Oh No You Didn’t–Cantankerous Friday Finds

As Kathy predicted, we had a bumper crop of finds last Friday.  Painfully, a number of them were home craft projects gone wrong.  I admire the can-do spirit that pervades the USA; do-it-yourself enthusiasts even have their own TV channels to demonstrate home and garden renovations and repairs.  I would suggest that most people stop at those kinds of projects; it would save us the distress of viewing their unsuccessful projects at the thrift stores.  Yeah, it is all about us; people can make crappy craft projects to their heart’s content, if they would be considerate and unmake them after they are through!  When my projects are unsuccessful, I don’t donate them, thinking, “Thrift store shoppers don’t have any taste anyway; someone will like it.”  No, they won’t!  They sit there week after week looking more and more pitiful until the thrift store mercifully consigns them to the rubbish heap.  Sorry about that rant–I must be cranky from the smoky wildfires here in Colorado.

To illustrate my point about unmaking, here’s a topiary that deserves demolition:

For starters, that white pouf doesn’t enhance the design, and the fabric piece in the back looks like a tail; although to be fair, a bow would be awful too.  Wrapping the tree trunk in moss and spray painting the pot shiny gold isn’t helping, either.  I hope they made it for a wedding or garden party decoration; the guests can look at it, have a restoring sip of wine, and move on.  Having to look at it daily in your house might drive you bonkers.  Here is a close-up just to be mean (yep, it’s official, I’m crabby):

I’m pretty sure the two golden cherubs at the top are what set me off in the first place; the rest is just gratuitous excess.  ; – )

The topiary had a partner, although it’s smaller and less terrible:

I put this down to a fusion of bad Southwest and Cabin decor; does anyone else have a theory?  We were just glad the maker didn’t use this cactus infecting on a nearby shelf:

It looked like a fungal infection to us, or maybe it’s just a bad case of cacti shingles.

It wasn’t all botanical badness we saw.  There was this paint-by-numbers fail:

Part if its problem is the abandonment of the traditional P.B.N. style.  I don’t think that being 3-D helps this picture in any way.  I know the moose is supposed to be splashing through the water, but the white looks more like frost than spray.  The artist did do a neat job of painting and assembly, but that’s like putting a big bow on a cow pie.

The pottery painting wasn’t any better:

Just another case of someone confusing raised-relief ceramics for art.  Goodwill had it priced right at $1.99; there wouldn’t be any guilt when you slipped it into the clay pigeon barrel.

Hope you didn’t think you were getting away without a bad yarn craft:

The pillow was more than a foot across, so you can imagine how coarse the stitching was.  I think they’re supposed to be pansies; it’s hard to tell what flowers are being represented  because of the loose-weave fabric and the colors used .

Last crafty find:

This crocheted purse was as purple as a grape, with a lighter-colored shiny yarn used as an accent in the small squares.  There were big old cheap plastic jewels on the purse near the shoulder straps, and as the final touch, the bow has a plastic jewel too.  We aren’t 100% sure this isn’t a commercially made purse “improved” by an amateur, which somehow seems worse.

We did run into the usual assortment of bad commercially made things too:

This poor puppy has an identity crisis; he is supposed to be a St. Bernard, but didn’t quite make it past Cocker Spaniel.  Shame on the manufacturers–you’ve given him a huge brandy cask, and a stupid little hat.  You should have quit when you were ahead; he might be cute without his accessories.  The cookie jar dog’s face says it all, “I’m so sorry that I turned out this goofy, but it’s not my fault!”

Continuing on the theme of goofy pottery:

More cows, and Kathy wasn’t tempted one little bit to drag these home.  I’m not sure why the bull is wearing a top hat, but at least it isn’t tiny.  Can anyone tell me while there are big, black semicircles under their noses?

It was a bad day for bunnies, too:

He looks fully caffeinated, and unhappy to be stuck on top of a bowl, or maybe he is angry about being purple.  It’s tough to tell which is worse!

