Deb is heading off this week to visit her sisters, leaving me to shop with the summer intern. The only way I can get a 15-year-old boy to consent to being seen with his mother, is to bribe him with lunch. Whatever works! Lucky for all our loyal readers, we had a bumper crop of bad last week. I promise to clean your brain out at the end with something extra cute. Trust me, you’re going to need it.
As the title suggests, not all enlightening objects are worthwhile:
On the “bright” side, I suppose they will light up those dingy corners, and they sure are big. Perhaps, in a pinch, they could be used as weapons, if you had the muscles to swing them at an intruder. Not much else can be said in their favor, though. We were actually fairly happy that the shades were missing. They probably had fringe like a Hong Kong rickshaw taxi, or they could have looked like these:
This pair of lamps was even more hideous than the first ones, but the shades were gilded and pierced to the nth degree. When the lamps were on, they probably blinded everyone by the light! Imagine the bases with a warm golden glow bathing them. Who knew it could get worse? To be honest, the shades might have been pretty if they weren’t flooded with gold on the inside, but no one seems to know when to say “when”.
Then we have this:
OMG, the nightmares this must have inspired. If I had to reach over and turn the light on to this every morning, I think I would hang blackout curtains and never use the light switch again. It didn’t even have the excuse of being a home made ceramics project. It was commercially ugly! Ducks and frogs and naked babies, oh my! Again, we were pleased the shade was missing, unless they were able to find one that hung down to about table level, then it might be OK.
This is just a general “Huh?” inquiry. Why does it seem that these always got painted gold?
You know darn well they didn’t come that way. There must have been a decorating fad at one time or another that decreed that Grandma’s iron painted gold was a lovely decorative accessory. As a side note, I make everyone I know, who is a crafter, have at least one of these. They are the greatest thing for weighing down all sorts of things while they dry. I use them for gluing, flattening, and holding things in place. Don’t say we can’t be helpful!
We did find an estate sale last week. We were more intrigued by the house it was in, than the sale itself:
Neither one of us had ever noticed the building behind its fence and hedge. After entering, we decided it must have been a church in a former life. Made for a kinda cool house. The sale wasn’t much, but we did like this:
We decided that our shopping trips could get even more hilarious with the addition of this. Properly stocked, of course. On the other hand, we don’t think our hubbies would be in the mood to bail us out for several days if we got a little too far out of hand. They would probably enjoy the relative quiet far too much. Not only that, but they wouldn’t have to worry about what crazy thing we brought home next.
On another front, we did find a few dolls this week. Sometimes dolls can just be plain creepy, and here we have a perfect example:
I don’t even know how to describe the expressions on their faces. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why the girl in the front is slightly less scary than the one in the back, but I still wouldn’t want to be left in a haunted house with either of them. We were so distressed by the staring faces that I realize now we didn’t look at the clothes. The dresses are kinda cute and could work with smaller fashion dolls. Just goes to show how badness blinds! Save yourself! Wonder if we could invent glasses that just go black at the first sign of clowns and psychedelic prints? Might be a fortune in those.
This little girl was a lot more fun:
We thought she had more groove and sass than the world’s cutest toddler. Lucky for someone else, we didn’t need her, and left her to find a good home in some other collection, but she did make us smile.
Speaking of not meeting dolls in dark alleys:
This pair looks like they could take care of themselves in any situation. Loved the bright colors and cool poses. Bet they could take those first two dolls and make sushi of them. Let’s let them have at it! Stand back and cover your eyes, it’s going to get ugly. Oh wait, it already was!
Now for some fun and cuteness. Get ready to say awwwwwww:
Look at these two cute pals. One loves you and the other saves you money! The pooch is a bank, and we have seen this type of give-away before, but never the cute dachshund. We are frequently thankful to come upon something like this now and then to save our brains from the bad lamps and crazy crafting.
We will be heading our separate ways for this week, but we always keep our eyes open, so there will surely be plenty to groan over next week. We have been saving up for Halloween, so stay tuned, and be sure to send in any Holiday Horrors you might find. We promise to share them.