We’re no Angels

Of course, we’re no Angels, or we wouldn’t be sitting here writing snarky posts about the harbingers of Joy and Peace; but I truly think there is no message that could be delivered by these ladies, without the recipient sitting there wondering what the the heck was going on.  There is something about Angels that brings out the crafters in force too.  Must be because they never seem to have any legs, as so many of them will be gracing the tops of those shiny aluminum trees.  Makes it easy for the beginning seamstress to whip up those dresses and wings.

The poor dears also seem to change addresses as fast as they can go.  Every sale you come to seems to have a full complement out looking for a new abode, and this sale was no different.  A whole tableful of them!

This poor girl is absolutely ashamed to be seen with the others, and had to close her eyes:

OK she has a cute face, but really, paper doilies and a Reader’s Digest?  No amount of gold paint can disguise that.

Not your style?  How about this “corny” lady?  Normally, a good corn husk doll makes me get out my ahhhhssss, but this one didn’t even come close:

To finish out the crowd we have these two felted charmers:

These two sisters have spent so much time bickering in the Christmas box, that they will longer even look at each other.  I certainly can’t see why anyone else would ever need two of them either.

This next item set us to giggling and having unworthy thoughts:

It’s a mold.  We always wondered where they came from. No wait, if we break it, there can never be any more.  OK, we’ll leave it on the shelf, but we know we will pay for it later when the products of said mold come to the thrift store shelves to haunt us with our lack of action.

Did I mention the tree topper thing?  Well, here are a couple of examples to prove my point, although neither is hand made.  Manufacturers don’t like making legs either:

She looks a little worried, but you would be too, if you had a plastic skirt and cardboard wings.  Actually, we thought she was rather sweet, but we have a soft spot for vintage holiday decorations.  (I know you all haven’t noticed that!!!)

This one … not so sweet.  We know why she was never released from the box:

No wonder the sticker covers up the Happy part of Holidays.  She would put a damper on any tree.  I think there could be mayhem amongst the other holiday ornaments as they ran screaming from her.

Deb thinks this little sassy one reminds her of Mae West.  “Come up to the top of the tree and see me sometime, Santa!!!”  It’s got to be those heart-shaped lips!

My contribution to the celebrity angel category is the following:

Yes, Princess Leia, has escaped Alderaan, and landed on your tree.  She brought an Ewok with her too!  You know, I probably could forgive a crafter for this, as they would have just gotten carried away, but for heaven’s sake, it has a commercial tag.  Some overzealous crocheter in a sweat shop in China made her.

We probably had a little too much fun with this last one, but we had to come up with some reason for the position of this not so angelic one:

Horn blaring, wings flailing, we thought it looked better like this:

Thanks to Deb’s beloved hubby for a little Photoshop play.  Here’s hoping all your angels truly ARE angelic, and if not, send us a photo, and we will share it with everyone!!

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9 Responses to We’re no Angels

  1. SusanB says:

    When my Husband and I moved into our house, my parents saw it as a golden opportunity and dumped (“gave”) us all of the old ornaments from their collection. We’re talking 70’s and 80’s junk, (AKA “treasures”). I know there are some corn husk beauties, (AKA “crap”) in the boxes somewhere! ;c)

    • Second Hand Roses says:

      We hope that you know that the back of the Christmas tree was specifically designed with “family treasure ornaments” in mind. It’s a win-win situation at that point! ;- )

  2. Terri Gold says:

    Princess Leia…LOL

    I promise..I’m going out with the camera today.

  3. Alrunia says:

    The snarky felted twins are SO adorable! Actually they look like their heads might have been taken off actual Pose Dolls.. or maybe their knockoffs. You should look into it because there might be some resale value there. 🙂

  4. Connie says:

    Oh dear lord. I thought that I would never again lay eyes on a Reader’s Digest craft project again. First time I have seen one in angel form. Many, many years ago, I made one in vacation bible school, but then again, I was 7 years old so I could be forgiven for that. I am surprised that this angel survived to make an appearance at a thrift store. My mom mercifully incinerated mine after it graced our table for approximately one week.

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