I’m not sure these next ceramic kitty statues are bad; they certainly are unusual:

I thought it was odd that Enesco, who made fine china ornaments and such, would choose to put rabbit fur on these kittens as decoration, but that’s the 60’s for you.  Imagine our surprise when we found their friend:

with a goofy tiny hat and hair.  What the heck is he supposed to be–a hobo mouse?

We came around the end of an aisle at Goodwill and were stunned by this bad boy:

At least we were able to laugh at the big, stuffed, orange and pink gorilla perched high over the bad art on the floor.  Personally, I’ll take him over the art any day.

This fellow hunter and gatherer of good stuff was parked outside our favorite “bad” thrift store:

The front passenger seat was chock-full of finds too, which was fortunate, because there wasn’t much goodness to be found inside.  No worries though, a truck full of treasures should be enough for anyone.

Well, ranting must be cathartic; my crankiness meter is reading zero now even though it’s still hot and smoky outside.  Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for some upcoming craft pamphlet craziness–both good and bad.  We hit the jackpot at an estate sale a couple of weeks ago, and of course we want to share!

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15 Responses to Oh No You Didn’t–Cantankerous Friday Finds

  1. Connie says:

    Maybe the black curved line just under the bull’s nostrils is a “Moostache”. 🙂 Sorry… couldn’t help myself.

    • kathydeb says:

      Oh my, your pun made me cower, he he he. “Moostache” makes as much sense as any other explanation for their face paint.

  2. Actually…I gotta say…if you took off the nasty pink bow and the plastic beads, I think the little purple crocheted purse is kinda cute. It has a nice shape, anyway.

    But the bunny…he actually made me laugh out loud. Good gawd, whoever painted that must hate rabbits!

    And the topiary…wow. Just wow.

    • kathydeb says:

      Without embellishments the purse was fun–especially if you like purple. There is some scary news about the topiary. Either someone went berserk and destroyed it at the store, or less likely, bought it and took that mess home.

  3. tkarengold says:

    You are so funny!
    I don’t know why I stopped getting email notification of your posts. I don’t see a way to sign up again but I’m on my cell.

    • kathydeb says:

      We’re so glad you enjoy our posts; not sure why you aren’t getting notifications–it could be some weird thing from WordPress. At worst, you could stop by on Fridays; we always have a new post then.

  4. Tabitha says:

    I’m thinking the black semi-circles under there noses is supposed to represent nose rings..

    • kathydeb says:

      We get that the lines could be nose rings, but it seems mean to put one on the female. Also, a bull wearing a top hat should have good manners and not need a ring in his nose ;- )

  5. Tabitha says:

    Just proof read it’s supposed to be their not there.. ugh. lol

  6. silkstone001 says:

    you find some of the funniest things im so glad it made your crankiness leave, but you aren’t cranky you are just scared of that fire its understandable. I would be too so take it all out on the thrift stores. someone needs to tell them, oh and if you ever get the chance let that reporter on tmz have it , with the bad blond hair weave i did lol maybe ill start a blog bad hair weaves lol thanks for the laughs and keep on posting its me jeff on the diva board

    • kathydeb says:

      Thanks Jeff–you’re right that it’s scary to have the fire so close. We both know people that have lost their homes or are evacuated; thank goodness they are ok. I really think that there is a blog out there for everyone, so if you feel like doing a bad hair weave blog–go for it. Can you talk about John Travolta’s bad hair? Thank you for the kind words and we are glad you enjoy the blog! Deb

  7. Connie says:

    Is that supposed to be a top hat on the St. Bernard/Cocker Spaniel cookie jar? If it is, it looks like the same hat mold was also used on the bull. 🙂 That’s it! Maybe there is just one large factory churning out bad pottery?

    • kathydeb says:

      It would be comforting to think so, but that’s too easy. Never underestimate the capacity of factories to make evil pottery!

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