We’re a Couple of Misfits

I love the Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer Christmas special.  Herbie the Elf, the Bumble, Yukon Cornelius, and all the rest never fail to make me smile and feel a little bit happier.  So, in the spirit of this classic show, we would love to send all of the Christmas items in this post to the Island of Misfit Toys (and Bad Christmas Decor).

First up is something that no one would ever miss if it just disappeared:

I imagine even getting $6.99 for this tree may be a struggle.  She kind of reminds me of Robin Williams as the creepy guy in One Hour Photo.  Where is the kindly, snuggly Mrs. Claus we all know and love?  You know it’s Mrs. Claus because of the sign, and lack of a big white beard, but I really think she should have hair.  Michaels created this abomination, and it’s a testament to America’s good taste that this tree isn’t selling well.

Next up is something so ugly, we wouldn’t even buy it for our dolls:

Nothing says Winter Holiday Season like a pink plastic pergola, with bad bottle brush trees,  huge cardinals, and a fiber-optic tree.  Yeesh!

I’m not sure where the creator was going with this plastic winter greens arrangement:

I wouldn’t let this reindeer join in any reindeer games either, not out of meanness, just worried about a neck injury.  I’m surprised her toothpick neck can hold up that head, thank goodness there aren’t any antlers.  Too bad all that plastic couldn’t just be put under enormous pressure and be turned back into oil.

Speaking of turning plastic back into oil, these two should qualify:

I kind of like plastic canvas if it’s done right, but there is no hope for these kits.  I’m pleased that no one has made these craft projects, it shows great restraint and taste.  Now if the Paragon Needlecraft Company had just shown some taste and restraint, the world would be a better place.

I’m not sure the fiber artist achieved their goal with this next object:


Poor little Santa, with his weird expressionless face and T-rex arms, is sure to put the “huh?” into your Christmas decor.

So far, we’ve shown you yarn candles and Santas, but wait, there is another entry in the decorating with yarn crafts derby:

a yarn poinsettia!  I call her Audrey 2, and wouldn’t trust her near my collection of vintage felt elves–she looks hungry and evil.

We haven’t really featured any ornaments so far, but never fear, we do have an horrible pair.  May we introduce Frankenbeary and Pooh Bear:

I leave you to deduce which is which, and why they were so named.  Hanging these “ornaments” on a tree would probably produce a needle molt out of pure horror.

We’re in the home stretch now, just a couple of more items.  The next picture isn’t really so horrible all by itself, but we know what crafty folks make out of these:

Need we remind you all of the Christmas sweaters from last week’s post?  I’m still having nightmares about them!  Anyway, we now know where all the garland, poinsettias, and other Christmas chotchkies came from.  Kathy actually said aloud, “make your own ugly sweater kits” when viewing the storage tubs, so obviously she was traumatized by those decorated sweaters too.

Our last item is a twofer:

Nothing says Christmas like plastic poinsettia, ferns and red lights; the addition of a Twelve Days of Christmas candle is just gratuitous.  Actually, the candle stand could be attractive with real greens, pine cones, and maybe just candles, not red hurricane globes.  There isn’t any hope for the candle, so just burn it already!

Whew, that was a lot of bad to look at.  Our next post will be full of Christmas goodness and cheer, or at least our interpretation of such.  Thanks for reading, and as always, we would love to see pics of bad things you find.

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6 Responses to We’re a Couple of Misfits

  1. Karon Montague says:

    Frankenbeary and Pooh Bear…… snort! Hahaha….*laughs so much, wipes a tear from her eye*

  2. Terri Gold says:

    I have to admit that in the past I probably would have purchased the needlepoint kit because it looks like a vintage sewing item – a category I came up with to justify buying crap I never made.

  3. Connie says:

    Hey,

    I think that my mom bought that plastic reindeer sometime in the early 60s, but without all the other junk around it. Maybe someone bought the reindeer when we had the estate sale and the buyer had visions of petroleum-based-crafts? Oh god… the reindeer is following me. How in the hell did it make it out to Colorado?

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