You Got Me This Instead of Chocolate?

Realistically, most women want candy or flowers for Valentine’s Day.  I get really excited when beloved husband gives both; I smile when he buys me a nice card.  There may be trouble if he comes home with any of these things pictured below:

It’s a heart–why isn’t it filled with chocolate?  Rolled-up circles of felt, while interesting, are not an acceptable substitute.  The lettering is pretty creepy too–I love you so much I melted?  Or maybe it’s “I love you so much I wet myself!”

What about these two?

We know why both of these Valentine’s Day “presents” are at the thrift store–what were they thinking?  OMG, how hard is it to swing by the grocery store and buy flowers?  Of course, they may have been purchased for a kid; we’re sure there are other, less tacky things a child would rather have, and may actually enjoy.

This next item is for the lover who really can’t make up their minds.  It has one of everything, except for good taste.

It has a fiber optic lighted, artificially scented flower.  It plays “for Alice”  Hmmm.  What if your girls name is Hilda? or … fill in the blank!  At least they included the 2 AA size batteries.  Funny, it was never opened.  They were probably afraid it had hidden features that weren’t even mentioned.  Sadly, we don’t think those batteries are powerful enough to make those bears useful in any “romantic” way.

For the Valentine too cheap to spring for real flowers, we have this lovely silk candle holder.  The better to set that romantic evening on fire.  Trust me, this one was worse in person.

Here’s wishing our loyal readers a Valentine’s Day free of these kinds of gifts.  I’m sure your beloved spouse or significant other has much better taste–they picked you for a sweetie, didn’t they?

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4 Responses to You Got Me This Instead of Chocolate?

  1. Matty says:

    Bwhahahahah! This so made my morning!

    And that silk flower candle thingy is trés elégant. Oui?

  2. Terri Gold says:

    Sadly, we don’t think those batteries are powerful enough to make those bears useful in any “romantic” way.

    You slay me!

    I hope the HTML I used works properly. If not, feel free to make fun of me.

  3. jeffery says:

    well, its the thought that counts. but i get one of the following every year, jewelry, cologne, or chocolates. flowers were planted 15 years ago and last a lifetime they bloom every february. so im one fo the lucky ones. purple tulips for valentines

  4. Connie says:

    The items shown kinda makes me wish that I had a match….

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