You Light Up My Life

I just love a themed post.  Over the last couple of weeks, we have seen several bad lamps, so what is more natural than to group them together?  After seeing these lights, I’ll never curse the darkness again.

These two lamps show the problems that arise when you torture useful items:

Why can’t things just be what they are?  I don’t think that the jingle bells or the butter churn are improved by light bulbs and shades.  Although, I’m not sure that the butter churn was ever functional, which makes it even worse in my mind.

Where do you even start with this lamp?

We decided that some naughty thrift store employee was just messing with us by putting those two together.  We just can’t believe that anyone could be so taste deficient as to think a tiny blue polka dot shade belongs on that lamp.  Is it just me, or does the design on the lamp look like a stylized face?  That probably is a much better concept than whatever southwest design the maker had in mind.

It’s hard to figure out what decor these lamps go with–bachelor pad, anyone?

Not even the donors could figure out what kind of shades to plop on these beauties.  Probably some kind of woven grass would work, since the lamps have a tiki vibe.  Or, I could see the pair lighting a traditional 1960’s living room complete with avocado green shag carpet and a dark brown tufted naugahyde couch.  One last thought about these two lamps–if all else fails, you could use them as juggling clubs.  Please unplug them first:  Second Hand Roses cares!

This next light really doesn’t look all that bad, especially compared to the previous lamps:

This is supposed to look like jasperware (which doesn’t come in yellow) with japonaise or chinoiserie decoration; it appears to be a resin or plaster material with clunky flower decorations.  It’s annoying because it could have been so much better; lots of stuff we see never had a chance to be good.

I’m including these candle sticks since they are technically “lighting”:

God help us all if a spark should come into contact with the decoration on these sticks; it could be Mrs. O’Leary’s cow all over again.  We do so dislike gold-colored decor; it ends up looking tacky instead of elegant 99% of the time.

The only way this wire ship could ever work is as a votive candle holder:

Wouldn’t it be splendid all lit up on a lanai?

At an estate sale, we were astonished to see how many angels were in the dearly departed’s collection:

It was hard to be snarky around so much goodness and light.  We just snapped a quick picture and got the heck out, before lightning struck.

The bling on this purse was blinding in sunlight:

Looking at it gave my eyes a seizure; on the other hand, it will go with absolutely everything!  Of course, she did it all herself; begging the question, “WHY?”

Our final entrant in the “light” category contains words to live by:

Chocolate makes life worth living.

We aren’t sure if you should be happy or terrified that our Christmas posts are right around the corner.  Of course we would love to see your pictures–it’s reassuring to hear from folks that share our point of view.

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