on fun handkerchiefs, and you can bet there will be a giveaway involved in that, so stay tuned!  We are happy to report that a suitable R-named candidate was the recipient, so it has a good home now.

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4 Responses to Decorator Don’ts!

  1. Stephanie Gazell says:

    Oh, the salt and pepper set is hilarious! How about a milk pitcher with “Don’t drink or you’ll be sorry” for all those lactose intolerant people out there? Lolololol… Yes, I’m cracking up here! Those dolls should be given to children to play with and destroy. Looking forward to you hankie post! ❤ ❤ ❤ Have a good weekend, girls!

    • kathy & deb says:

      Thanks Steph, and thanks for the idea about the hankie post. We looked at each other and wondered why we had never thought of doing one! Have a good weekend yourself, although last weekend wasn’t too bad in MA either!

  2. Diane Rhodes says:

    How can you be so sure that the African carving is not an original primitive artifact? It looks genuine enough to me. Perhaps you should notify a museum, or better yet buy it and donate it to them.
    Diane Rhodes

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