Spring has sprung and we’re getting anxious for garage sale season to start–the sooner the better. Our thrift store finds have taken a turn towards the extremely weird and we blame it on city-wide insanity brought on by cabin fever. Turns out things are weird everywhere because I’ve seen some strange stuff in Florida, also.
Let’s do some Colorado first. I wish there were someone who could explain this:
It’s a fake wood door off a piece of that awful, cheap 1970s Spanish colonial style furniture. How dreadful, right down to the rusty piece of crushed velvet! It might work as a frame for some outrageously ugly piece of polyester fabric, a big ol’ 1970s mustache, a hideous pair of platform shoes, or even an 8-track tape. But then you would have to look at it on the wall, so maybe not. It needs to be in the Museum of Bad Taste or a dumpster–your choice.
Speaking of awful ’70s style, I think this poor dear fits right in that discussion:
She is just medium bad until you get to the head. There is a serious hot mess going on up there. Her hat is one of those crocheted snowflakes with roses attached. I think she is winking just to let you know the whole ensemble is a joke or she has just finished off a pitcher of margaritas. She is still on the same thrift store shelf after a month, and we worry she’ll never find a forever home.
Wouldn’t you think that when you’re setting up displays in thrift stores, you would pair things that complement each other? We’re not sure who thought this lamp went on this end table:
The end table was orange with a tropical thing going on with palm trees behind the faked turned pieces “wood” glued to the door. The lamp is bronze and funky; it needs a table equally as funky to make it look like it would fit in an eclectically-styled home (and please give it a new shade!) There’s no hope for that table; it just needs to be sanded down and repainted.
This isn’t necessarily bad, just odd:
It’s one of those milk-glass candy dishes, but what’s with the candle holder added on top? If you put large candles in it, the whole shebang could tip over–that would be a real live hot mess!
Speaking of candles, we are always amazed by all the candles we see that can’t be lit:
We call them, “Candles for those poor people pathologically frightened of open flames.” Are we supposed to light the porcelain wick? You can’t even turn on a battery-powered flame to make it look like a real-fake candle!
This isn’t bad, far from it, just unusual:
It’s a pancake mold that is shaped like an Aunt Jemima syrup bottle. The handle is folded up inside the mold. It took us a minute to figure out what it was and then we gave ourselves a well-deserved head slap–it was pretty obvious.
It’s hard to believe that this purse is commercially made, but it is:
It’s diamond-shaped pieces of fake leather, fake-embossed with designs, crocheted together with cream thread. If that weren’t weird enough, it had yellowish fake leather handles. Uff da, how did this ever get made?
These are so poorly and unimaginatively made that they are a waste of pottery or resin (I can’t remember which):
Anyone have a shotgun? Just say the word (it’s “pull” in case you didn’t know) and I’ll be happy to whip them up into the air if you promise to hit them.
This might be one of my favorite finds in a while even though it’s pretty strange too:
First day in Florida and my mom and I saw this lamp at a thrift store:
We’re not sure if it’s the lamp they’re on, or even the couch next to it, which is causing all the decorative angst. Those are some big old jugs of hooch they’re sipping from. Hopefully the contents can bring on forgetfulness, as well as dulling the pain.
This is for my beloved husband:
He loves to find tiny hats in our posts and there was a whole bin of them at the flea market. That’s my big ol’ finger at the bottom to show you just how tiny they were. I think normal-sized people must wear them because of the big clips attached. Not sure what kind of group would wear those teeny-tiny hats or why.
I stopped to look at the salt and pepper holder (green arrow), but we were all shocked at the skeletal rudeness on display. I’m not a prude, but I blurred some of the bad words and gestures:
If you’re going to hang a sign like “A**holes Garage” at least do it right–it’s bad enough you’re proclaiming that you’re an a-hole, don’t be a bad speller too! The chip and dip skeleton table obviously doesn’t want to share since it’s flipping the whole world off.
Just to take the taste of all that badness out of your mouth:
Here’s a picture of my parents’ puppy, Bo. He’s called a Teddy Bear which is a cross between a shih-tzu and a bichon frise. He’s only seven months old and adorable!
Thanks for reading. I’m heading out to a bunch of garage sales tomorrow and Saturday with family. I’m hoping for lots of good and a little bad just for your sake.