Some of This Post is Rated PG-13

Most of this week’s post is G-rated; but there were a couple of things that probably require a PG warning.  It isn’t our fault–we blame ARC and Goodwill!  I’m pretty sure you’ll recognize the errant items when you see them.

Pee-wee Herman was such a loud, innocent, goofy man-child:

Pee Wee

Then his alter ego’s scandal made headlines, and he disappeared from the big stage.  I think it’s unfortunate that his doll has those kung-fu grip hands.  I can’t look at this doll without unruly thoughts entering my middle-aged unfiltered brain such as: I hope those arms are tied down.  Mercy, can you imagine the fuss if one of those hands wandered over towards the zipper area?

I thought this seller had an interesting eye for graphics:

Framed box graphicsShe was a produce manager at a local grocery store.  She said she loved the boxes that fruits and veggies were packed in and decided to frame some of it.  I  also like the colors of the backing and frame.

Never mind that this is a poor copy of Michelangelo’s magnificent David:

Modesty Fail!The modesty cover is an epic fail!!  I think that “tail” hanging down is wwwaaayy more suggestive than the reality of the nude.  When we first saw this statue, our mouths fell open, and we stared at each other in shock.  We thought someone had “enhanced” David.  It wasn’t until we got closer that we saw the covering was taped on.  He was gone the next week; I’m wondering if the buyer left the loincloth on.

Time for an about-face and look at something entirely innocent, still bad, but innocent:

Bird house with too many birdsThis ivy- and flower-covered bird house has just a little too much going on.  The bird nest weather vane is the coup de grâce; it’s amazing how many times crafters just don’t know when enough is enough.

We love the fall when thrift stores dig out vintage (appearing) clothing for Halloween costumes:

Dull and Drab dress rack   fabric detail

Could these dresses be any more Little House on the Prairie, only uglier?  If they were mine, I would beg for a head-to-toe pinny (pinafore) to wear over it.  It’s hard to believe that these were real dresses  were for sale at a clothing store; they would NOT be flattering on anyone.  Maybe they were out there for fathers to buy for their little girls to wear to prom; I can’t really think of another market for something worse than burlap.

To take the horrible taste of those dresses out of our figurative mouths, let’s look at this beautiful kimono:

Beautiful kimono

It was gorgeous with exquisite embroidery on salmon-colored silk.  If someone buys it for Halloween, I hope that they realize how lovely it is and treat it with respect.

One final clothing find:

Bedazzeled shoe  Bedazzeled shoe2

What is going on here?  Is this pair of shoes even wearable?  What a crazy idea–maybe this is what happens when a fashionista takes Molly.  I would have said LSD, but I think some amphetamines might be involved since there were a ton of beads used.  Heck, what do I know about illicit drugs; maybe someone just drank too much 5 Hour Energy and then looked in their bead box.

This shelf was full of those glued-together plates and bases made from candle holders, short dishes with pedestals, and vases:

These are okay, but ...

These aren’t too bad; it makes us shudder when crafters use beautiful antique dishes or candle holders.  Some modern glues are very difficult to impossible to negate, so these pieces are probably married forever, sob!

We’re partial to gourd creations:

Gourd artBoth of these are pretty dang fun.  We loved the primitive decorations on both of these creations.  Gourds are a perfect medium for wood burning; the yellowish-brown color shows off the lines caused by your burning implement.  Of course gourds take paint amazingly; I had never seen holes punched to enhance the design.

We had another whaaat moment during this shopping trip.  Yes, we saw all of this stuff on one momentous day:

Cowtastophy  Cowtastophy2

This cowtastrophy is beyond understanding.  There are two cows here, both with udders, sitting back to back under a cloak? a blanket?  I’m not sure what the feathers and ribbons are doing to help this hot mess.  I just can’t understand what inspired this statue; it’s pretty scary and inexplicable.  Any ideas from all of you faithful readers?

Let’s end with one of our pet peeves–shells:

Shell necklace

I wish I had the energy to do a magnificent rant about these shells.  What a poor excuse for a necklace and waste of life this is.  I can’t imagine someone looking at this and saying, “How beautiful–I must own it!”  Of course, it could be worked into an awesome Halloween costume.  Maybe a little old lady (a la Hallmark’s Maxine) could wear it with some crazy-patterned polyester shirt and pants combo.

Here’s wishing all of you happy hunting on your garage sales and thrift store expeditions.

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16 Responses to Some of This Post is Rated PG-13

  1. A house in our neighborhood has a David out front…with an artistically draped loincloth. I can’t help but wonder whether they covered the naughty bits out of their own modesty, or whether someone complained and made them cover it.

    • kathy & deb says:

      Hmmm … if that was my David statue and I was forced to cover him, he would be wearing seasonal loincloths. Right now you could just use a bright red maple leaf! Honestly, the things that offend people! But, I suppose you could move the statue to the backyard and he can reign in all his glory.

  2. I had went to the thrift store with those print dresses. They caught my attention, but not in a good way. Checked the clothing tag sewn into the neck and those ‘creations’ were made in India. Not that it helps or hurts… but some company paid to have those dresses shipped to the States to be foisted upon unsuspecting shoppers. And those poor shells. What did they do to deserve such shabby treatment? I think they would look much better if just left on the beach.

    • kathy & deb says:

      India huh? Well, that makes less sense than made on this continent. I’m thinking that the shipping should have covered the whole value of the dress. Then they were sold or donated to a thrift store so now that company is in the hole on this transaction. Common sense, not so common!

  3. Ruth says:

    These are all so great!! ……..
    Pee Wee Herman LOL
    I can’t figure out the beaded shoes …… HIppie High Heels? I don’t remember anything like those though!! And ………….. are those …..
    Conjoined cows???
    Thank you for the giggles as always!!

    • kathy & deb says:

      Thank you Ruth for reading! Conjoined (cowjoined) twins is the best explanation I’ve heard for those cows. The shoes weighed a ton since they were regular shoes with a lot of beads on them; it would be like wearing cement overshoes. It was one crazy shopping day!

  4. The “some amphetamines might be involved” line cracked me up!

  5. Andrea says:

    The cow statue eludes me. Completely. another laugh out loud post! Thanks for the giggles!

    • kathy & deb says:

      Another reader suggested that they were conjoined twins–that seems to be the only explanation. Thanks for reading and we’re glad you enjoyed it.

  6. I can’t believe those are dresses and not drapes. Someone needs to take the hot glue gun away from the person who made the marble shoes, and I grew up with Pee Wee and I am not ashamed to admit it well maybe just a little….

    • kathy & deb says:

      Those dresses were really, really ugly! I can’t even think of a way to recycle them except as rags. I always laughed at Pee Wee too, and am sad that he got in so much trouble. Thanks for reading!

  7. Dresses – Do you have a lot of Polygamists in your area?

    • kathy & deb says:

      Not that I know of–but the scary thing is that they seem to be gone! I hope a gang of boys are planning a terrifying group costume; the alternative that someone bought them for sister wives is awful!

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