It’s June, so time to trot out all of our wedding-related finds. Not all of them are horrid, but they are odd. Weddings typically are a celebration where everything HAS to be perfect, which makes some of these decorations all the more bewildering.
Let’s have a look at the first decoration, shall we? No closing your eyes, it wouldn’t be fair! Besides, this cake topper isn’t all that awful; some people find it amusing to perpetuate myths about women having to force men to marry them. ;- )Not sure what it says about Bridezilla, but that groom is definitely a wimp to be pulled down by a little thing like her. Plus, that tackle would be a horse-collar penalty in American football. The alternative explanation for this cake topper is that the groom is a zombie trying to run away from a zombie-killing bride Can you see the red on the skirt of her gown? It could be blood!
Another entry into the cake-topper sweepstakes is this vintage item:
It’s hand-painted plastic, says so right on the box. If it had been made of fine china, this topper would have been a lovely traditional top for a wedding cake. On the other hand, for a white-trash wedding, or even for a casual couple, who are amused by cheap, plastic vintage decor, this could be a winner.
Does anyone else find this disturbing? The worst part, in our minds, is that they are obviously ready to start their honeymoon–ick! What couple would choose these figures to represent themselves? Even Madonna stayed her own age when she sang Like a Virgin.
This next couple dovetails into the above rant, only they could be teenagers.
Here is a whole shelf of “happy couples”, any of whom would be a better choice than the two above–yes even the penguin or bear couple!
Our last cake-topper is for the rare case where a woman marries herself; think Sue Sylvester from Glee.
It’s so difficult to make fun of wedding dresses; they usually look worse on a hanger, so it doesn’t seem fair to make fun of them hanging on the rack. However, if you look long enough, you’re bound to find something.
We found this unusual dress at the Habitat thrift store. It is traditional white, trimmed with maroon velvet under the bust, and around the veil. It was probably perfect at the Christmas wedding, but my grandmother’s generation would definitely be humming of The Sadder-But-Wiser Girl song from The Music Man. The etiquette guru, Miss Manners, has written several books on weddings, in which she says: Wedding Etiquette of our age is not very strict anymore. Today, Miss Manners allows brides to wear non-conventional color for a wedding gown. My thinking is why the heck can’t wedding dresses be sexy–within reason–if that’s what the couple wants. That whole white, modest, pure idea has been pretty much been given up on anyway. However, to best appreciate the first wedding dress, you have to see what was hanging next to it.
Because of all the white, you can best see the contrast by clicking on the picture and getting a bigger view. This second dress would make Queen Victoria extremely happy; I’ve seen more exposed skin in a mosque. Putting these two wedding gowns next to each other is like having Jane Hathaway stand next to Mae West.
Well, that’s it for wedding weirdness. Stay tuned for the weekly Friday Finds post later in the week.