I knew it was going to be an interesting week when I got this fortune in my fortune cookie:
Ain’t that the story of our lives? This week proved no exception; there were plenty of terrible finds. Those loyal readers with weak stomachs should note, there are not one, but three terrible clowns in this post–BEWARE!!
We were greeted by these fraternal twins while walking into the store:
Okay, we know they’re in the glass case to prevent some irate customer from hurling these abominations to the floor. What we can’t understand is why glass artisans from Italy felt compelled to make these ugly things in the first place. Personally, I was hoping that they were cheap knock-offs from China, but no such luck, they are Italian. Recently, one of the clowns has migrated onto the regular shelves. I saw it amongst the Christmas decorations, if you can imagine–Ho Ho Ho. Now someone needs to have an accident, as in “Oops, so sorry, I seem to have broken your clown”, and the world will be safe again.
Right after the clown incident, we saw a promising sleeve sticking out of the dress rack:
The first picture was the BACK of the dress; we’re sure because there were darts and a lower neckline on this side. We don’t even want to contemplate the figure of someone who needs darts on the back of their dress.
We kind of like deconstructed clocks/watches as decorative items, but there was no helping this one: First off, we don’t think decoupage is necessarily the correct medium, and secondly there is just way too much going on here. It reminded us of those jewelry Christmas tree pictures where the creator used wonderful vintage pins and earrings and a ton of glue. It hurts to even look at it.
This little guy isn’t necessarily bad, in fact he is kind of cute. We feel that he could go with the carved wooden spoon we had in the blog a couple of weeks ago:
Kind of a Town and Country sort of pairing, or are we reaching here?
We were surprised by this abuse of shells. We thought we had seen it all–we were wrong:
After looking at this mess of shells and beads, the question that is running through my mind is about the cleavage button. Why use a classical-looking profile as decoration? Take our advice: if you want to wear something fun on your tropical vacation, try coconuts and leave the poor shells alone!
While we think this next find is pretty funny,
We feel compelled to point out that this saint looks suspiciously like Jesus, and not St. Otto (St. Auto?) as claimed by the makers, but the prayer is pretty funny, “St. Otto, assist me in my parallel parking skills, protect me from parking tickets and fines”. Who doesn’t need that kind of help?
We headed off to another thrift store (the scary one), and weren’t disappointed to see this sight:
Immediately our thought was “why can’t we just walk away, why do we always have to look?” We aren’t sure what happened to her clothes; there wasn’t a sign of them, and they would have been hard to miss being fluorescent pink! Personally, we would rather look at naked toilet paper than have one of these dolls in the bathroom. Obviously, the crafter disagreed with us:
You might wonder why the clown is in a bag? It could be that clowns are like zombies, and the condition is communicable; quarantine is the right move to prevent a plague of clowns. It’s always better to be safe than sorry (thanks Mom!)
From far away, this lamp could have been ok:
If you couldn’t see the base, that is. Like Kathy says, “it has one of everything but taste.” Sheesh, just put a regular base on the shade; or if you must, put a plain shade on that base. Together, they are a horror show.
Since I did an ambush True Confession on Kathy last week, I’ll ‘fess up to some purchases of my own.
I just cannot leave abandoned kids at a thrift store:
Anyone who has read our blog ever won’t be surprised by this next purchase:
Finally, these little things are like a plague of locusts at my house:
Here’s wishing you a lucky week of shopping. Be sure to check in next week for our Thanksgiving post, and our musings on Black Friday.