True Confession time–no, not where we confess to buying some oddity, but rather an admission of forgetfulness. I was getting ready to write Friday Finds, and found some forgotten Friday finds–oops. Once you see some of this stuff, you might wish it had remained forgotten!
Have you ever wanted a room decorated in lavender? We have a cure for that:
Of course, if you have that dresser, you would probably want to have this on your purple satin bedspread:
Look at those empty eyes and let the nightmares begin, and of course, lots of blue eyeshadow makes it better!
We knew we were going to have a good day of bad when we saw this:
We had two questions: What did the “F” stand for ( we had a guess, but we couldn’t print that!); and Why bother? Those were perfectly utilitarian white buttons, mostly plastic, a few glass–not a one worth anything. Why put them on a dull beige background and display them in a fancy frame; are we missing something here? Now, if they were on a brightly colored background, making fun flower or animal shapes, we would just smile and pass on. But noooo … the maker chose this as their artistic statement. We would rather see the craft-work of thrifty grannies mixing and matching left-over colors with wild abandon, than this kind of stuff. Better blinded than bored.
Some days all you have to do is wish for something; we were complaining of the boring F picture, and then we saw these salt and pepper shakers:
Not boring by any means, plenty of color to spare. If there had been just a little more attention to workmanship, these little guys may have been irresistible. See how fine the line can be for us? (Yeah, it scares our husbands too ;- )
Now we are at the golden part of the post, almost a shower of gold you might say:
Is she sitting, or doing squats? What the heck is she holding in her left hand with her giant man hands? And precisely what is she holding onto to support the golden urn; are Grandpa’s ashes going to spill down her front? That creepy facial expression is the last straw, what was the artist thinking during the sculpting process? But, hold onto your socks, the angel is much better than this piece of statuary:
It’s hard to know where to start–this girl is an epic fail. Lets start at the bottom shall we? The angle of her leg from knee to ankle looks painful, you could use her leg as a right parenthesis. And as anyone knows, it would be like wearing a crown of thorns to have great, long garlands of roses around your arms, dragging along side of you. Words fail me when I consider having roses under my dress, rubbing against the bits there. As for her dress, is there an invisible handmaiden behind her, holding her dress? Or are we to suppose that there is wire inserted in the hem to create that effect? The basket isn’t too bad, and really, one big basket of roses is enough for anyone. The garlands around her are just pure overkill. As bad as all this is, take a look at her face:
Is that a hat, her hair, or a lampshade on her head? Why are her eyes the same size as her mouth, and her ears big enough for flight? What is the band across her forehead–part of her hat? Man, we sound like a four year-old–why, why, why? Good thing the artist is good old anonymous, otherwise we might have hunted them down and forcefully suggested alternative careers.
Oh no, we aren’t done yet; consider these three 1970’s dresses, thoughtfully placed in the Halloween costume section. They weren’t always costumes, some poor female appeared in public wearing these, not as a joke:
Really, these pictures say it all. Please, fashion goddess hear my prayer; let’s keep the styles of the 1970’s a distant memory, only to surface at Halloween.
Lastly, this tried really hard to be a lovely art nouveau coffee cup, it just missed:
It obviously was treasured; it’s an old piece of china without a chip. It just isn’t a good example of the genre, sort of garish with a poorly executed cyclamen. Here is a better example, in my opinion, fresh from my windowsill:
Well, hope we satisfied the reader who requested more photos. You know of course that you can click on all the pictures and get more details. I would just suggest a toddy in hand before you experiment, wouldn’t want to overset anyone’s nerves.