Cupid Strikes Again!

It’s that time of year, when lovers everywhere lose every ounce of taste they once possessed, and scour the world for the worst Valentine’s Day gift on the planet!  We have been just a bit “off” of our schedule this year, so mercifully, this post is short and sweet,  the best treat for our Valentines.

As always, the monkey of anyone’s dream (nightmare?) has made a yearly appearance:

Kisses for saleDon’t those big red lips make you want to pucker up?  Yeah, didn’t think so.

Really, save those dollars for chocolate, and just give her this pretty card:

Tasteful and only 69 cents!It’s hard to see through the plastic, but it was made of daintily cut paper, and hey, it was only $.69.  You could have enough left over for a romantic picnic for two, and still stay within your budget.

Much better than the person who decided this flocked greeting was appropriate to the day:

Plastic, flocking, why bother?Flocked plastic and tacky ribbon roses are likely to get the door slammed in your face faster than monkey love.

Of course, ALL of the above are easy winners compared to this:

Valentine BearWords just fail me. ______________________________________  Etiquette compels us to thank Todd for this submission; we hope that this bear isn’t what he bought his fine wife for Valentine’s Day!

OK, I’m back, that last one almost did me in.  I can’t even conceive of a snide comment that is worthy of that bear!

We did notice this pair of items.  This is good for your one-stop shopping.  A His and Hers Valentine, sure to please:

His 'n Hers Valentine's Day gift setHonest, we didn’t set that up.  Wouldn’t it be romantic if he wrote “I Love You” in fertilizer across the lawn?  However, you might need to get on the roof in a couple of months to appreciate the sentiment.

To end our post, we want to make a suggestion for all those hard up for a gift.  Skip the monkeys, bears, weird alien pink things, and flocking to spring for one of these:

HankiesAt least a pretty Valentine hanky will always come in handy.  Deb bought this whole bundle for $2.99, and if she hadn’t seen it first, I would have had it in my hot little hand.  For those of you wondering who Shirley is, well, we don’t know anyone named Shirley, and we obviously have her hanky.  So, as a bonus, the first person named Shirley, who emails us, will receive their very own hanky back!!  Hope your sweetie gets it right for Valentine’s Day, and if not, buy your own chocolate.

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9 Responses to Cupid Strikes Again!

  1. tkarengold says:

    Sh*t B*tch, this column is fine.

  2. Connie says:

    While my name isn’t Shirley… it was my mom’s name. And I have a thing for well done vintage hankies. In our guest bedroom is a valance made of vintage hankies from my mom, grandma and great aunt. It is lovely and I think of them whenever I see it.

    • kathydeb says:

      What a nice way to display a collection! I have some aprons on the valence over the kitchen sink so they are out where I can see them–great minds think alike.

  3. Connie says:

    Am pleased to report…did not receive a “Shit Bitch You is Fine” bear for Valentine’s Day. Instead… tickets to a play.

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