What’s Thanksgiving without leftovers? So, if last week’s post was Thanksgiving dinner, then this post is the turkey sandwiches you eat for days after Thanksgiving.
I know why Kathy didn’t use this picture–what the heck is it?
As near as we can remember, it’s a napkin holder done in low relief–very low! Plus, the paint job wasn’t inspired, either. If I were that turkey, I would be complaining about having to sit on corn cobs; as if it wasn’t bad enough to be the star of the Thanksgiving dinner table!
What’s going on in the world of cheap holiday decor?
Kathy saw these at Hobby Lobby and knew at once that they were never going home with anyone, what with their orange leafy feathers and wheat-sheaf tails. I, for one, would much rather stare the fold-out turkey in his gimlet eye, than look upon these two while passing the mashed potatoes. It makes my blood boil when I think of all the waste tied up in stuff like this! I think we were so much better off when people decorated their tables like this:
This is a clay turkey that our friend, Urban Overalls, made when she was five. Her mother kept it, and Connie discovered it at her sister’s house much later and reclaimed it. I’m also very fond of the little turkey hands kids make and color for Thanksgiving. Give me a whole table full of those kinds of decorations!
We’re not sold on this craft project either:
If you can’t find a cool fold-out turkey, have some kids make you a turkey. No need to get one of your dirty gardening gloves (because of course you’re going to start this Thursday at 12:01am when the stores are closed) and try to make it look like a turkey. I think that this crafter’s heart is in the right place, but an old black glove doesn’t make a great turkey.
Wow, I think someone just went all Pilgrim on Mr. and Mrs. Santa:
Okay, I guess they work if you’re that sort of person –we are so not doing our tables that way. I don’t know what’s on his head, but it sure isn’t the prototypical pilgrim hat all buckled up tight against new ideas. Finally, there might be some storage issues with them, after they get splashed with gravy and cranberry sauce.
This picture has me wondering:
Do I feel more sorry for the pilgrim or the wreath? They aren’t terrible, but I think that they should split up and go their separate ways–they’re just no good together. Plus, Kathy reports that this was a kinky bondage wreath, what with the way pilgrim boy was attached.
This plaque might feature my favorite turkey:
He looks to be in a tryptophan haze, which is strange since he is the source of most Thanksgiving overdoses of the amino acid. I just really like the groovy ’60s vibe of the tail and outfit. Think if Alice of Alice’s Restaurant Massacree had a turkey–this would be it!
If you want your very own fold-out turkey, here’s how you do it:
Take a Reader’s Digest, fold the pages back, spray paint them brown, and voila: Gordon, the Gobbler! We are assured that he will be the center of attention at your Thanksgiving feast. I rather believe that YOU will be receiving many strange looks from your family and friends if you create a Gordon. We have featured many such crafts in our Vintage Crazy and Not-So-Crazy Craft Pattern posts. These craft projects fall into two groups–awesome or awesomely peculiar. Either one works for us!
I bought a whole pile of Better Homes and Gardens magazines from the 1940s at a garage sale. They have tons of really interesting ads:
Wow, I never knew that you shouldn’t serve cranberry slices with a regular spoon. I don’t think I have ever seen one of these servers, but if we meet up at an estate sale, at least I’ll know what it is! By the way, did you see the article to the left of the cranberry server? It explains some of my cooking woes; my pans are agin me!
In the list of autumnal decorations, I find cornucopias to be fairly benign:
That is unless they’re made of dough, glisten like a giant slug, AND are filled with bad plastic fruit and veggies! That dough cornucopia belongs in a bad SyFy movie killing folks left and right, and leaving a giant slime trail. What’s wrong with a woven basket cornucopia? Filled with real fall veggies and fruits? Plus, my experience with those dough decorations supporting generations of mice in my garage doesn’t fill me with love either!
Finally, here’s a Thanksgiving ad from those aforementioned vintage magazines:
Mother’s little helper doesn’t know how lucky she is that the sprayer isn’t aimed just a little higher. I’m pretty sure mom might drop that turkey if she soaked those perfect pies sitting on the window sill. But, no, that’s just my warped imagination; everything is going perfectly in American Standard’s world. Mom doesn’t even need an apron to cover her white peasant blouse.
We wish all of you a Thanksgiving so perfect that you don’t even mind doing all those dishes! Tune in Black Friday for something to take your mind off the hustle and bustle of holiday shopping.