God Rest Ye Merry Gentlecrafters

Yep, it’s that time of the year when we look at Christmas craft projects–both good and bad.  Of course, being us, there are so many more bad!  It isn’t just the stuff we see in thrift stores; no, we even pore through our vintage craft books looking for amazing projects.

Let’s start with something I threatened, er promised, to show you last summerFantasy Fur Christmas!

Fantasy Fur Christmas

The candle ring/pillow look isn’t all that festive, even with jewelry.  God help you if a burning piece of wick should fall into that furry mess.  The song isn’t, “All I Want for Christmas is to Burn Down the House”.  Looking at the white candle, it almost appears that it was made of fantasy fur all smoothed down.  In fact, the repeated acts of smoothing down might be one of the worst parts of fantasy fur decor:

Fantasy Fur Decorations

I really don’t mind the fur Christmas trees; they kind of remind me of a feather tree I own.  Although I don’t have to keep smoothing my feather tree down to keep it looking good.  The constant fluffing would make these things annoying.  Besides, what is so wonderful about fantasy fur?  I rather like the felt and felted wool snowmen and trees, thank you very much.  And I’m sure that angel would rather be dressed in something a little more slimming than fur.

This ornament looks even worse in black and white:

The head of Cousin It

It kind of reminds me of Cousin Itt’s head, if you could see his eyes–and that thought moves it right over to creepy!  Besides, I fail to understand the connection between fantasy fur and a nativity scene; just make them in hollow eggs or yarn-wrapped balloons like you’re supposed to!

Nativity egg ornament

This is so ambitious:

Plastic pop holder snowflake

Someone took all of those plastic pop bottle holders, and fashioned them into a giant snowflake.  If that weren’t enough, they spray-painted it silver.  I don’t have a problem with this craft project.  If you had them out hanging in your yard, they would look kind of cool.  Plus, it takes something that could cause harm, if you don’t dispose of it correctly, and recycles it.  Unfortunately, at the same garage sale, there was this wreath, hopefully not done by the same person:

Plastic bag wreath

It so doesn’t work, and you can see they really put a lot of effort into it, too.  Wreaths can be a problem; look at these:

Wreathes   Wreathes2

These are from Better Homes and Gardens Treasury of Christmas Ideas circa 1966, and I expect better from BH&G!  The straw place mats on the right are particularly egregious; there is nothing Christmassy about them.  The poor little paper doilies above the straw place mats deserve a better bow–it looks like something I might tie.  I think the big foil wreath on the left is supposed to be red–but it sure looks red and pink in the photo.  If it was done right, it might be cool in a ’60s kind of way.  Kathy was just telling me about using candlesticks to display your glass tree toppers.  I might use different candlesticks; those wooden Danish modern sticks just don’t work.

Just so you don’t think that BH&G only picks on wreaths, take a look at these Christmas trees:

O Christmas Tree!  O Christmas Tree2!

Those flocked trees on the left are just eyesores–especially the white one with the “gay hued butterflies of red and orange, yellow and green”.  The only thing worse is the red-flocked tree with white doves!  I can’t even bring myself to comment on that blood-red tree of Satan.  The multi-colored tree on a stick, on the right-hand page, is made of four-inch circles, loosely basted and drawn, then stuffed with cotton batting.  Then you glue them all on!  That’s a lot of work for something so fugly!  Again, I’m sort of worried about a Christmas fire with the burning candlesticks right next to the pom-pom tree, which complements the “Spanish-flavored decor of the entire room”.  Those Spaniards and their love of blue-green pom-poms.

I could go on and on with this book, but there will be other Christmases.  If you enjoy a really mixed bag of vintage crafts, holiday decorations, and food, I highly recommend this craft book.  I’ll leave you with the back cover to whet your appetite:

BH&G Christmas ideas back

Isn’t it fabulous?

Speaking of fabulous, take a gander at the aluminum foil sparkly crafts:

Foil Angel   Sparklers 2

These come from a magazine called Crafts ‘n things from 1977.  I found the nativity scene in an egg in the same magazine.  The aluminum foil crafts are just so strange–that angel candlestick is just weird as the wreath.  There are so many better things to make angels and wreaths from–save your foil for cooking the turkey.  For more aluminum foil crafts, take a look at this oldie but goody post from three years ago.

This magazine seems to hate angels:

Egg Carton Angel

Ohh, you could make her in lots of different colored scales cut from those egg cartons from the ’70s?  I can remember blue, green, and yellow ones.  Again, I’m hoping they don’t get near a flame because they will melt in one hot minute.

I so prefer the macramé Santa from last week to this one:

Super Creepy Santa

Those eyes don’t match and are just so horrible.  In fact, his whole expression seems to say that he has been at the spiked eggnog prior to this picture being taken.  His self-satisfied little smirk is the last straw!

We aren’t going to show any more bad Christmas sweaters.  Take a look at BuzzFeed’s ugly Christmas sweaters–we can’t compete with those.

Also, if you’re interested in entering the drawing for the felt Christmas place mats:

Christma felt placemats

go on over to our Facebook page, scroll down ’til you see the place mats, and leave a comment.  If you don’t do Facebook, leave a comment here on the blog.  The drawing will close 6:00pm MST Saturday.

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This entry was posted in Book Review, Friday Finds, Holidays and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to God Rest Ye Merry Gentlecrafters

  1. Oh… I remember egg-carton crafts, but I don’t remember seeing them used in Christmas crafts. Perhaps they all melted (or some benevolent soul set them on fire) before they showed up at the annual church craft sale? And I have a confession: I remember combing (yes as in hair) a macramé Christmas wreath that my sister-in-law made in the ’80s. She had cut lengths of green macramé yarn (and not a holiday green, but a sickly green worthy of the Grinch) and looped it around a wire circle. For whatever reason, I got roped into combing the yarn so it would fluff out. And if I picture the wreath… the fluffy yarn looked pretty darn close to fantasy fur! Of course, the whole thing was finished off with a red velvet bow.

    • kathy & deb says:

      Oh dear, the macrame wreath sounds hideous! How can that be better than an evergreen or pine cone wreath? What were we thinking?? I’ve never seen a plastic egg carton anything and I hope my lucky streak continues.

  2. when I was a teenager I made those sandwich bag wreaths one year as gifts LOL Oh boy! what was I thinking?

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