Here Comes Santa Claus, or Bad Santa!

The Christmas season is upon us, ready or not!  We have seen tons of holiday horrors related to this celebration of religious beliefs, winter solstice, commercialism, family ties, or whatever you celebrate at this time of the year.  Hopefully, we can group them into a weekly post, right up to Christmas.

Let’s start out with Santa and all of his minions.  First up is a family portrait:

I like to call this bad boy “Captain Morgan” Santa.  I understand why he is putting a little rum into his eggnog; take a look at Mrs. Santa for a fuller explanation–nuff said.

Next up:  Who’s got a beard that’s long and white?  Santa’s got a beard that’s long and white.  Who wears boots and a suit of red?  Santa wears boots and a suit of red!

White beard, check.  Boots and suit of red, check.  Jaundiced complexion, whhaa?  Poor Santa looks like he’s ready for rehab, and is seeing pink elephants already.

This next Santa is an example of what happens when Mommy kisses Santa Claus:

His raised eyebrows are suggest a “Hey ladies, got some sugar for Santa?” come-on, and what’s the deal with one golden ball hanging below?  Yeah, we did pull it, and nothing happened–typical!

How about poor Mrs. Santa?  She works as hard as her man, and gets no love from the masses:

Poor thing, curtsying with a big ole basket on her head.  We did not set this picture up, the store employees are the culprits.  They have to have their fun too.

Finally, there are the elves who do 99% of the actual work:

Although, how any toy-making gets done with felt arms and a pine cone body is beyond me.  I usually love these little fellas, but there is something off-putting about a pine-cone body.

Hope you enjoyed this week’s Holiday Horrors.  Don’t despair, there are plenty more to post, plus we’re finding more every week.  Maybe we can have Christmas all year-long–right kids?  Someone stop me NOW!

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