A Perilous Pile of Friday Finds

I’m going to try to finish up our oldest finds; we have been really busy shopping, and have tons of horrors to report.  Looking through our picture files, it’s a good thing I’m not wearing pair of Zaphod Beeblebrox’s sunglasses (the Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses [that] have been specially designed to help people develop a relaxed attitude to danger. At the first hint of trouble, they turn totally black and thus prevent you from seeing anything that might alarm you.)  I might not have been able to see anything.  I suggest you all don your sunglasses right now!

This is the find that reminded me of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:

What did the poor dolphins ever do to us to deserve such treatment?  If I were a dolphin, and saw these statues, it would be So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish time.

Do you ever wonder if the folks who write the information on a product’s box wander the world with long wooden noses, or pants perennially on fire?

I’m pretty sure that no one would be proud to give or own this Ike decanter made in a really bad imitation carnival glass.  I guess you could put your dolphin statues right next to Ike, and stun the viewers into a coma.

Speaking of stunning viewers into comas, here’s the outfit to do it (if you don’t have any purple glass handy):

It’s for that woman who doesn’t think a gold metallic suit makes enough of a statement.  “You know what this suit needs?  Rhinestone buttons and rhinestones piping on the edges of the jacket and a slit of the skirt! Won’t it be stunning?” is how I imagine the Dynasty wannabe client describing the outfit to her poor beleaguered seamstress.

I love and collect poodle statues, however I have my limits:

It just missed being “so ugly it’s cute”, but it’s a miss never the less.  I’m happy to report that it was gone the next time I visited the thrift store; someone must be less picky than I am.

The poodle was my way of easing you into the ugly ceramics portion of the post.  These two things were next to each other on the shelf; I’m surprised the shelf didn’t collapse into a black hole of bad taste:

Sorry I didn’t warn you about the clown, but I couldn’t see him thanks to my pair of Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses.

This next little piece of pottery is wrong, but not horribly wrong:

It wants to be a sweet little piece of Victorian inspired china; instead it’s clunky and unnatural (in the sense of not true to nature).

Here is another dangerous duo, although I’m not sure what they are:

Could they be pet headstones?  Or maybe bookends for the “we disapprove of everything” portion of your library.  Keep them away from your refrigerator–I’m sure their expressions would curdle milk.

Usually yarn is a fun and useful item; rarely do we think of it as a hazardous material.  However, in our blog, yarn is usually a harbinger of  trouble, and I think you’ll agree after seeing the next couple of items.

I wonder if bad afghans could be shredded and used for packing material?  It might be the best use for this one–you would only see the tiniest bit of it in one glance:

I don’t even think these are leftover colors thrown together, as it’s a big afghan, and the colors repeat without substitution.

We weren’t even sure what this was when we first picked it up:

After close examination, we decided it was a dog, but that still doesn’t explain the side view (the dog’s head is on the right in this next picture):

Isn’t it strange?  And no, this time it isn’t because my photography skills could be kindly described as basic.  The yarn has been looped about a wire form that is open in the middle.  Do you think someone wore this like a tiara?  It really was puzzling, and not in a good way.

Oh no, we’re not done yet, there is more.  Something went terribly awry with this craft project:

I think this might be used to hang your towel on, but that begs the question of why would anyone want to hang their towel on a macrame frog that resembles an alien invader.

This little tapestry made us laugh:

Ah technology, the bane and boon of our existence!

We have pretty good imaginations, and some knowledge of crafts, but for the life of us, we couldn’t imagine how these grapes would ever be used:

They might be made of velvet or velour, but that really doesn’t help explain them.

We think this might be a vintage souvenir of a trip to Egypt:

The pen holder sure looks like the same shape used in banks from times immemorial.  In about ten more years, we’ll talk about note pads the same way we talk about vinyl records, or Brownie cameras.

I guess this isn’t as bad as we thought, since it had a “sold” sign on it:

This little table is the strangest combination of found items.  The top is green formica, trimmed with long black fringe.  The base is made from the gutted body of a heater of some sort that looks kind of like a wood-burning stove, but isn’t.  Different strokes for different folks, since someone liked it enough to buy it.

Finally, when I got up this morning, I saw this fellow resting in my back yard:

Once people start moving around in the house, the mule deer usually move on.  They notice us pass by windows, and it seems to spook them.  However, the neighbor’s dog barking like a fool didn’t seem to cause a moment’s alarm.

Thanks for reading our blog, and stay tuned for the further adventures of the Lucy and Ethel of the thrift store community.

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2 Responses to A Perilous Pile of Friday Finds

  1. Matty says:

    Those bookend things = http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/grumpy-cat-01.jpg
    Another great and horrifying post, ladies!

    • kathydeb says:

      They could be triplets but while the cat is pretty funny, there isn’t anything funny about those cemetery marker bookend things.

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