Son of the Turkey Trotters

What’s Thanksgiving without leftovers?  So, if last week’s post was Thanksgiving dinner, then this post is the turkey sandwiches you eat for days after Thanksgiving.

I know why Kathy didn’t use this picture–what the heck is it?

There's a turkey in there somewhereAs near as we can remember, it’s a napkin holder done in low relief–very low!  Plus, the paint job wasn’t inspired, either.  If I were that turkey, I would be complaining about having to sit on corn cobs; as if it wasn’t bad enough to be the star of the Thanksgiving dinner table!

What’s going on in the world of cheap holiday decor?

 we sit here long enoughKathy saw these at Hobby Lobby and knew at once that they were never going home with anyone, what with their orange leafy feathers and wheat-sheaf tails.  I, for one, would much rather stare the fold-out turkey in his gimlet eye, than look upon these two while passing the mashed potatoes.  It makes my blood boil when I think of all the waste tied up in stuff like this!  I think we were so much better off when people decorated their tables like this:

clay-turkeyThis is a clay turkey that our friend, Urban Overalls, made when she was five.  Her mother kept it, and Connie discovered it at her sister’s house much later and reclaimed it.  I’m also very fond of the little turkey hands kids make and color for Thanksgiving.  Give me a whole table full of those kinds of decorations!

We’re not sold on this craft project either:

11-2-13-Decoupage-Glove-Turkey-YT-e1383370268785

If you can’t find a cool fold-out turkey, have some kids make you a turkey.  No need to get one of your dirty gardening gloves (because of course you’re going to start this Thursday at 12:01am when the stores are closed) and try to make it look like a turkey.  I think that this crafter’s heart is in the right place, but an old black glove doesn’t make a great turkey.

Wow, I think someone just went all Pilgrim on Mr. and Mrs. Santa:

Jolly PilgrimsOkay, I guess they work if you’re that sort of person –we are so not doing our tables that way.  I don’t know what’s on his head, but it sure isn’t the prototypical pilgrim hat all buckled up tight against new ideas.  Finally, there might be some storage issues with them, after they get splashed with gravy and cranberry sauce.

This picture has me wondering:

Plus, there might be some storage issues with them after they get splashed with gravy and cranberry sauce.Do I feel more sorry for the pilgrim or the wreath?  They aren’t terrible, but I think that they should split up and go their separate ways–they’re just no good together.  Plus, Kathy reports that this was a kinky bondage wreath, what with the way pilgrim boy was attached.

This plaque might feature my favorite turkey:

Look Deep Into My EyesHe looks to be in a tryptophan haze, which is strange since he is the source of most Thanksgiving overdoses of the amino acid.  I just really like the groovy ’60s vibe of the tail and outfit.  Think if Alice of Alice’s Restaurant Massacree had a turkey–this would be it!

If you want your very own fold-out turkey, here’s how you do it:

Centerfold TurkeyTake a Reader’s Digest, fold the pages back, spray paint them brown, and voila: Gordon, the Gobbler!  We are assured that he will be the center of attention at your Thanksgiving feast.  I rather believe that YOU will be receiving many strange looks from your family and friends if you create a Gordon.  We have featured many such crafts in our Vintage Crazy and Not-So-Crazy Craft Pattern posts.  These craft projects fall into two groups–awesome or awesomely peculiar.  Either one works for us!

I bought a whole pile of Better Homes and Gardens magazines from the 1940s at a garage sale.  They have tons of really interesting ads:

Canned Cranberry Server circa 1949Wow, I never knew that you shouldn’t serve cranberry slices with a regular spoon.  I don’t think I have ever seen one of these servers, but if we meet up at an estate sale, at least I’ll know what it is!  By the way, did you see the article to the left of the cranberry server?  It explains some of my cooking woes; my pans are agin me!

In the list of autumnal decorations, I find cornucopias to be fairly benign:

Bread dough cornucopiaThat is unless they’re made of dough, glisten like a giant slug, AND are filled with bad plastic fruit and veggies!  That dough cornucopia belongs in a bad SyFy movie killing folks left and right, and leaving a giant slime trail.  What’s wrong with a woven basket cornucopia?  Filled with real fall veggies and fruits?  Plus, my experience with those dough decorations supporting generations of mice in my garage doesn’t fill me with love either!

Finally, here’s a Thanksgiving ad from those aforementioned vintage magazines:

I'm helping!Mother’s little helper doesn’t know how lucky she is that the sprayer isn’t aimed just a little higher.  I’m pretty sure mom might drop that turkey if she soaked those perfect pies sitting on the window sill.  But, no, that’s just my warped imagination; everything is going perfectly in American Standard’s world.  Mom doesn’t even need an apron to cover her white peasant blouse.

We wish all of you a Thanksgiving so perfect that you don’t even mind doing all those dishes!  Tune in Black Friday for something to take your mind off the hustle and bustle of holiday shopping.

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14 Responses to Son of the Turkey Trotters

  1. Rhonda W says:

    We have one of those cranberry servers, came with my husbands late grandmothers silver set.

    • kathy & deb says:

      Lucky you! Kathy and I are on a mission to find one–we don’t ever recall seeing such a server before. They would be a a nice server for lots of different foods.

    • Amy S. says:

      My mother received one of these servers as a gift about 40 years ago. She used it for years and still owns it.

      • kathy & deb says:

        Sounds like there are more of these out there than we thought–we have heard from a number of people who have these servers in their families. We are on the hunt for one for both of us; it will be interesting to see how long it takes us to find two.

  2. I also like the turkey plaque. There is something about the hat and the unblinking eyes. I think he may have had a shot or two of espresso.

  3. Terri Gold says:

    Are you familiar with the ‘aroma’ of dried dough objects? Not pleasant.
    As a former art teacher in the NYC public schools, I can guarantee that there are no Thanksgiving projects that are worth looking at.
    I do like the vintage graphics and ads…the housewives in their pearls and shirtwaist dresses…the happy children…the spotless kitchens. If only.

    • kathy & deb says:

      Well, it doesn’t surprise me that something that looks unpleasant, smells unpleasant! Another strike against bread dough projects! Maybe the post war ’40s are when we started the myths about how perfect life was back in our grandparent’s days. In comparison to the war years and depression years, the late ’40s and ’50s probably did seem idyllic. No crying children, no dirty kitchens, no housewives stewing about being stuck home all the time–hah!

  4. I can’t help it! I like the 1960’s turkey lol

  5. Nancy Long says:

    I have a cranberry server, too! My mother always used it to serve a jello salad she made every Thanksgiving. I thought it was a jello server.

    • kathy & deb says:

      There! We knew that it could be used to serve other foods too! I was thinking it could have served aspic, but of course that’s just tomato jello.

  6. Stephanie Gazell says:

    The giant glistening slug cornucopia comment made me howl!!! :>) We had a cranberry server, passed down from my grandmother along with nut forks and grapefruit spoons. It’s been lost somewhere along the way. I’m going to be looking for one now, though!

    • kathy & deb says:

      Stephanie, you made our day with your comment! Cranberry servers are on notice; you’re being hunted! Who knew that a 1940s Better Homes and Gardens could still be influencing us. Be sure and let us know if you find your server.

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