On a typical Friday, we spend about 90% of our time talking, and 10% looking. This is basic self-defense–who knows what we might see, if we looked at everything on thrift store shelves? Once you see something, it’s hard to unsee it, if you know what I mean. This first item falls into that “wish I could unsee this” category:
Really take a good look (if you dare!) at this ceramic representation of my noble profession. That face puts me in mind of an evil shemale scientist who has you strapped down on a table, all ready for an experiment. In her hand is either a syringe, or a really big rectal thermometer, neither of which I would trust her with for one hot minute. The picture of her backside (and boy baby has back!) depicts either an old-fashioned enema bag, or an old-fashioned douche bag. Again, I would not trust her with either of those items. Looking at her feet, I see a chamber pot, which just adds to the overall charm of the scene. Honestly, I think this is in the running for most disturbing thing ever–who would put it on a knickknack shelf? If I got this as a gift, my reaction would be pure stupefaction. If it’s still there next week, I might buy it just so I can break it; nurses everywhere will thank me!
Compared to Nurse Ratched, the next pair of lamps seem almost benign–don’t be fooled:They are just a pompom lampshade away from being truly hideous!
It’s not hard to understand why this sink was never used in the bathroom remodel:
It really is a bad shade of mauve, beige, and blech. Glad we don’t see it much anymore. When looking down from the top of the sink, it looks like a star pattern–a bold design choice. Up close, you realize that assessment was way too kind. The star pattern is actually raised, hanging folds of fabric–so you don’t have to use towels? I can just see the wallpaper that was selected to match.
This next thing could have been kind of cute:
I call him “Stop already” puppy. If you removed half of the decoration, you would have a colorful, fun dog for a kid’s room. But the designer didn’t chose to go that route, and we end up with this. Even my camera didn’t want to look clearly at it ;- )
Let’s take a little break and look at some thrift store humor:
This bag of Christmas decorations caught my eye because of the dinosaur; someone in the back room was having fun. Looking closer, I noticed a sword wielding knight facing off with the “dragon”. Gotta love someone who puts that much thought into bagging up cheap ornaments at a thrift store.
We’re on the home stretch now, hang in there. These last two items had to be owned by the same person; first up, the rare (thank god) rock owl:
I’m telling you what they are so you can “see” beyond the tape and packing material to make sense of the picture. Not only is the tape shiny, the creator used polished rocks. Not sure if these owls always lived in the cardboard box, or if they are actually fastened together. It doesn’t really matter, the whole concept is so shudderingly bad. I will just mention in passing the pipe cleaner feet.
By contrast the felt owl is almost cute:
I’m kind of worried about his eyes, aren’t they supposed to be large and prominent for hunting purposes? Not sure about that beak either, is it up to the task of eating small mammals? Weirdly enough, Kathy and I both kind of like the felt owl; we can’t justify it, but he does have personality and funny ears.
Thank you for reading our blog. Don’t forget to look for the next installment of Holiday Horrors, it’s sure to be a doozy!