Halloweenies

Ah yes, that ghoulish time of year, when a certain amount of poor taste is fun and totally kitschy.  This is one of our favorite times of year to scour the shelves.  For me, there is a certain fascination in looking for all the “best” stuff to add to our ever-growing collection.  I am usually in trouble when the family likes it too.  This is why it now takes all day to decorate our house, and there are enough decorations left in the box to do it again.  Despite some winners, there are just enough weenies to fill a post, so “Enter if you dare”.

I think Deb likes to stick these pictures in our files just to annoy me, and point out that she has gotten to go to some Savers while I am stuck at home:

Oh, we miss them so much.  Sigh …

Of course, when venturing into the great abyss that is the costume aisle at any local thrift, you run the risk of encountering something like this:

I don’t know how many polyesters died to make this, but it was totally unnecessary and in vain.  Do you think it contaminated everything else in the closet hanging near it, or did it reside in a whole closet of terror?

This was just about the largest witch we have ever seen.  Didn’t make her good, but at least she was large.  She also seems to have had some identity issues, and might really like to be a scarecrow deep down inside:

This next ugly crone didn’t quite make it to scary, and she missed the bus for cute, and ended up just plain odd.  I  can’t ever imagine making the commitment to buy her for your Halloween decor:

Now, even witches need friends, but how desperate do you have to be to make up to an orange gorilla?

The toad makes sense, as everyone knows a toad is totally a witch’s familiar, but there just shouldn’t be any monkey business in Halloween.  Actually, Beloved Husband thinks the toad seems to be proposing a bit of “monkey business” to the orange gorilla.

So while we are feeling witchy, we did actually like this hat:

Sort of hat, companion, and traffic cone all in one.  It was pretty odd, but we both could see ourselves wearing it.  I know, scary, isn’t it?  I have been told by readers that they are relieved when we say we DIDN’T buy things, so to set your mind at ease, we didn’t.

I do have to make a tiny true confession.  One of these days I will have to do a full-blown one on my “thing” for swizzle sticks.  Actually, Deb and I both have a little fetish for vintage bar ware.  I do cocktail books and swizzle sticks and she goes right for the shakers and glasses, but I digress.  I just wanted to justify this purchase made this past summer:

A full set of eight swizzle sticks with jeweled eyes.  Each one has different colored eyes, so you know which drink is yours.

I suppose you could only mix Zombies with these.

This one tried to be good and failed:

I think the biggest problem is the parrot beak on that crow.  Someone has been stealing dead parrots, painting them black and passing them off as crows.  Then they had to point out to you that the whole thing was “spooky”.  The maker really needs to quit watching Martha Stewart.

In order to leave you with a smile we present this:

Well, you gotta admit, he is smiling.  He would make a great pumpkin for a dentist’s office, and with a little bit of creative painting, imagine the braces you could put on this sucker and use him to advertise your orthodontia practice.

If you’ve come across any really scary decorations, send in the photos.  We’d love to see them!  Till next week.

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