Or perhaps we should call it a mudley, as we all muddle through as best we can thanks to the help of delightful decorations and traditions. Unfortunately, some things are more of a hindrance than a delight, and we will now delight in presenting these, as a way to make you all laugh.
Every Christmas needs a tree, but these look like they have the mumps:
I don’t want to be too graphic, but really, doesn’t it look like some furry creature’s nose with the plague or something? We are pretty sure WHY these were closeouts at Tuesday Morning, but we still wonder WHO thought out the whole design idea.
Maybe this angel got a peek at the above trees, but something sure has her pissed off:
It’s probably a good thing that her hands don’t have separate fingers, or I am pretty sure I know what she would be doing. There’s a rude gesture coming your way, if she hears Jingle Bells one more time.
We like elves. Deb, in particular, loves the little Christmas ones, and the ceramic pixies all find a way into her plants and things, but neither of us were even slightly tempted by these:
They’re not cute, they’re not decorative, and they are just slightly on the creepy side. If you saw them on the street, you would probably discreetly cross to the other side, so as to avoid a direct confrontation. These were not far from the abscessed Christmas trees, so you can creep out your holiday all in one place.
Since everyone must entertain a little for the holidays, we thought we could give you some tips to set your holiday table:
Whatever you do, don’t forget to place the candles on the deer head mounts, make a gigantic centerpiece so no one can see each other to talk, and put ice cream at every place. Oh wait, that last one sounds like a good idea! Hubby is an avid hunter, so I have to admit to having a deer head mount, and he about had a conniption fit the year I hung two glass balls on its antlers–can’t even imagine the tirade about candle wax dripping on the head.
Hang your stockings, or if you don’t use those, put out your boots:
I love a really pretty Nativity set, and I searched for years to find one that I loved, but this is not it:
Why they stuck it in a jar is beyond me. This was someone’s ceramics project, and they worked really hard to make it as dreadful as possible. You think it’s bad now, imagine it lit up. What? You didn’t know you could plug it in? Oh yes, check it out:
Some people just don’t know when to quit, and then, you get decor like this:
It has gilding, and plastic flowers, and ribbon, and Christmas balls, and a Christmas bird, and (if I remember right, we saw this at a yard sale this past summer) the whole shebang was a music box. Really, why even bother with anything else? This has got you covered.
Well, maybe one more thing. How can you go wrong with a candy cane this size?
I know we decided not to do Ugly Christmas Sweaters this year, but we did find a couple that just had to make the cut:
We liked that they went with a whole reindeer theme on this one, and the garland was a nice touch. Now for the grand finale. This had us just rolling in the aisles. I don’t know too many men who would have the nerve to put it on, but it was made for your favorite fella, and you have to admit, it could be the life of the party:
Congratulations to Danielle, who writes the blog On the Upcycle, for winning the Christmas place mats in our Christmas giveaway.
Now that everything is ready, we wish all our loyal readers a joyous Christmas, a late Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, and a wonderful Winter Solstice! Peace to you and yours for the coming year.