Match Made in Heaven, Decorations Made Elsewhere

It’s June, so time to trot out all of our wedding-related finds.  Not all of them are horrid, but they are odd.  Weddings typically are a celebration where everything HAS to be perfect, which makes some of these decorations all the more bewildering.

Let’s have a look at the first decoration, shall we?  No closing your eyes, it wouldn’t be fair!  Besides, this cake topper isn’t all that awful; some people find it amusing to perpetuate myths about women having to force men to marry them. ;- )Not sure what it says about Bridezilla, but that groom is definitely a wimp to be pulled down by a little thing like her.  Plus, that tackle would be a horse-collar penalty in American football.  The alternative explanation for this cake topper is that the groom is a zombie trying to run away from a zombie-killing bride  Can you see the red on the skirt of her gown?  It could be blood!

Another entry into the cake-topper sweepstakes is this vintage item:

It’s hand-painted plastic, says so right on the box.  If it had been made of fine china, this topper would have been a lovely traditional top for a wedding cake.  On the other hand, for a white-trash wedding, or even for a casual couple, who are amused by cheap, plastic vintage decor, this could be a winner.

Our next cake-topper entry is a creepy juxtaposition of weddings and babies. 

Does anyone else find this disturbing?  The worst part, in our minds, is that they are obviously ready to start their honeymoon–ick!  What couple would choose these figures to represent themselves?  Even Madonna stayed her own age when she sang Like a Virgin.

This next couple dovetails into the above rant, only they could be teenagers.

It may be legal for them to marry in some states–with parental permission and a court order.

Here is a whole shelf of “happy couples”, any of whom would be a better choice than the two above–yes even the penguin or bear couple!

Our last cake-topper is for the rare case where a woman marries herself; think Sue Sylvester from Glee.

If only this bride was wearing a jogging suit!  We did wonder what happened to the precious groom on this statue; it seems likely that the marriage might not have worked out.

It’s so difficult to make fun of wedding dresses; they usually look worse on a hanger, so it doesn’t seem fair to make fun of them hanging on the rack.  However, if you look long enough, you’re bound to find something.


We found this unusual dress at the Habitat thrift store.  It is traditional white, trimmed with maroon velvet under the bust, and around the veil.  It was probably perfect at the Christmas wedding, but my grandmother’s generation would definitely be humming of The Sadder-But-Wiser Girl song from The Music Man  The etiquette guru, Miss Manners, has written several books on weddings, in which she says:  Wedding Etiquette of our age is not very strict anymore. Today, Miss Manners allows brides to wear non-conventional color for a wedding gown. My thinking is why the heck can’t wedding dresses be sexy–within reason–if that’s what the couple wants.  That whole white, modest, pure idea has been pretty much been given up on anyway.  However, to best appreciate the first wedding dress, you have to see what was hanging next to it.

Because of all the white, you can best see the contrast by clicking on the picture and getting a bigger view.  This second dress would make Queen Victoria extremely happy; I’ve seen more exposed skin in a mosque. Putting these two wedding gowns next to each other is like having Jane Hathaway stand next to Mae West.

Well, that’s it for wedding weirdness.  Stay tuned for the weekly Friday Finds post later in the week.

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10 Responses to Match Made in Heaven, Decorations Made Elsewhere

  1. Terri Gold says:

    Another enjoyable post! Thank you. The ‘teenage’ couple look like Farmville characters. The naked babies is just downright wrong. I do not understand that at all. I think the runaway groom is a riot. As a former wedding photographer I found that men wanted to get married as much as the women did. It was a pleasant surprise.
    The last single bride figure…isn’t that line of figurines supposed to represent dead children or am I thinking about other ones?

  2. Connie says:

    The second wedding dress reminds me of my first prom dress and the brand was ‘Gunny Sax’. It was always easy to spot this brand because they featured high lace colors, wrist length sleeves, intricate lace insets, pin tuck details, and hems that scraped the floor. Needless to say, my dad was involved in the dress selection process (he did not think that I would pick out a proper dress) and then to cap it off, my mom gave me a HUGE white shawl to wear over it. Yep… at my very first prom, I looked like an extra from ‘Little House on the Prairie’.

    • Second Hand Roses says:

      He, he, he–can you see kids today wearing a Gunny Sax dress to the prom, or for a wedding dress?

  3. Connie says:

    Is the teenage couple sporting glitter on their attire? One can only hope that this was a traditional statue to commemorate prom rather than a wedding.

    • Second Hand Roses says:

      Yep, that’s multicolor glitter. We kind of felt it was a bridal thing because of the bouquet, and the top hat. We would rest easier though, if you could convince us it was a prom decoration ;- )

  4. Karon in Va says:

    Hehehe….. I can actually visualize Jane Hathaway standing next to Mae West. I’m old enough to know who they are 😉 Great commentary!

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