April is the Cruellest Month

It’s spring fever time when a middle-aged woman’s mind turns to … gardening!!!  Well, that and the hope that there will be garage sales this Friday.  The weather has been spectacular here in NoCO with a couple of 70º days with plenty of sunshine and our old friend, the wind.  I was at a local nursery and saw these lovely flowers:

Peach blossoms  Forsythia

Those pretty pink flowers are peach blossoms, while the forsythia on the right are the variety ‘Northern Gold’.  Maybe, finally, winter is over!  Hang on, what is that you say, Wunderground?  It’s going to be in the 70s on Saturday, and on Sunday there is a 90% chance of snow and the low will be in the 20s?  Oh, April is indeed the cruellest month!

Speaking of April’s cruelty, we found this at the thrift store last week:

UrnIt has to be one of the ugliest urns I have ever seen.  What the heck would you do with it?  I wouldn’t use it in the kitchen to hold anything–not even rotten veggies for composting.  If it were going to be used for hold someone’s cremated remains, well you had better be planning on burying it or you’re going to be haunted–forever!  And rightfully so.

We are so hoping that the next three finds were created by or belonged to the same person:

The last straw

This pair deserves a “Put your hands over your head and step away from the straw” warning from the crafting police.  The straw would probably rather be used for animal bedding rather than stuff like this.

Next, and we offer our deepest apologies to our Native American readers:

Dollies with problems

This won’t be the only time we will apologize to Native Americans on behalf of bad crafters in this post.  I think the poor little angel on the left looks horrified by her purpley friend’s secret being revealed.  All this time, everyone thought purple girl just had a big booty.  Really, doll crafter, that’s the best you could do with these two?  Maybe you should just stick to mittens, scarves, and hats.  Consider this a warning shot to get your attention since  you ignored the first warning.

And finally:

Real live fantasy fur

We have done two bad craft posts dealing with Fantasy Fur (here and here).  It was so weird to finally see some of the “Fur” in the flesh, so to speak.  Since we have no desire to make flower dusters, we left it on the shelf for some enterprising crafter to find.  We think that only someone who abused straw and plastic dollies would think Fantasy Fur a fab crafting find.

Since we alluded to insults to Native Americans, let’s just get this over with:

Again, we can't tell you how sorry we are!

It was so big that we could see the backs of their heads while in the adjacent aisle.  We’re hoping that it was someone’s craft project; it couldn’t have been commercially done, could it?  I hold this very pose while trying to read something on a shelf through the progressive lens in my glasses.  Maybe they are so very snooty, or the backs of their heads weigh a ton.  Anyway, it makes for some bad southwest decor that can’t disappear fast enough for us.

It’s big, rusty-red, and perplexing:

Macrame MerdeThis fiber “art” kind of looks like the maker started to macrame and just couldn’t stop, since it was more than three feet in diameter.  It made both of us go “hmmm” at the same time, and not in a good way.  It has some potential for upcycling, think clock, zodiac wall hanging, or lots of little strings to use in the garden.

We liked this next thing even as it confused us:

Fifties Asian whatsit

It sure looks like there was more to this story.  Was it the base to a lamp, part of a shelf, or maybe a kleenex box cover?  It just seems incomplete as it stands now.

This little guy has every reason to look angry:

Angry AngelIsn’t it funny that the line painted for his mouth makes him look sullen (totally understandable) and if it just curved up at both ends, we would have a completely different reaction to him.  Well, that and at first I thought he was making an un-angelic gesture at the world with his right hand.  To paraphrase Jessica Rabbit, “I’m not mad, I’m just drawn that way”.

Angels remain a big seller at thrift stores.  Who knows why since they are almost always bad:

Angels like bunnies better than squirrelsWe first saw the interesting blue color, and yes that is pretty close to reality.  Then we could see squirrels in the tree looking at three angels.  Finally after some close inspection, we could see that there was a bunny being fed lettuce by those little blue cherubs.  It’s just an odd scene and an odd color.  Plus, bunnies are persona non gratis in my garden, even more so than squirrels.  At least squirrels are entertaining while being destructive pests; rabbits are just plain destructive.

Finally, we saw this fun vintage dining room set at the thrift store:

1930-40s dining setVery cool deco lines on the whole thing.  The wood was some light-colored veneer that was in pretty good shape.  The drawers looked to be redone or never used as they had a wooden guide and it wasn’t dinged up at all.  Unfortunately, the price tag was $999, which seems a bit much for a thrift store.  But, we liked it all the same.

Next week we have the Easter post coming, and while packing Kathy found some fun books we need to review for a couple of posts, so stay tuned.

Barbara Forde: last call for the porcelain flower pin you won in our anniversary drawing.  If we don’t hear from you by Sunday (4/13/14) we’re going to throw the names back into the hat and draw again.

 

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9 Responses to April is the Cruellest Month

  1. I love the blossoms and the deco set. The rest of the stuff should just makes me go, “hmmmm….”

  2. I went antiquing with a friend last Saturday and kept seeing things I knew you’d *love*! 🙂

    • kathy & deb says:

      Katherine, if you have a camera you can snap a pic and email it to us. We’ll post it, giving credit to its finder of course! It’s so funny how many things out there belong on our blog. 😉

  3. Barbara Forde says:

    Hi, I didn’t realize I won the pin. I’ve thought I read most of your post. 🙂

  4. Vivianne says:

    The fifties-asian-whatsit was usually found sitting on a mantle or atop a television cabinet. In the photo, the metal frame is actually upside down and is missing the planter insert (usually filled with ivy, typical of the period) that sits between the two figures.

    • kathy & deb says:

      There, we knew someone would know what the two Asian figurines were supposed to be. It does make sense that it was a planter–thanks for the info Vivianne!

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