A Medley of Christmas

Or perhaps we should call it a mudley, as we all muddle through as best we can thanks to the help of delightful decorations and traditions.  Unfortunately, some things are more of a hindrance than a delight, and we will now delight in presenting these, as a way to make you all laugh.

Every Christmas needs a tree, but these look like they have the mumps:

Furry Christmas Tress from Tuesday MorningI don’t want to be too graphic, but really, doesn’t it look like some furry creature’s nose with the plague or something?  We are pretty sure WHY these were closeouts at Tuesday Morning, but we still wonder WHO thought out the whole design idea.

Maybe this angel got a peek at the above trees, but something sure has her pissed off:

Touched by an angry angelIt’s probably a good thing that her hands don’t have separate fingers, or I am pretty sure I know what she would be doing.  There’s a rude gesture coming your way, if she hears Jingle Bells one more time.

We like elves.  Deb, in particular, loves the little Christmas ones, and the ceramic pixies all find a way into her plants and things, but neither of us were even slightly tempted by these:

Horrible ElvesThey’re not cute, they’re not decorative, and they are just slightly on the creepy side.  If you saw them on the street, you would probably discreetly cross to the other side, so as to avoid a direct confrontation.  These were not far from the abscessed Christmas trees, so you can creep out your holiday all in one place.

Since everyone must entertain a little for the holidays, we thought we could give you some tips to set your holiday table:

Vintage Christmas Table DecorWhatever you do, don’t forget to place the candles on the deer head mounts, make a gigantic centerpiece so no one can see each other to talk, and put ice cream at every place.  Oh wait, that last one sounds like a good idea!  Hubby is an avid hunter, so I have to admit to having a deer head mount, and he about had a conniption fit the year I hung two glass balls on its antlers–can’t even imagine the tirade about candle wax dripping on the head.

Hang your stockings, or if you don’t use those, put out your boots:

Vintage Santa Boot planterMaybe lose the plastic poinsettia, so Santa can fill it up, and your eyes can have a rest.  I think the boot, by itself, would be mostly harmless, so let’s go with that.

I love a really pretty Nativity set, and I searched for years to find one that I loved, but this is not it:

Lladro NativityWhy they stuck it in a jar is beyond me.  This was someone’s ceramics project, and they worked really hard to make it as dreadful as possible.  You think it’s bad now, imagine it lit up.  What?  You didn’t know you could plug it in?  Oh yes, check it out:

Lladro nativity is well litNothing says Christmas star like multicolor electric lights.  Mary is probably praying that they will burn out quickly, and leave the little family in peace.

Some people just don’t know when to quit, and then, you get decor like this:

Christmas BirdIt has gilding, and plastic flowers, and ribbon, and Christmas balls, and a Christmas bird, and (if I remember right, we saw this at a yard sale this past summer) the whole shebang was a music box.  Really, why even bother with anything else?  This has got you covered.

Well,  maybe one more thing.  How can you go wrong with a candy cane this size?

Giant Candy CaneYou could use it like a shepherd’s hook to snag Santa, if he had the nerve to pass by your house, or just us it to prop up the corner of the barn, like they did.

I know we decided not to do Ugly Christmas Sweaters this year, but we did find a couple that just had to make the cut:

Ugly Christmas SweatshirtWe liked that they went with a whole reindeer theme on this one, and the garland was a nice touch.  Now for the grand finale.  This had us just rolling in the aisles.  I don’t know too many men who would have the nerve to put it on, but it was made for your favorite fella, and you have to admit, it could be the life of the party:

Naughty snowman

Congratulations to Danielle, who writes the blog On the Upcycle, for winning the Christmas place mats in our Christmas giveaway.

Now that everything is ready, we wish all our loyal readers a joyous Christmas, a late Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, and a wonderful Winter Solstice!  Peace to you and yours for the coming year.

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14 Responses to A Medley of Christmas

  1. Those are very odd Christmas trees. They look like they should be quarantined… forever.

    • kathy & deb says:

      I described the red bumps as “pustular” in appearance; that tree is so ugly it could give your mama bubonic plague!

  2. Terri Gold says:

    This stuff is really bad. The trees (hahaha) are just alien-ish and do look diseased. The upsidedown snowman leaves me speechless.

    • kathy & deb says:

      We were pretty speechless at the trees and the snowman sweater too! Then being us, we burst into wild cackles and took a picture. 😉

  3. Oh my God–this is some of the ugliest stuff ever! The snowman had me laughing out loud! You girls made my day!!

  4. Oh my goodness! Thank you for a good laugh this morning. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to my two favorite shoppers! Hugs, Katherine

  5. Winter Owls says:

    Hee hee! A very funny post. I have to tell you that my mother in law has one of the elves and yes, I agree with you, they are creepy!

    • kathy & deb says:

      Thanks for the kind words. Hope your M-I-L keeps the creepy elves in a dark corner so you don’t come upon them unexpectedly!

  6. LOL this post is an example of why I love your blog! Just funny : ) especially disco lights nativity!

  7. Anny says:

    You are hilarious! Just another reason why I’m nominating you for Versatile Blogger Award.
    http://itssewanny.com/2014/01/02/thank-you-bloggers/

    • kathy & deb says:

      Anny, thank you sooo much–we are truly honored to be nominated. Our mission is to bring a smile to our readers–one person at a time if necessary! Thanks for reading our blog.

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