Assaulted by Friday Finds

We could have shouted “hot damn” when we walked into Goodwill and were immediately assaulted by two things.  Well, we would have been happy, if we hadn’t at that precise moment realized that neither of us brought a camera.  Back to my house (it’s closer) and then right back to Goodwill, hoping that no one had bought our items.  Fat chance.  ;- )

Goodness me, it’s The Three Graces:

Well, not so much with those outfits and proportions.  Those nuns sure have big old heads.  At first, I thought I had resized the photograph incorrectly.  But no, that really is what they look like.  I guess you might want these in your home if you were a fervent Catholic; but then again, maybe not, if you were incarcerated in Catholic school!  Can’t tell where it was made; the bottom is covered very neatly with felt.

Right on top of the showcase was this fellow:

Ok, what was the creator’s vision here?  There’s a rough-hewn plaster face, topped with a raccoon head-deer horn hat, and clothed with raccoon fur.  Is he supposed to be a shaman, a mystic, a Neanderthal?  He had a gaily painted bow, but that’s beside the point.  This thing belongs in art prison for first degree assault on the viewer’s eyes.  Ugh, that little raccoon head gives me the willies.  As we were looking at it, a man next to us said, “Cool, huh?”  We gave him blank looks, and he slowly backed away.  How much you want to bet it will be gone next week?

Then we immediately ran into this giant pocketbook:

Looks like something Queen Elizabeth would carry–at least a foot wide, and decorated with one of everything!  The bottom is fake alligator/giant-lizard skin; just what that purse needed to put it over the top and into orbit.  And no, it is NOT vintage, so there is no excuse for that color.  Ugh.

Things were pretty safe and sane a while, and then we saw this bizarre pair:

The rock is labeled “treasures” just in case you can’t read it.  The words “delightful treasures for one and all to share” are among the shells.  I guess “delightful” is in the eye of the beholder; the more appropriate caption might be “bewildering”.  Good thing they used the old ransom-note font, otherwise we might have been able to identify the guilty party.  Curses, foiled again!

Just as a show of good faith, here is a fun thing.  Well, at least it isn’t awful!

We thought of them as flat dolls–maybe from Greece?  The clothing, and attention to detail are very good, and they make a bright, cheerful pair.  I have some questions about the gender of the right-most figure, but who am I to cast aspersions?

I’m not sure how much I would have to drink to wear this fez:

Really, Rolling Rock is not a beverage that makes me think of a braided and bedazzled fez- unless there is a secret enclave of the Ottoman army in western Pennsylvania.  And, aren’t fezzes supposed to be red?  Maybe this one was part of a St. Patty’s Day celebration, which is kind of a weird combo.  After this week’s shopping trip, I did feel in need of a gin and tonic; might as well pass the fez too!

Thanks to one of our Loyal Readers (Barb.  We won’t divulge last names to protect the innocent!), we have been blessed with the following:

I’m not sure why anyone would want a paperweight that looks like something some sick fish up chucked.  They couldn’t even manage entire shells.  Oh well, at least there is glitter to make up for it.  Glitter cures everything, just ask those manufacturers in Japan.

Then we have this photo.  You get a twofer here.  Not entirely clear on which one is the worst, but that cat bottle thing really bothers me.  The cat must be in pain.  I sure am.

The bunny seems almost tame, but I do think he is a close relative of the Michelin Man.

And still on our Beach theme,  (well, I am on a beach theme, as the temp outside this week has hovered around 10 F.) Here is this fun fellow:

I have to admit this one rather tickles the funny bone, but I still can’t visualize the spot in anyone’s decor where this would look at home.  Well, except on that beach!

And finally from another Loyal Reader (Ruth):

“Lovely to look at, Lovely to hold, and if you break, it’s a favor to all- It won’t have to be sold!”

Better not break everything, or we would be out of blog material.  Never gonna happen!  Till next time.

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2 Responses to Assaulted by Friday Finds

  1. Terri Gold says:

    Since it’s 10 below zero on my front deck….maybe I’ll just take a camera and go in the basement and take some pictures. I’ll bet you could do an entire week’s worth of jokes with what I find.
    OK, I won’t (right now.)
    The Neanderthal head was scary.

    • Second Hand Roses says:

      Brr, stay inside if you can! Our houses are full of things probably as “bad” as some of the stuff we make fun of. Although neither of us would have that Neanderthal head anywhere near our houses!

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